11-2007: Hello! This is my first "post". I am not sure what to put in "my story" so I am adding what I wrote to my surgeon to explain why I am pursuing weight loss surgury. I am completely self pay since my insurance specifically EXCLUDES all forms of weight loss surgery. So, you know I am serious about it since I paying for it completely by myself!

I am pursuing weight loss surgery at this time because I am scared. I am 52 years old and have enough weight-related illnesses - Diabetes, Hypertension, High Cholesterol, Sleep Apnea, Urge Incontinence, Necrobiosis Lipoidica - to take many years off my life, and I am getting to the point where that doesn't leave me very many years left to be alive. THAT IS SCARY! I am very upset with myself that I have not been able to lose weight and keep it off and that I have to resort to surgery. However, it is time for me to face facts, and the fact is that I need medical assistance to achieve true weight loss.

I have been overweight, to varying degrees, my entire adult life. While I have dieted many times and sometimes lost weight, I have never been able to keep it off. The "last straw" came this year. In late 2005 I was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes and that frightened me because I watched both of my parents suffer with it before they passed away. In January 2006 I started Weight Watchers once again (I literally cannot count how many times I have joined) and over the course of the next year I lost 98 lbs., going from 381 pounds to 283 pounds. I was so thrilled to have lost so much weight and felt so good and then, as always, I don't know what happened but since Christmas 2006 I have gained almost all of that back. This made me realize that I cannot do it on my own - I NEED HELP. I know that I will still have to watch what I eat after surgery and will have to do so for the rest of my life, but I am hoping that the surgery will help give me tools to keep the weight off successfully.

My surgeon asked for 3 reasons for entering a Surgical Weight Loss Program...well there are so many it is hard to pick just 3, but here goes:

1. I would like to regain as much of my health as possible. A number of the medical problems I currently have, as mentioned above, may go away if I truly and finally lose weight.
2. I would like to regain the ability to take care of myself. Right now, I have difficulty getting around. I cannot walk for 5 minutes without needing to stop and rest, or at least lean against something. There is no way I could walk around the block without stopping numerous times. I cannot go up more that 5 or 6 stairs without getting out of breath. I must hold on to the stair rail for dear life in order to climb up or down the stairs. It is hard for me to get into or out of a car. I can barely buckle my seat belt. I have trouble getting up from the toilet and most chairs and couches are nearly impossible to get out of. I have to sit down and rest after I have carried an armload of laundry from one room to another. I have many personal hygiene issues that are a challenge for me to deal with. It is difficult for me to turn myself over in bed, with out sitting up. If I should be in a fire or other emergency, for example, I don't think I could save myself. Recently, when the garage elevator was out at work, I had to flag down a policeman on the street, who very kindly drove me up to the fifth floor of the garage where my assigned parking spot is. In short, I am very close to actually being disabled, and I know this will only get worse as I get older unless I make a positive change in my life. In fact, my 87-year-old uncle gets around better than I do!
3. I would like to look "normal" and be a "normal" size. I don't expect to look like I did as a teenager or a beauty queen, nor do I have any desire to do so. However, I would like to not feel like people are looking at me with pity or disgust. When the elevator door opens and the elevator is already full, I would to not have people look horrified that I might try to get on (under such circumstances, I always wait for the next elevator). I would like to go into a restaurant, office, store, doctor's office, or just about anywhere, without worrying if there will be a chair big enough for me. The last time I flew, when I was at my highest weight, I had to buy tickets for 2 seats. I have had to ask for a seat belt extension on planes for the past 10 years. I would like to go into any store and be able to buy clothes. Right now, I wear a size 34 or a 5X. This is the highest size in manufactured clothing in the US and as far as I know there is literally only one store that goes up to that size (I believe you can order custom made clothes in larger sizes).