heathercross

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4-1-03 HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY! Thanks for all the posts and emails about the nasty email I got yesterday. I don't know why I let it bother me so. I guess when you get an email from someone you don't know its one thing, but, when you get an email attacking you from someone who is in your community and attends your monthly support groups, it stings a little more. I appreciate everyone on this site and the value they add to AMOS and my life. I have gotten so much from you all. After the horrible day I had at work yesterday, I met up with a friend, who I had met through this site...we got together and chatted for hours. I never would have met her and she never would have been part of my life it this didn't bring us together. As much as I was there for her in her time of need, she did the same for me as well.

4-3-03 Going to the Phillies Home Opener tomorrow in Philadelphia . Will be thrilled to sit in the seat COMFORTABLY! What little things make me happy!

4-4-03 I am a WRECK...On Nov 9th, I bought myself a present, I got my little bulldog, Layla, at the time she was 3 mos old just as I was 3 mos post-op. Layla was born on 8-7, I week before my "re-birth". I am a WRECK, b/c my little bully has been in the doggie hospital since Tues with pneumonia. She has full fledged pneumonia ...she has been in the doggie hospital since Tue @ 8am. On Monday, she started coughing, kind of like a cat trying to a fur ball up, it was like once every few hrs, then Monday night around 3am, it started every 5-10 min and she had green snot coming out of her nose, I took her to my vet (its 24 hr) and she had a high temp, was totally lethargic and had a very moist cough, they also did x-rays and she has pneumonia ! I am devasted! They finally took her out of isolation today and I saw here for the first time. She did recognize me. I lay in the crate/room they had her in. She gave me a bunch of kisses, but, she isn't well. Up until today, her temp had gone away, but, today it came back, the dr said the x-rays were still bad and her cough is still bad and moist sounding, but, her blood count was normal, whatever that means, so, $2000 later, she is still in the hospital and I don't know when she is coming home, My hubby is beside himself, he is mad at me for getting a dog b/c his heart hurts some much. He has fallen completely in love with her! The worst part, I am headed to Indiana & Kentucky for 2 wks on Sunday, and I am afraid I she will die while I am gone!

4-5-03 Well, I am at 198, down 107lbs in 7 1/2 mos. Skipped right over 199, FINALLY below 200. I thought I would be more excited. I guess I would be if my little bully (bulldog) Layla was home from the hospital. An update, Layla is 8 mos old, born 1 wk before my RNY. She is in really bad shape, it breaks my heart! Please, God, let her be ok. I am so afraid she is going to die! I am headed to Indianapolis tomorrow for a 2 wk business trip. I will be in Indy, Bloomington, Lexington & Louisville . I am also going to take a new pic tonight when I head out with my girlfriend and send it into Kricket while I am gone! Oh, last thing, I found an old instamatic camera left over form our wedding, Nov 2001, I got the pics developed, they were of me @ the spa the day of my wedding, BOY WAS I HUGE! Beautiful Bride BUT HUGE AS A HOUSE! Oh, one more thing, my BMI is 32.0, so, I am now only "very overweight"! WHOA!

4-10-03 Its been a while. I am in the Midwest traveling on biz, I am in Indiana & Kentucky , haven't been eating to "healthy". The first 2 days, I got up each morning and worked out, nothing the last 2 days. In fact, as I sit here, I am sipping a Choc shake from Steak 'n Shake (Bad, I know).I have also had a few too many wines this week, we did a lot of entertainning and I felt "safer" with the red wine than mixed drinks. I feel a lot more self confident now than I did traveling a year ago, its amazing how 107lbs and a size 14 suit makes you feel. I am flying back to NYC tomorrow, I miss my hubby & my dog! Layla just got out of the hospital from having pneumonia for the past 2 wks. Thank God! She was one sick, little sick bully!

4-15-03 8 month Anniversary, weighing 198, down a total of 107lbs and have 48lbs to goal. I sent pictures to Kricket Sunday a week ago. Still not posted! I am out in Kentucky/Indiana again this week (Lexington, Louisville, Indy, Lafayette, Kokomo ). As much as I like traveling and meeting my brokers in person, this wholesaling thing is wreaking havoc on my diet. I have been drinking wine almost every night, eating a lot of bad food and not drinking enough water (because we are in a car and can't run to the bathroom). Here is an example of all I ate today: 20 oz Zero Carb Isopure (5am), McD's SEC Biscuit (10am), Fajita Chicken Salad from Chili’s (2 p.m.) (1/3 of salad and all the chicken), 2 glasses of wine (w/ dinner) & 4 oz of filet mignon and a prawn and 1 bite of frog's legs (5-8pm). I did work out at the hotel gym when we checked into the hotel. I am know going to turn in for the night, before I do, I am going to soak in the whirlpool tub/Jacuzzi. LOVE IT!

4-16-03 I am currently in Indianapolis and I just got back from shopping at J Crew & Gap. God, I love shopping even more now than I did before. I was walking around the mall and I have never seen so many FAT people in my life. I don't know if I notice them more now or if people are getting so much heavier. I was also @ Cracker Barrel in Lafayette this morning and I counter about 20 OBESE women and men. Sometimes I want to walk up to them and shake 'em and say, "what are you doing, your killing yourself" and others I realize that if someone had done this to me, I would have smacked the hell out of them". Only u can take control of your life. Flying back to NYC on Friday the 18th, THERE ARE SOME MAJOR CHANGES GOING ON IN MY LIFE THAT I CANNOT YET REVEAL! Will tell all on Monday once I return to work! Can't wait! Oh, WHERE IS MY NEW PIC? I sent it in 2 wks ago?

4-22-03 All this posting about eating the wrong food, let me tell you, I finished off 1/2 pint of Eddy’s Dreamery Choc PB last night around 2am when I couldn't sleep. I know, bad heather. If the food is in the house, I am going to eat it. I never ever liked ice cream this much pre-op, just since surgery. I did work out 50 min on the bike yesterday, 18 miles and sweated up a storm and was back there again this am @ 6am. BUSY, BUSY here in NYC, I am MOVING! Got offered a job in Philly and I toke it! My hubby and I are moving home, back to Philly, now all I need to do is sublet my apt in Manhattan (know anyone who needs an apt in the Upper East Side) and pack. OH, NEED A SURGEON (for f/u care, I am 8 mos out, down 107lbs) in Philly, Center City , any recommendations, also need a support group?

4-29-03 Haven't lost anymore weight per se, I did, HOWEVER, gain about 9lbs traveling and my period, when I got back on the 18th, I was at 207, well, the 7lbs went away in a few days, and I finally lost the other 2lbs, so, I am now back down to 198. Saw Dr Leitman last Friday for my 8 mos check up, I wanted to see him before I moved to Philly. He told me he thinks I can make it to "175" and that is my goal weight, I didn't want to hear that. I want to be 150. He said "its all up to you". This is NOT WHAT I WANTED TO HEAR! I always thought the weight would just drip off, I always thought that I would never be able to eat like I was before, as easy as this surgery has been (no complications and can eat anything)....IT HAS BEEN SOOOOOOO HARD! Hard not to eat the ice cream, hard not to have the wine, hard to not eat the bread again, hard not to snack. The exercise is the easiest part of this and I never expected it to be. My new pics are up, I really see the lose, I look like half the person although, weight wise, I am a 1/3. Just want to lose the remaining 48lbs to get to 48? Can I do it? Yes, Will I be able to do it that remains to be seen.