Walking in the early spring! on March 22, 2012 2:32 pm
Wow! I just got back from taking an hour-long walk through my neighborhood. Spring came super-early to my zone 7 garden & its surrounds. Tulips that usually bloom in mid- to late-April are wide open. I've lived in the Washington DC metro area my whole life (born in DC) & I have never seen such early blooming. The trees are fabulous with their big fluffy snowballs of tiny flowers. The redbuds are starting to burst open too.
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Great walk for me. Walked for one hour (my longest since my surgery 3 weeks ago) at a fairly steady pace (not the slow shuffling I've been doing since my RNY). I was dripping with sweat when I got home. I tell you, spas are great, but my humble shower became the most expensive hydrobath today! I had a nice coolish shower & followed it with a body splash from Spain (agua de colonia) that I adore (super-light scent). Then I turned on my ceiling fan & closed my eyes. Ah!
Got 50% of my protein in already today. Struggled with that yesterday. Just wasn't hungry enough for it. So when I got up I made up my shake & down it went. Took all my supplements so far too.
Tomorrow's Friday! Even though I'm not working right now, I still adore Fridays. Meeting my BFF for an early dinner. I can't wait! I've been such a hermit since my surgery. Hope all my OH friends are doing wonderful today!
3-week post-op appt with my Primary Care on March 21, 2012 9:03 pm
My regular doctor (who's also my endocrinologist) said I was doing well. He was impressed with my scar (how small it is & how well it's healing). He did say I looked pale to him.
I showed him my blood glucose numbers since the surgery, & he was thrilled (more than me). I've been diabetic for over a decade & insulin-dependent for almost 2 years. I started with 20 units of insulin, & a few days before my surgery I was up to 90 units. I went from a fasting blood glucose (without insulin) of 349, to post-surgery (open RNY) fasting blood glucose (no insulin) of about 140. To me, that's a miracle!
Since 2/28 I've lost about 19 lbs. I'm happy with that, but not head-over-heels. My doctor tried to give me a new oral medication for diabetes. I told him flat out: I won't take them, don't give them to me! (I stood up for myself! Shocking!) I told him that insulin is not my enemy. It's saved my life for almost 2 years. Why would I use anything else? Besides, I've taken every oral medication for diabetes that's been on the market (& most of them have been pulled by the FDA), & they never worked. EVER. Hopefully, when I lose more weight, I won't have the need for insulin. But right now, I'll be taking about 20 units a night to get my glucose down to between 80-90 where it belongs.
Still grappling with the situation with my husband. Talked to my counselor today about it. She recommended the book by Melody Beattie, Beyond Codependency: And Getting Better All the Time. I got it on eBay & I'm going to read it as soon as it arrives. My counselor told me I had to start practicing living my life the way *I* want to live it, so that if I am with my husband or not, I will have made the changes I need to make so that I can be happy.
I love that idea. I've had the RNY, something I've been wanting for years. That's already changing me & the way I live so that I can lead a healthier, happier life. But that's only a part of what I need to work on. I have patterns that I repeat in my life (with my husband, friendships, extended family, jobs) that I MUST address & work on every day to change.
I hope all my OH friends are doing little things every single day to make their lives happier. You all are always in my prayers & good thoughts.
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Wow. What a challenging day. on March 16, 2012 10:12 pm
I've seen blog posts from my friends on OH saying they've had serious problems with constipation. I hadn't had that problem until today.
I think I know why it suddenly happened. I've been taking Lunesta the past 3 nights to sleep. I'd stopped taking it at the end of January because I was sleeping better when I found out I was approved for my RNY by Aetna! But I haven't fallen asleep until dawn every night I've been back from the hospital (2 weeks today). So 3 nights ago I said what the heck & took a Lunesta 3mg. About an hour later I took another one. I slept better than I'd slept in weeks.
But the thing is, these drugs slow down your whole body & every one of its systems, including your digestive tract. I had my Traditional Medicinals Smooth Move tea yesterday & thought la de da, no problem, tomorrow I'll be "just fine." That didn't happen.
I had such a horrible afternoon (yes, the whole afternoon) straining to go. I was sweating, crying, almost fainting. Wow. That is the first time I can remember in my life I've ever had constipation that bad. It was painful, scary, & it would have been embarrassing except that I was home alone!
Finally I "found relief." I was so happy I was crying. I was so drenched in sweat I put a beach towel on my bed & lay down because I was so weak. When I felt stronger I got up & took the hottest, most heavenly shower ever. I felt reborn.
Another thing I must share with you: I've had a rocky (that's putting it mildly) relationship with the Hubs ever since the day I had surgery. I feel like a huge strain was put on my marriage (the Hubs has NEVER had to deal with anything like this with me before; I'm always the one who handles everything), & the Hubs buckled quickly under the strain.
I've felt like I need to say exactly what's on my mind, to the Hubs & to my BFF. I don't have food to push down the emotions & the hurts anymore. I just jumped in head-first into this new me, saying if I'm upset about an offhand but hurtful remark, a repeated behavior that's not healthy for my BFF, etc.
So last night I had a HUGE argument with the Hubs. Right before I got home to him, I had a "come to Jesus" with my BFF at a restaurant. I told her things that have been bothering me for years. Not a lot of things, but things I really think are deal-breakers in a friendship, & that I've let slide up 'til now. We had a great talk, but she did say I hurt her feelings. Not sure we really made any headway; actually, I think this might be the end of our friendship.
I got home & the Hubs & I were yelling at each other (we haven't done that in years). I was crying. I was really desolate. I knew my marriage had "issues," but wow. This was really sad. The Hubs said, "I don't know what happened to you when you had that surgery, but there's something wrong. You're a different person."
Yes, I have to stand up for myself now because there isn't a pizza nearby for me to take comfort from. But I really have been on edge since the surgery 2/28/2012.
Here's the kicker: I got my period today. Big whups, right? Considering I'm post-(or so I thought) menopausal, & haven't had a period since 10/2009, well, YES. BIG WHUPS. WTF?
I guess that's a big part of why I was so "on edge" (such a nice term compared to raving lunatic PMS bitchy) the past couple of weeks!
So the surprises continue to come. This is one heck of a ride. I wonder who'll still be in the clown car when it comes to a full stop?
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Getting my walking in (drama & all) on March 11, 2012 10:18 pm
Went for a LONG SLOW walk today in the fabulous sunshine & breeze. It was WONDERFUL.
Started to feel a little winded towards the end. Slowed even slower, which honestly I don't know how it was even possible (not kidding). Almost home... picturing the blue recliner just waiting for me to fall into it... Almost passed out before I made it, but I did. Sat there for about 20 minutes with my heart beating wildly in my chest. Finally got my heart rate down.
Got up & went up to take a shower. Almost fainted in the shower. Whew. That was NOT FUN. Sat on the floor of the shower for a minute... got up, tried to wash more... sat down again, everything was going starry then tentacle-y... then I figured I was NOT going to waste all that energy not getting clean, so I washed the nasty bits (cuz I was sweaty & STINKY LOL) & BELIEVE ME it was a struggle. Then I got the eff outta that shower. Somehow got my robe on (NOT exaggerating any of this) & grabbed a towel, put it on my pillow, & collapsed on my bed.
Thank you JESUS!
Called the Hubs. No answer. FML. LEFT A MESSAGE (which I hardly ever do on his phone). "Please come up & see me I feel faint." He never answered it. He was downstairs watching... Star Trek.
Then called my son. Answered on 2nd ring & came in to hold my hand. I was shaking like a leaf.
Oh well. That's only really 2 setbacks in a week & a half. Not too bad. Don't really know why I felt faint. I guess I pushed myself on the walk (it was about 1 1/2 miles). The moral of my story: Listen to your body. Don't push yourself too hard. You just had major surgery less than one week ago.
Stayed in bed the rest of the day. My son left to go back to college. My darling son. I'll miss him. Hopefully I'll feel stronger in a couple of weeks & I'll go visit him.
Ate well & got my supplements in. AND my protein! I'm rockin' the protein. I love my hair too much to let it fall out. I'm a Leo, after all!
Last Thursday at my surgeon's office, the nurse took out my stitches & put surgical glue & steri-strips on it. Doesn't look too bad. But all the steri-strips are now off. They came off in the shower or just fell off. Didn't get any instructions on them from the nurse at my surgeon's, so...
Put some Neosporin on my incision. Followed that with 3 big Band-Aids. It looked so cared-for! It feels better, too.
One more great thing that's happened to me since my open RNY: I haven't had one molecule of caffeine! I quit drinking coffee in 2009 because I was having trouble sleeping. But I had diet Coke when I went out to eat. No more! Wow! I am so cleaned out!
Going to watch one of my favorite shows, Midsomer Murders, & go to sleep. Have a great week!
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Time keeps on moving... on March 10, 2012 10:17 pm
Did you know that today marks 10% of the year gone? Isn't that incredible? Even though time is a manmade frame of reference, it still is amazing to me that on January 29, I was sitting on my tucus thinking I guess I'll always be "chubby." And the next night, I got the go-ahead from Aetna!
February was a complete blur of doctor's appointments & me straightening up my house. *snap* It was gone like that. Now it's March 10 & I've lost 13 pounds. Just awe-inspiring.
My son has been home from college & has been doing his rounds of the restaurants (Red Robin is one that was particularly painful for me to hear about!). He's also been cooking up a storm. He is a great cook. Don't know where he got THAT from. Last night he made homemade fried chicken, his first time making it. He soaked the chicken in buttermilk & spices for hours, then fried it.
Remember, I just had open RNY less than 2 weeks ago. One thing I've really noticed is that my sense of smell has changed. I don't know if it's because my palate has been cleansed or what, but some smells are extra-heavenly but others are heinous. For example, my first day home from the hospital, I staggered into my bedroom only to be overwhelmed by the cloying smell of... my body wash! I could smell it from the shower I'd taken FIVE DAYS previously.
So last night I went out to dinner with the hubs for my bestie's birthday. This was my second restaurant since my surgery. I was rather bracing myself. My BFF chose Famous Dave's for her dinner. YIKES. I'm not a huge barbecue fan, but I love their nachos (I'm a nacho HOUND... or was!). I ordered the salad with the shredded chicken on it & a side of spiced apples. The chicken was yummy & I chewed the living heck out of it. I didn't eat any of the raw veggies because I didn't want to get gas. I had a bite or two of the apples, but they didn't sit quite right on my tummy, so I left them on the table. And there was that lonely corn muffin. I know it was shocked I didn't devour it in minutes (after getting butter from the server, of course). I gave it to my BFF's hubby to take home. So... success!
When I got home, my son & his girl friend were in the kitchen getting ready to fry up the chicken. They're so cute together. I adore his GF. She was singing. She has the most fabulous voice... it's like an angel. She sings for her temple, & goes to a dramatic arts college in Boston. She also has tried out for American Idol.
I went up to my room to let the lovebirds have fun together. I was laying in bed & I heard this beautiful singing. GF was singing "Cockels & Mussels." *sniff* If you've never heard it, google or youtube it. I tell you, I am blessed.
Then the smell of the frying chicken came up the stairs. Oh lahd. no No NO. I like fried chicken, mind you. Not at the top of my list of faves because I'm overweight & usually avoided it (I ate nachos instead LOL). But this usually fabulous aroma just made me nauseated. I had just had 7/8 of a protein shake (yes, for all you protein wusses out there, I've been steadfastly getting my protein in since I got home from the hospital). That shake just curdled in my tummy.
But the feeling passed. Hopefully this hypersensitivity to scents will diminish as time goes by. Just like my waistline!
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