1-3-03 Saw Dr Leitman today. Love that man. He said I am doing GREAT and "I should stop comparing myself to others"! Also, suggested I not weigh myself so often (tell me something I don't already know...LOL)! Anyway, holding steady at 226 (down 78.5lbs from 304.5). Blood work is GREAT! Wants to see me in 6 months (July, WOW!). Hopefully, by July, I will be at goal (150) or damn close to it! Tomorrow is my sister's 30th bday, we are throwing her a big party, can't wait to see a lot of my family and friends who I haven't seen in ages (they also don't know about the surgery)!
1-5-03 Had the party for my sister last night down in Philadelphia (surprise 30th) and let me tell you all the "oh my god, look at you", "you look fantastic", "I can't believe it", "naw, come on, you don't need to lose another 70", "how did you do it", "wow, you LOOK amazing!" comments I received. I was dressed head to toe in the typical NYC outfit - BLACK. And, I think it was quite slimming. Now, while I do feel quite "petite" compared to my old self, I still felt as if I was the fattest person in the room. The party was at the Manayunk Brewery Company in Manayunk (Philly), PA. We had the upstairs bar (private) from 7-10pm and then it becomes a club after that. I saw a friend from college and some of her friends that I vaguely new from college (Millersville Univ). There were scores and scores of really young girls in all these hip hugging tiny clothes and wouldn't you know that STILL after losing just shy of 80lbs, I still felt like people were looking at me and saying "look at that fat cow"....I know I need to work on this self image thing (that is new year's resolution #1 for this year). Anyway, had a wonderful time, my sister looked wonderful and so happy. It was a huge success and I was pleased! Now, tomorrow starts the hard part. 10 days till I am 5 months post op and 45 days till I am 6 months, so, tomorrow, I am kicking it into FULL GEAR! No carbs and more exercise and more water. I am GOING TO LOSE THE 21 Lbs by 2-15! I am going to do it, positive affirmation here. I want to do it and I will. Also, two of my friends are having surgery this week! They are in my prayers!
1-7-03 Down another 2lbs to 224. Feeling very tired and run down lately. Maybe it is the weather, but, I think I am getting the flu again, my voice and throat have been very sore this week. Getting a new nutritionist next week, looking forward to actually having a game plan with my meals! I feel better when I eat a more rounded meal, but I lose better when I eat almost entirely protein! Went to visit my friend, Joyce, in the hospital tonight and last night. She had surgery on Monday the 6th. She is doing well. As I watched her in that bed, I couldn't help but remember myself laying there some 5 months ago, brought back a lot if memories. Looking back, I never thought I would be where I am now.
1-9-03 Last night, for the first time in 2 years, I started to play volleyball again. In high school, I was Varsity all 4 yrs and even had potential offer's for college, however, I always heard "u will need to lose a little weight if you want to be serious about this thing"...Anyway, in NYC, there is a league, NY Prof Vball League. They have 300 some odd teams and I used to play religiously when I first moved here in 1997. I played every season and also on weekends. However, I haven't plays since 2000 for many reasons but more specifically b/c of my weight gain. Well, I went to the open scrimmage last night, with my girl Rosy, to hook up with a team. I always hated this b/c they reminded me of grade school gym class when someone would always be picked last b/c of the way he or she looked! Well, within a short time, this guy (who liked the way I played) asked me to join his team! And, Rosy and I also got on another team together. So, I am psyched. I will be playing 2 nights a week! I was diving all over the court, jumping up and down (still not tall enough at 5'5 to block the ball), but, I felt good. NO, I FELT AMAZING!
1-15-03 5 mos post-op, have had the flu for 2 wks, dtr SUGGESTED I wait to work out till all the flu is gone. He said that is why I relapsed from Thanksgiving because I went back to the gym while still sick! Will wait till next Monday. Weight is somewhere around 220lbs.
1-18-03 I just had to post this...I was just out shopping at Ann Taylor and I bought a Large Shirt and a size 16 pants. DID U HEAR ME, SIZE 16 PANTS! We all know there is a difference in size between 16 @ Lane Bryant and other Plus store...a 16 from a REGULAR store is SMALLER! I can't friggin belief it...I started crying in the dressing room!
1-20-03 Got my ass back to the gym today. I have 23 days till my 6 month aniv and boy do I have my work cutout for me. I weighed in at 218lbs. So, I am down 87.5lbs. I have another 12.5lbs to lose before the 15th of February. Everytime I thing this tool has begun to fail me, the scale moves again and I feel reassured! It amazes me how much I can eat sometimes and some of the choices I make can be poor! I don't dump and I also don't have a problem w/ alcohol, so, I need to make good choices. The sugar, sweets, etc that’s easy. I just don't do them. But, I go out with friends and I miss having a glass of wine or a drink. I haven't had the wine yet, but, a friend of mine filled me in with a little secret...READY, VODKA HAS NO CARBS! 1 SHOT = 97 CALORIES, 0 FAT AND 0 CARBS! Now, if they only had Crystal Light on tap at the bars & Clubs...."Excuse me, Bartender, Can I have a vodka wits a splash of raspberry ice crystal light"...LOL, I don't think so! Anyway, I also think I need to stay away from so much red meat. I need to eat more chicken and seafood. I always get my protein in, I exceed 100g per day, and however, my calories and fat have been on the rise. I am meeting with a new Nutrionist, Nicole, around 3pm today, so, hopefully, she will kick my butt into gear. She is $200/YEAR and I can see her as much as I want. Good Thing, I may need it. Oh, and my husband's friends girlfriend (did you catch all that), she told my hubby on Friday night that she lost 20lbs and "didn't have to use surgery to do it"...I think I will clock her next time I see her!
1-21-03 Saw my Nutrionist yesterday. For those post-ops who have NEVER seen a Nutrionist or haven't kept up with the relationship. One thing to remember, to be successful long term, you need exercise, support (from groups, family and people on this site) and a balanced lifestyle. I got a ton of emails from a recent Q&A Answer I posted about seeing my Nutrionist last week. She is the Nutrionist for Drs Roslin, Kurian and Leitman @ Lenox Hill in NYC. I am a little over 5 mos post-op, and thought I would share Nicole's words of wisdom (and save y’all the CA$H)...At 5-6 mos, we should be at 1100 calories. We should also be taking (at a MINIMUM a Multi-Vitamin, Calcium Citrate and B-12). Keep in mind that although there is much debate on carbs and milk, etc. A lb is STILL LOST BY ELIMINATING 3500 CALORIES FROM YOUR DIET! With that said, here is what SHE feels I should be eating on a daily basis at 5-6 mos out: Starches (2-3 svgs/day), Fruits (1-2 svgs/day), Milk (1 svg/day), Vegetables (3-4 svgs/day), Fat List (2-3 svgs/day), Meat/Meat Substitute (4-6 svgs/day). There are also a ton of Free foods (i.e.. condiments, ketchup, mustard, creamer, gum, jello, etc)...If anyone who is as far out as me (5-6 mos) and would like a copy of what she gave me, please email me and I will share this with you. I can fax it to you or drop a copy in the mail. Please keep in mind that this "TOOL" is just a "TOOL" and behavior modification is KEY! I want to eat right now and learn to eat right now, so that when I am out of my prime mos (up to 14), I can maintain and live a happy, healthy life!
1-23-03 We had our Nat'l Sales Conf last night @ the Wall Street Regent. The last conf was in July when I was 1 month before surgery and tipping the scales @ 300lbs. Last night FELT SO FABOULOUS! I wore a size 16 suit (that was big) and my partner in the field walked by me 2X without recognizing me! Everyone in the field (except 1) is male and most of them were like "did you do something different with your hair, I can't put my finger on it"....You know men, NEVER do they ever say something about weight, they have been TRAINED! A bunch did come up and were like, "WOW, you look wonderful"...I felt amazing, I held my own, I felt confident and I felt like people were looking at me and listening to me for different reasons then before! I am trying to get promoted, so, I think it was a GIANT step in the right direction. It continues again tonight and all day tomorrow! What to wear, what to wear? I was also VERY worried about the 3 course dinner & cocktails. I had a vodka tonic at the cocktail hour, 1 DRINK THANK YOU (No carbs in Vodka) and ate a few bites of my salad, 1/3 - 1/2 of my filet mignon (all my carrots) and 1/4 or the Chocolate Mousse (I don't dump)....It felt AWESOME!
1-26-03 Well, it is January 26th. I am 20 days from being 6 mos post-op. I have a lot to accomplish this next 3 wks; I want to lose another 12.5lbs to reach my 100. I got my period 2 days ago, so, soon as it is over, I should drop a few lbs. I have 3 milestones coming up: (1) 6 months aniv on 2-15 (2) losing 100lbs and (3) being under 200lbs (18lbs away)...I was out for lunch with my girlfriend Berta yesterday and we were discussing this surgery and I was saying my next milestone (4) will be when I know longer fit into clothes @ Lane Bryant! I will be sooooooo happy! Tops are already too BIG, but, bottoms I am 16/18. I went into Talbot’s Woman the other weekend and the lady said, "your size is the other side", meaning the Regular size, I laughed to myself! Still don't have any hair loss, very excited about that and my skin looks good. Wish I could say the same about my teeth. They used to be so pearly white, now the enamel is all gone (or so it appears)...They look like crap! OH, LAST THING, when I weigh 199, I am going to start taking horseback riding lessons on the
Upper West Side . I haven't been on a horse since I was 21...I stopped riding when I got heavy! I have rode since I was 6, so, that’s what, 15 yrs? I really miss it!!