Just wanted to post real quick on here.  I updated some things in my profile, and am having  pretty good day.  I need to get off this damn computer though if I'm ever going to get anything done.  Anyway, I'm such a scale whore...I can't stay off the stupid thing!  I said I was just going to weigh once a week, but I had to do it today.  Maybe I should say just on Mondays and Thursdays.  Yeah, I could live with that.  Well, I was still down over 2 lbs since Mon.  So that's over 6 lbs since last Thurs when I weighed for my 1 mo surgiversary.  I'm trying so hard not to get used to this, because I know it won't last forever.  But I just can't believe that the wt can just keep coming off like this.  I know I don't eat very much, and I'm walking a lot every day to get Janae from school, but man this is incredible.  I'm very happy with it, but also worry that I'm going to take it hard when the wt loss slows down, or God forbid just stops.  Hopefully I'll have a little while before that happens.  Right now I'm just trying to enjoy where I am, and keep working towards where I'm going. 

BTW, I'm addicted to SF popsicles!!

Well, I did it.  I made it a month and I'm still alive and kicking.  This past month has been very interesting for me.  It's so weird to be developing this new relationship with food.  I haven't even gotten to where I can just eat anything yet.  In fact today I was allowed to go on to soft foods.  That means I can add in pretty much anything I can cut w/a fork.  I had a piece of pizza for supper.  Probably not the healthiest choice, but it's what we had.  I didn't even finish the whole thing.  I think that's the best part of this progression...being able to start eating what the family is eating instead of having to be separate.  I'm trying to feed the kids better.  I took out all the white sugar & flour, and most of the groceries I bought this week were organic.  I don't intend to become a fanatic about it, but I'm trying to do better.  The kids are dealing with is pretty well.

OK, I'm getting off track.  What I really wanted to say about this process is that each food stage seemed like it would be great at the beginning, but of course by the end of the 2 wks on each of them I was so ready to move on.  Then I could try something new and found that it was more comfortable back at the previous stage.  So I've waivered a little bit each time I move on.  But I think this soft food stage is going to be good because I can get more protein in and not have to worry about trying to get in the protein shakes.  I see why they tell you to try samples because I feel like I bought a lot of that stuff and I'm not going to use it.  The protein bullets have such a terrible aftertaste I just can't take them.  I know some others really enjoy them, so maybe I'll find somebody to share them with.

I think that part of my success, or what I consider successful at 35 lbs down since the day of surgery, is that I keep right on moving.  I started out kind of slow on the treadmill, but now I'm pushing my 3 kids plus 2 daycare kids in an 80lb cart at least 40 minutes per day, sometimes 80 minutes.  I had this theory, and it's been seconded by a friend who I consider knowledgable in this area, that if I keep exercising it will help ward off stalls.  I don't really mind if my wt loss slows down a little from time to time if I'm readjusting.  I know that can happen.  But to go weeks w/o any wt loss would be discouraging for me.  So I'm glad for the most part I've been losing very consistantly.  Maybe that won't keep up, but I'm hoping if I keep up the strong exercises I will continue to do well.

Well, I'm having DH take my pix tonight.  I don't know when I'll start posting my before pix.  Probably when I have some really good afters.  What can I say, I'm a chicken.  In the meantime, I'm really learning how to deal w/this new tiny tummy, and finding it strange the way it's affecting the family.  DH asked me if I every regretted thtat he couldn't drink (been sober for over 12 yrs).  I said yes, I often wish we could or did go out for drinks w/friends on the weekend or just some nights during the week.  He could go out and it wouldn't bother him, but it's just not something we do.  Anyway, he said he's finding the same thing w/me & food.  We're very used to having snacks at night, and I was a MAJOR popcorn fanatic.  Now I just can't do that, and really don't want to.  So he's also having to adjust to not having me prepare all these unhealthy snacks anymore.  The difference was he was able to just take one if I baked something good, and I would eat the whole pan.  And the kids are still facinated w/my scars.  They have to look at them almost every day.  Thank God they're almost gone!  So glad I can swim again!!  

Yesterday was my one week followup appt w/Dr. Schoen.  Technically I was 9 days out, but I guess that doesn't really matter.  Everything went really well, and I finally got my drain out.  Man I hated that damn thing!!  I'll be happy to never have another one of those, although I know w/plastics I'll have them again.  Anyway, it's been a pretty good week.  I'm starting to feel a little more normal all the time.  I do still get really tired during the day, but I'm hoping that will pass.  The kids are facinated w/my incisions...they're so weird!  And I'm on to pureed foods.  YYYAAAAYYY!!  I never thought I would be so happy to have a tablespoon of mashed potatoes or refried beans for supper.  And the weird thing is that tiny bit of food not only takes away my physical hunger, but it's really helping w/the cravings in my head too.  I'm only on the first day, so it's hard to say how long it will last.  But I'm going to enjoy it while I can!

As far as pounds...according to my dr's office I was down about 23lbs yesterday from my pre-op appt exactly 2 wks before.  According to my Wii Fit this morning I was down 25lbs from what I weighed on there exactly 2 wks ago today.  Either way, I'm thrilled!  I know some of it was recent wt gain, so I figured it would come off fast.  I just didn't think it would be this fast.  I'm bracing for the stall though.  If it never hits, I'll just be that much happier.

Well, I'm officially sleeved.  I went in on Mon the 7th for surgery at 3:15, but I think it was actually until closer to 5 (they were running a little behind).  I was doing really great waiting until, out of the blue while I was in the pre-op room, I just started to cry.  I don't know exactly why, but I'm sure it was a combination of being completely exhausted (trying to get two 2-yr olds to bed in their toddler beds for over a month, w/litle luck), hungry (2 days w/o food), and just overwhelmed to be there.  I feel like I've been dreaming of this day for over 5 months, so it was hard to beleive it had finally come.  I know that some peole wait a lot longer, have to spend more time on their liquid diet, etc, but for me, it was a struggle just the same.  So I think all the nervousness that I wan't feeling about the procedure itself just  came to the surface.  Fortunately, DH was there and very supportive.  He started talking to me about different aspects of his job, which I usually don't find at all interesting, but kept my mind of the surgery.  

I don't remember too much after being wheeled down the hall to the operating room until I woke up in recovery.  Without freaking out anyone who hasn't had their procedure, I can say that was a very scary experience.  The only other time I was put under was for a D&C, and when I woke up DH was there and I had no pain.  This was totally different.  I didn't know the post-op nurse who was helping me, and I was in a lot of discomfort.  I didn't feel like I could communicate because my throat was so sore from the tube, and I was so ITCHY all over.  It really sucked.  But once I got moved to my own room (about 30 min later), and on my morphine drip, I was a much happier camper.  

Since Mon night I've had some ups & downs.  Yesterday I woke up feeling great.  I did get up & walk about 10:30pm on Mon night, only because I asked to.  I walked a few times yesterday, and am up now at 4 am because I can't sleep, walking and typing.  I don't have any problems moving, but I'm still a bit uncomfortable.  My stomach is starting to feel like I did a bunch of sit-ups (something I've heard described on here before), I feel like I have bad heartburn (there was an issue w/my insur coverng my prescrip for that med, which I'll have to clear up today), a bit sick to my stomach, and still a little itchy.  I feel a little better all the time, but I'm so glad DH is home w/me this week, because I'm in no shape to be taking care of myself, let alone 3 kids.  I'm grateful to be on the mend, but also REALLY looking forward to getting his drain out and getting to work my sleeve like I should be able to.  Right now I'm having a hard time figuring out what to eat, and how much.  I have all my dietary guidelnes from the nut, but it's a little different when you actually have to follow them, and figure out just how much you can eat before you feel sick, when you are "full" and all that.  Sounds easy on paper, or a computer screen, but it's a little different in real life.  

So I'm very glad to be home, and done w/the surgery.  I will say that when I woke up on Tues my first thought was "Oh, today I get to have my surgery."  But then I realized where I was, and remembered that I had already had the surgery.  I felt literally like a kid on Christmas morning.  Like I had been given the most wonderful gift ever!!  So thank you to my terrific surgeon & his staff (especially Sara), to all you wonderful people for being here for me every day, and to God for putting this all together for me.  You all ROCK!!

...until tomorrow afternoon.  I check in to the hospital at 1:15, so I have all morning to get stuff done, and obsess, and worry, etc.  I'm just not feeling very nervous about the surgery itself, just about being away from my kids.  I always worry when I leave them w/somebody else.  But I know they'll be in good hands, so I don't know what my problem is.  Right now I'm just making my way through my one day of liquid diet, and it SUCKS ROCKS.  I know I shouldn't bitch, because many people have to do this for much longer, but I just think it totally sucks and I can't wait to get put under so I don't have to think about food anymore.  We've actually been very busy today, getting things ready so there isn't so much to do when we get home.  And while that's helping me keep my mind off eating, it's also making me more hungry.  Glad it's almost bed time!  Just wanted to get a post in before the big day.  I can't wait to get started on this journey.