I'm 28 years old and I've been the Big Girl all my life. I got use to it really. I created a whole persona around being this big diva. Everything had to be big. Big hair, false lashes, clevage, four inch pumps. I always told myself if its cute they won't think what size is she wearing. I created this voluptous sex kitten on the outside, but on the inside I've beendepressed and insecure for longer than I can remember. I've always felt I couldn't leave the house with out looking like a magazine cover because I didn't want people to see the "Fat" me. But honestly its not working anymore. I've struggled with the descion to have the surgery for years now. I've done every diet and accompanying pill since I was 13 years old. I've battled bulimia, compulsive over eating, and depression since I was a young girl. I guess I got use to this life and couldn't see any other way for myself. But this isn't how I want the rest of my life to be.

So when a girl at work told me she was having the surgery i decieded that I'm going to change the thing about myself that I don't like. Not for vanity but for my mental and physical health. I had an interview a while back for a accounting position with an elevator company. When I showed up for the interview the hiring manager made me walk up three flights of steps to get to his office. By the time I sat down in front of him I was sweating and fighting off an asthema attack. I was so embarrased. Needless to say I didn't get the job. The sad part is I feel like he was getting his kicks making the fat girl climb all those steps. If you could have seen the look on his face as I struggled to catch my breath. It took everything in me to finish that interview and not run out of his office. I said to myself right then never again will I let my weight be a barrier in my life. So here I am. Excited, afraid, curious, hoping and praying that everything works out. My approval letter just came in the mail on Friday and I'm excited about scheduling my surgery. Wish me luck.