10-13-06

Hi all so I am going to my pre-op visit on 10-20-06. I will get the time of surgery at this visit (the day is already scheduled). I am nervous because I get blood work, a chest x-ray and an EKG done this day and I can't help thinking what if something comes back bad. My employer will not be covering this surgery on the insurance next year so it is a now or never for me because I don't plan on getting a different job anytime soon. I would have to say I started my WLS approval journey in June of this year and was finished with my portion and had approval by October which is not bad at all. I will be moving to a new place with in the next couple weeks and also preparing for surgery...talk about hectic.. I also started exercising for AT LEAST 25 min a day on September 30th...other then yesterday (and I got up at 5:30am today to do the video) I have done EVERY day!! I do the Suzanne Cox "The Fix" video...it is aerobic, dance and then firming. Each section is about 25 minutes and I don't do the dance one because I live upstairs and don't want my neighbor to think there is an earthquake especially at 5:30am. I do faithfully the aerobic part and a portion of the firm part which is much harder then it looks... I recommend the aerobic part for those of you that feel you can't move around as good! There isn't a ton of jumping in it and it is fairly low impact and DOES make your heart rate go up and sweat. At first I could barely keep up with the moves but now I got it down to a science...Arms and all! I will update once I have my pre op visit!

10-14-06

Hi all....so I know I said I didn't have much to say until after my pre op appointment but something I want to add.  I am actually having moments of total anxiety!  First of all the company I work for is having a computer conversion the weekend of October 28th so I will have to devote my life to my job, second we are moving in November and in order for me to help we must do this the first weekend or second weekend.. and since I will have pre surgery orders...like the bowl clean... I am assuming moving would be a bad idea that day... third, is the surgery itself.. Did I mention I am scared to death..(that may be the wrong terminology to use..lol) I keep praying for courage... I think it is slowly coming to me but still very scared!  I still believe this is the right decision but all this time to reflect on the *PAIN* everyone talks about is making me VERY nervous... even the people that say that have a huge pain tollerance are in tremendous pain after.. it's like the birthing videos people show you while you are pregnant... does that not freak one out!!!  I know somewhere deep down inside I will be ok and you know that saying.."that which does not kill you only makes you stronger" I just need to keep praying and believing in myself!  TTFN :) 

10-18-06

Hello again...what can I say I am a talker.  So I have been trying to concentrate on other things right now like work...etc and that is taking some of the edge off about the surgery.  I posted for some courage on the message board and a bunch of fellow OH members replied with their support and information which was a HUGE!!! help!  Everyone on this site is so helpful and friendly!  So tomorrow is my last day of work this week so I can travel to Green Bay to see Dr. Kemmerling..... I hope all goes well.  I am fairly tired today because my daughter woke me up at 3:30 am telling me her privates hurt and she felt like she had to go potty...told her ok go potty...she did but then said she still felt like she had to go...OH>>>NO>>>> I am thinking I may have a bladder or urinary tract infection on my hands so at lunch today I am hitting Wal Mart for cranberrry juice, water and anything else I can find that may clear one up with out having to put her on antibiotics.  Poor kid.... she is at home with dad right now who I have instructed to call me right away if she seems like she is suffering... She fell back asleep after I have her a warm bath and cuddled with her so I didn't want to wake her before I left for work. Well that's about all the drama for today so take care all! 

10-20-06

 So I made it... back from all the testing!  They had to poke me 5 times to get blood since I had to do the no food or drink for a while I hadn't drank much since the night before and was dehydrated.  Both arms and my left hand are a bit sore but I survived... so I have to be at the hospital by 5:00 am on November 13th... crazy that this is really happening.  I still feel like it is sort of a dream.  I got a bunch of samples for high protein food items today too.  Hopefully they won't taste bad... I don't know how long it will be before I get my results...oh yeah and I still have to have an ultra sound of my gal bladder taken to see if I have any stones.  Dr said that if I do he will take it out for sure and if I don't it is up to me.  I think I want it done though since I am having open and he will be right there anyway.  Sorry if my thoughts seem jumbled but I have a lot going through my head right now.  Oh, to update on Jaydehn ...she did have a urninary tract infection and is now on antibiotics (took her in yesterday) because she hadn't gotten much better.  Well take care!

10-25-06

So, I got a sad call yesterday from the doctor's office... there was a misunderstanding between the doctor and his nurse of how long his vacation will be and they had to re schedule my surgery date from November 13th to November 20th... I know it is only a week but the Green Bay Packers are playing in Green Bay that weekend so we are having a super hard time getting a hotel room for myself, my mom and my grandma the night before and my mom and grandma the night of.  My significant other will be staying with me in the room the night before but will drive home the evening of my surgery because...well... someone from the household has to make some money!  It is just so frustrating thinking you have everything set then BAM it changes...not to mention I may spend my Turkey day in the hospital... I know I can't eat any of the food but I was at least thinking I could see some family I haven't seen in a while... guess maybe it is for the best...they'd probably give me a cold or something... so yeah I am still coping... all my friends say that is one more week I can eat "real" food...(like after the surgery I will be eating plastic or something)...lol TTFN  Heather

11-16-2006

The liquid diet is not as bad as I thought it would be granted I only have to go seven days when a lot of people have to go 10+ (thanking god for small favor).  I am really super scared and have been constantly dreaming about the surgery.  I could almost cry right now.  I hope that everything goes well since this is the biggest risk I have ever taken in my life.  I don't really know what to say other than I have done more soul searching with in the past 8 months then I think I have done in my 30 years combined.  My daughter has been informed and knows that I am having surgery because of my weight even though she is only 4.  Some of you out there will not agree with me letting her know but if anything happens I want her to remember the fight I had with my weight, health and food so she does not follow the same path I did.  She really is the sweetest little girl!  She asked me if I could die the other day and I said yes and then said the hardest thing I have ever had to say in my life... that if mommy dies and goes to heaven I will still always be with her watching her and loving her from there.  (oh jeeze I am crying right now.) I know I could write her a note but I want to say that I love her and even if I am no longer on this planet I always will, that my love for her is stronger then life and time.  She knows I love her to bits and pieces and it is great hearing she loves me that much too!  Well I have to go now and take my mind of this crazy situation so hopefully you will hear from me again on the loosers side!!                                                 bless, Heather

2-2-07

Hi everyone!!  It has been three and a half months since I had surgery and per the freight scale at work I weigh between 280 and 280.5 which is 62lbs lost to date since surgery.  I am not going to say it has all been easy becuase it definenlty was NOT in fact parts of it were total hell!  I had to be reopened the day after my original surgery because of symptoms of a leak which turned out to be a staph infection (most expensive one ever) but I look at the fact that I didn't have a leak as a VERY good thing.  I haven't lost much hair which is also good and I have a ton more energy but most important I RESPECT MYSELF AGAIN!! I think that and the NO MORE DIABETES are the best two gifts Dr. Kemmerling (who is great by the way) has given me through this surgery.  I still think back to "before" the surgery and remember how I felt ... sad, embarassed and out of energy and I do realize I was the same Heather inside as I am now.  It is this weird journey going through WLS because you don't just fight your weight demons you fight your emotional demons too.  It is such a fast ride sometimes I still feel like I have to step aside and catch my breath but as soon as I do I am right back at it!  My friends and family have been pretty great over all.  I had my sister tell me I am more snotty now which made me feel like a big sack of you know what so I asked some of the people I work with what they thought.  They all said I am the same Heather except for my boss he said I am more cocky but that is because I have more confidence and he said it was a good thing so I don't know why my sister is being like this...I am sure she will get over it soon enough. (hopefully)  Oh, yeah and my daughter is loosing a bit of weight too because she sees mommy eat such small amounts and so helathy that she is following my lead!!!!  That is another WONDERFUL gift Dr. Kemmerling's WLS has given me. 

2-11-07

I just have to say that I feel like I am starting to live the fairy tale part of WLS.  I am starting to feel beautiful again!  I am starting to see my outside match my inside and I can't even believe it.  It feels almost like a dream, like it didn't really happen at all and I will wake up one day back to fatter, unhealthy and miserable!  Then I realize nah...this IS FOR REAL!!

3-6-07

I don't really have anything exciting to say except I had a "dumping" inncident recently... my first and it was not pleasant.  I dry heaved so hard I broke blood vessels in my eyes and forhead.  The heaving only lasted about 20 minutes and whole episode about an hour.  I will tell you it was AWFUL!!  I will admit maybe I shouldn't have had 1/2 fish sandwich with 1/4 bun from McDonald's but it was one of those times you just do it.  Yeah next time maybe the fruit and nut thing or a salad.  My nutritionist told me I shouldn't eat lettuce yet but I am going on 3 1/2 months out and have had no problems with strictures or anything like that.  I have to chew everything SUPER well or my pouch gets REALLY mad so the lettuce is paste by the time it goes down anyway... and I can get chicken or turkey on it for some protein ... well enough about me crabbing.