ObesityHelp

6-2-02 Went and had a physical last week just to make sure my body was ok. My results came back good. I don't have diabetes (yet) although I was sure I did b/c I am always thirsty and go the bathroom a lot (2-3 times @ night). My cholesterol was only slightly elevated, which surprised me and I have a normal thyroid.

6-5-02 Bought Carnie Wilson's book 2 days ago haven't been able to put it down. I feel like I am reading my own life story except that I am a LOUSY singer and don't have a famous Beach Boy for a dad. However, as I read it, I am starting to question the open vs. Lap procedure. I am having Open and always thought it was the safer of the two, but the book makes it sound the other way.

6-9-02 Very bad weekend.  Thinking of backing out of surgery? I came across a Webpage that basically says that with the surgery, your life span is reduced to 10-15 years due to osteoporosis and other complications. FREAKING OUT! Website is http://gastricbypass.netfirms.com 

6-10-02 Made an appointment to see Dr. Leitman again. Need to have some questions answered about malabsorption, liver/kidney failure, osteoporosis, Life span and compilations. Really don't know what I am going to do. 

6-13-02 Had a long chat with my sister the other night about all of this and my fears. I can't believe she actually thinks I haven't tried hard enough; she thinks I should try harder and thinks I could actually lose 150 Lbs on my own. Who is she kidding? Sometimes, these "normal size" people really piss me off with their BS. Really now, who does she think I am, Susan Powder? 

6-17-02 Did a lot of soul searching this weekend and talking with my husband about this surgery. I still have a lot of concerns. I am bringing my mom to the Support Group on Thursday Night @ Lenox Hill. Hopefully, that will put me at ease and have her on my side. I think once she is on my side, a lot of the insecurity and anxiousness will subside. Also, made an appt with Dr. Leitman for Tuesday the 25th to address all this questions floating in my head and making me doubt myself. 

6-21-02 Went to the Monthly Support Group at Lenox Hill last night made all the difference. Not only did my mom come up from Philly to attend with me, but I also got a chance to ask some much needed questions and also meet some really great girls. I was able to open up and talk candidly about my fears about the surgery. I am convinced that I will be doing this and feel comfortable for my decision and now just have the waiting game. 

6-25-02 Had a follow-up consult with Dr. Leitman and there is no backing out now. I made my pre-op appointments for Monday, Aug 12th. I am all set. Now I just have to wait.