To Find myself again and become the strong, healthy wm I know I am

Hi Everyone my name is Trish and I am 39 years old.  I have a really long life story that could literally be written into a soap opera.  I am a recovering addict of 13.5 years. I started using at the age of 12 to control my weight and it turned into a full blow addiction ot meth alot of the time to control mywieght.  Eventually it took control of me.
During that time I was married at 19, got pregnant at 19 and stayed clean by the grace of God during my preg.  However, my son was still born at 32 weeks.  He saved my life.  I was headed down a very dark road and his death was the first step toward Christ, though it took another 7 years.  I was in a very abusive marriage, verbally, mentally and physically.   However, the blessing in our marriage is my 18 year old daughter Kristen   I left him finally and started dating immediatley and got pregnant with the twins and ended up marring him due to the pregnancy.  That only lasted a year but stayed mairred for 4 years while he was in the military.  During this time my addiction got so bad I lost custody of my oldest daughter to my disease.  I gave her up for very selfish reasons.  I never saw the twins due to my partying either.  I finally bottom out in June of 1993 when I almost died during a long road trip.  My body shut down on me and I was reall scared.
I went to rehab and that is when Christ really started reaching out ot me.  I met him personally 2 months later through a friend in NA.  I accepted him into my heart in September 1993 but I was not done being rebellious.  I tried, thank the Lord for the Holy Spirit living in me it took me another 5 months of on and off using and losing my twins to thier grandparetns before I finally saw myself for what I was.  On Feb 13, 1994 I got clean for good.  I got the twins back 4 montsh later but it took 12 years to get my oldest back in my home.  Now she is with me and it has been such a blessing to share these last 3 years iwth her.,
I was married again 2 years into my recovery and my husband relasped and died May 15, 1999.  It was also abusive in a very mental, emotional and spiritual way.  I had moved out 6 months before his death, by the Lords provoking and God got me ready to be on my own for the first time in my life.  I went to abuse classed, anger management and counseling.  
9 months later the Lrod put the most increadible man in my life, my husband Darrin.  I had never met anyone like him, giving, kind loyal.  I met him over the internet in a Christian chat room and we were married 6 months later.  We have now been married almost 8 years and I am blessed everyday by him. 
He too is obese and a sever food addict and is looking toward having surgery after me.
I have such a blessed family, despite the last two years of severe backsliding, God has  remained so faithful as he alwasy does.
I am not fighting my way back up the mountain I slid down and it is 3 steps foward 2 steps back a lot of the time, but I have all the faith in the world the Lord will pull me up that maountain.  This surgery is a big part of it.  I have lived in isolation for the last 2 years not going to church or having friend due to my weight and pain I am in.  I am so excited to get me back, the fun loving, look forward to everyday, adventruous loving me.
I know I am in here, and despite the weight and I am trying to still be me at home, though sooooo hard.
I am greatful beyond words that you all are here, it's like having NA in my life again but I have Christians to talk to as well.
May the Lord bless each of you on your path and may that path rise up to meet each of you on this journey.
God bless,
Trish