I have not posted on here for a long time. You see, I have not been very successful in this first 7 months of this journey. I didn't want to post anything negative. But, if the process is to be seen as what it is, the down sides must be shown. Nobody should go into this not knowing and accepting what comes, what may happen, and what you will have to do. The bottome line is this, I thought this would be easier. It is not easy. I still have to choose the correct foods, in the correct amounts and eat completely different from what I have done for the first 52 years of my life. I can no longer put a mouth-full of food in my mouth, each bit must be small, really small. And it must be chewed until it is the consistency of applesauce before it is even swallowed. These are not suggestions, these are musts. I met with the dietician yesterday and had a wonderful session with her. We thoroughly discussed the food plan, the rules, the reasons for the rules and she was so good. I did have a problem when I go to the dr. visit. He was going to do a small un-fill, as the dietician and I both think I am too tight. I have 3.5cc in a 4. cc. band. But alas, he was unable to access the port. I have to go back next Tuesday and have it attempted unfer x-ray, and I pray that it was just at a bad angle, and not flipped. But to face the music, I am only down 21 lbs instead of 31, because of my gaining and losing and gaining and losing and cheating, and eating soft ice cream when I couldn't swallow anything else.  If you are reading this for information, take this seriously. If you are trying to choose between the RNY and the lapband, remember this. The struggles I am having now with learning how to eat, will eventually come to an RNY patient, perhaps 18 mos or 2 yrs down the road. For the first 6 to 8 months, their body will not let them over do it, or cheat. But in the end, all of us fat people have to learn and change the way we eat if we are to live.

Well, I got my first fill today. Didn't hurt a bit. The dr. had me stay at the office for about 15 minutes, sipping water to make sure everything was working as it should. I'll be on liquids for 24 hours now. But this is pretty exciting, I have felt full since I was at his office. Have not been hungry yet at all. Sure hope I feel restriction with  this fill. I'm very optimistic about this working just as it should. I have decided I need to keep a journal, this was recommended by the bariatric nurse right before I had surgery. I thought it probably wouldn't be necessary. But there are a lot of emotional ties to food that I need to acknowledge so that I can release them. 
Here I go!

I am two weeks out from surgery, and feel great. I've lost another 8 lbs for a total of 29 lbs since the very beginning. I can hardly believe the difference in the way I feel, for it just to be 2 weeks. I have started using the push mower for exercise and that is something I haven't done in about 9 years. It feels so good to be doing something so physical. I do get hungry, but when I eat my alotted meal, I fill up and stay full for about 4 to 5 hours, so I can't complain about that. I'm drinking my water and taking my vitamins, so I can honestly say so far, this is working just fine for me. I have had a few "oh my gosh" moments, but only a few. Which surprises me. I'm so glad I have chosen this route, and I thank God for Him allowing me to do it. If anyone is reading this and contemplating surgery, give it much prayer, but do not be afraid of it. You have to make a decision one way or another, believe me, if you choose to do nothing, you are choosing the hard way. Also I found out I have a 4cc band, and the dietician told me I should have good restriction by my 2nd fill.