Walking through the mall dragging Mom with me was an experience. I am realizing how quick and full of energy I have gotten despite the achey joints. I also was greatly suprised as I went to be fitted for a Bra. All the bras have been so much looser and fitting weird I am now down to a 36C Yippee!!!!!! nice but it was not long ago when I had to buy bras before- the expense of health. OH WELL. wearing smaller jeans is great and I can buy them at goodwill or at garage sales ect ,but bras are new or no go in my book. 
   I am trying to make it through the next week as My Fathers B-day and annicversary is all together and the emotions of not having him around are difficult. So to help mom I am going away to nearby state for a quilt  show and shopping with a quick visit to my daughter. Hope all goes well. We are seeing alot of changes in habits that make travel more available  and have learned eating out can be easier than I ever thought before.Party time  come home!!!!! 

    OMG!!!!! the pressure after 2 weeks was bothering me... blood pressure that is. I had been snowed in at work eating more processed foods than normal and then who knows why it was staying at 150/85 range but then I noted that the pulse dropped to 39 one day- I am not that great and strong of an athlete to have that pulse rate.Now I have to go through another cardiac workup UGHH!!!! taking Hyzaar again and can we say in 2 days lost 5 pounds peeing all the way home ........ not sure what all the blood test showed as to hydration level and all the  other stuff. Praying a lot and remembering I took 3 1/2 blood pressure meds before ,so 1 pill is not gonna kill me just my pride. Fear also calls that the diabetic meds could come back ,but that area is still doing well Thank God.
    I am also so proud to say I had and have parents that have supported my choice for surgery and the journey I am running . My Buddy did not have that and I even made her Mother cry today in pointing out how much strength it took for her to go beyond what her mother wanted to take care of herself. I am proud to stand up for her, yet sad to make a Mother cry .It made me realize what a treasure I have in my family and friends. I may not have accomplished the goal of new friends completely, but am one a long road with the goal that will never end ...FRIENDS that count, not acquaintances. Good night friends and all

    well the computer got fried( hard-drive something or other) and a new one was obtained finally. I even put it together and hooked all the plugs and have it working!!! Yippee now to remember all the pesky passwords I had saved that are no longer recognizing the new computer.
     I have definitely not been as diligent with holidays and family here. Upsetting to realize how much family gatherings are a STRESS in my life. I also discovered how much food is used to stuff my mouth to keep me from saying things best left unsaid. I am a STUFFER of thoughts, feelings and emotion. The counselor thought I was not an emotional eater ( Yeah Right) ,  but I use food to keep from expressing myself. I think I have suppressed MYSELF so deep I would have to eat a horse or two to see some light of ME. ( I do not by any means suggest eating a horse, maybe a cow or two,  as I love a good steak). I express this line of thinking for all those out there like me who were taught do not say things if they are not nice. Yes words cannot be taken back and linger in every ones mind.  I think one should consider words carefully before saying things that may hurt ,but to keep yourself from saying all you think and feel will be a MONSTER inside that builds. I might need severe counseling and I will deal with it as I come to it since my layers are packed tight- One layer at a time in finding the Total ME Again
    I conclude tonight by saying I resolve to speak up for ME...likes, dislikes, thoughts and feelings, peeling back my layers one at a time and being accountable for all of ME and only My actions and thoughts. A big project for this year I think , but achievable !!!