I  have not wrote for awhile.  Been concentrating on my journal.   Well, I went to the seminar.   Guess what they had canceled.  Now, if I was so spooked out, I know I would have gave up.   Well, I stayed persistant.  I called the next day.  The lady name Jenny (really sweet!) from the PNC Bariatric center, apologize and sent a packet so I can begin to completed.   So, I will be attending the next session(Hopefully won't be cancelled ha!ha!)   I met with my primary doctor,  Dr.  Brown, he is soooooo awesome.  I have been talking with him about my weight, for about 3 1/2 years.  I have tried so many diets and weight loss programs, it is unreal.  I even tried the stuff, that people have made up, that supposedly work for them.   I loose and then I regain back with a vengence!!!  

I have the most wonderful husband!!! I had to fight with him regarding my decision.  He is uncomfortable because of the risk.  I can truly say we breathe each other.   He has said many of times, he would not know what to do without me.   My teenager girls!!! 18 and 17 and then I have a little princess she is 5yrs old.  I look at her everyday and ask myself, how would she handle it with me not being here, because of my health.   I've had some embarrassing times in my life, not being able to ride at amusement parks because the bars will not close, not being able to sit in the same seat with my husband, because I am too wide!!,  And I am oh so tired of the comments" She has a beautiful face", "Her make-up is pretty".   Even, being qualified for a certain postion, the look(in the face) the personality and the voice, but have been picked over, because of my weight.  They try not to tell you, but you know, deep down inside.  The person they pick, just did not fit, but she is the right size.   Airplane, sooo uncomfortable.  Work place, I have to use the handicap stall, because I don't have to turn side ways to go in.  Among other things, that I wish not to go into.   But I am taking back control of my life and planning on living a very LONG and active life with my family.  I have ask God, before I leave here I want to experience being married and share having children with someone there at my side, and he has granted me that.   Now, I ask that he allow me to grow old and see my great great grand children.  I believe he will grant me that too. Bye Everyone!