heathercross
August 2003
8-4-03 Back from Vacation @ the Jersey Shore (Ocean City) ...Had a Blast, got a nice tan (even though it was rainy for a few days & overcast)...Pranced around the beach in my new bikini & board shorts and also my bathing suit/skirt (that my mom wanted me to buy, said it was "cute"). On a Food Note, I ATE LIKE A PIG....Funny thing, I actually ate "less" food than usual quantity wise, but, I ate a lot of carbs and treats. Hey, I was on vaka, what the heck. Well, the scale responded...combine that with my period and I was up to 196 when I got back on Saturday (from a low of 187)....All the sticky buns (from Mallon's, if you have been to
8-5-03 QUESTION: How true is this for you now? 1 yr. ago at 305lbs, I LIED ABOUT MY WEIGHT CONSTANTLY! I would never tell anyone how much I weighed. My license was off by 60 Lbs. Now, I will tell anyone. I don't even have a problem admitting that I was 305lbs last summer. I also wonder why people on this site don't even post their weight on their profile? What are you trying to hide. No one here will ridicule you b/c of your weight, we are all here b/c we NEED this surgery. I am making a plea or simple request....PLEASE POST YOUR WEIGHT & HEIGHT ON YOUR PROFILE...It is so helpful to other pre & post-ops. Also, please be honest, don't lie and fudge it, you are only kidding yourself. Thanks.
8-7-03 (189, AGAIN, Thank GOD!)...Scale was at 197 when I returned from Vaka, lost the first 5 Lbs from Friday to Wednesday, Today, the scale hit 189 again, first time in a few weeks since I hit 187 last month. I have a week from tomorrow will my 1-year anniversary! PROTEIN TRAIN!
8-11-03 I am taking a break from the site for a little while, if you have emailed me and I don't reply promptly, pls forgive me. I have a lot going on right now in my life and this surgery was to for me "to feel ALIVE again". I need to take my Life, Accident & Health Exam 2 wks from tomorrow and I need to get re-focused about my weight, my body and myself. I will post on Friday, my 1yr Anniversary (15th), but, I am not reading the boards regularly and not going to post until after my exam on the 26th. See y’all soon. Also, I promise to post a new pic (maybe one of me in my bikini if it looks ok) by Friday
(my aniv).
8-15-03 (ANIVERSARY) HAPPY ANIVERSARY TO ME, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO ME, HAPPY ANIVERSAY TO ME, HAPPY ANIVERSARY TO ME! 1 year ago today @ 8am in the morning at
it was second nature to her) and also to De Leitman who is the MOST GIFTED SURGEON IN THE WORLD! His skill and Humility are unparalleled. I also want to send a SPECIAL THANKS to Berta, Gabby, Wendy, Joyce, Janice, Paula M (My WLS IDOL), Michele, my local WLS support staff....Also, Maureen Ryan, Kim T, Leigh (Ladybug), Lee Ann K, Nancy (my angelette), there are so many, if I have forgotten you, pls FORGIVE me....Thank u all for supporting me and sending me emails. I have tried to KEEP IT REAL all year and I am sorry if some of you were offended by my honesty. This surgery is about becoming the real you and I wasn't going to tone myself down and be someone I'm not for the sake of someone else! Thanks to you all, especially this website for serving up a daily dose of reality and more friends than a gal could ask for! Here to tomorrow and everyday after that. I have 37 more Lbs to go to hit my personal goal, will I make it, time will only tell, but, I am proud of where I am, not ashamed of where I came from and optimistic of where I am going!
8-18-03 Life sucks here in Philly, my hubby just lost his job, he works for Bookbinders (one of the oldest restaurants in Philly) and now he needs to find another f/t job all before he goes back to School in 2 wks. Also, I got my period today, so, the Carb cravings are coming again and I feel like crap! I hate not being able to never take Aleve of Motrin! They worked so well for me. My cramps have gotten so bad since WLS. Mainly b/c I went off the pill and the pill alleviated all cramps and the heavy flow. Last night, I ate like a (what word assoc. can I use), I ATE LIKE A PIG! I ate everything in sight, and BOY DID I PAY! I felt like a bottomless pit. My food for the day consisted of : 2 eggs w/ 1 turkey sausage link, 1 grand w/ strawberry jelly, 2 Choc Chip Cookies, Hot dog w/ Potato Roll, 1/4 cheeseburger no bun, 3 string cheese, 5 more Choc chip cookies, 1 short Italian Hoagie from Wawa and 1 Chipwich! Around 10 p.m., I started vomiting, I felt so sick. This is the first time in a while I have vomited from food. I have vomited from a milkshake and from liquor, but, not for overeating. Well, my period came 3 days early, so, it kind of makes sense, BUT WHEN WILL I LEARN AND SEE THE SIGNS AND STOP!
8-22-03 Went to Support Group last night @ Lenox Hill, I love going. I love everyone there. There was this gal there, she was 24, she was saying how not EVERYONE loves WLS, she was talking about how she was regretting it and maybe she could have done something more to lose on her own. I felt sorry for her for feeling that way but so excited for her also. Just think, in a few short months, she is GONNA BE A KNOCKOUT and a thin KNOCKOUT at that! What I would have given to be thin at 24. My personal and professional life would have been so different. Maybe I wouldn't have settled for so much in my life.
8-24-03 I decided to join Jenny Craig. I am going tomorrow. I want to lose another 37lbs. In the past, I loved Jenny Craig but I used to get bored by week 6. I figure if I go the 1200 calories route, I will be really absorbing say 900 calories and its far more food than I normally eat, so, I will get a lot of variety and some added things I never eat, i.e. carbs and sweets. I will let you know how it goes. I am also going to get serious about working out. I can deal with not losing anymore weight, but, I wanna tone up and lose some inches. I NEED to be a size 10. I am a 14 now, but, not in everything. Its only a $1 per lb right now, so, I am gonna pay for $37lbs plus food. I am excited, it will be a nice change. The food is very high in carbs but very low in calories & fat, so, it might work. A lot of post-ops have been eating carbs since the beginning and their weight loss hasn't been affected! I really want to lose these last 37lbs by New years Eve and be at 175 by October 24th. That is my 15-year High School Reunion and at my 5yr reunion, I was A BIG FAT COW! So, this would be sweet!
8-25-03 I am miserable here in Philly. I am not sure if I am miserable b/c I HATE MY JOB, I HATE PHILADELPHIA, I MISS NEW YORK CITY or if I AM MISERABLE PERIOD! My hubby and I had a long chat last night, I told him I want to go back. He will
not even consider it. He said he has followed me to Philly b/c I thought I would be happy here near my family and that I thought I wanted to settle down, buy a house and have kids! I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I WANT! I defiantly am not ready for kids. I wouldn't have kids until he is done school, that wouldn't be for at least 2 years. I also want to get to goal before I even consider getting pregnant. I would also like to enjoy my new body a little bit. Is that INSANE? AM I INSANE? Sometimes I think so. We did a lot of fighting and didn't say the nicest things to one another, he accused me of being shallow and said he doesn't trust me sometimes b/c I change my mind so much (i.e., house, job, baby, etc). This WLS does f^&K with your head! I start therapy this Wednesday, I plan on taking
the next 9 mos to figure out what the heck I want (since I obviously don't know). We have tenets in out NYC apt till June 1st, so, I would need to evict/not renew there lease them by April 1st. What have I gotten myself into?
8-26-03 I joined Jenny Craig tonight. I tried to join on Saturday and I made the mistake of telling the girl about the gastric bypass and she wanted a signed letter of consent from my surgeon, f-her, I went to another center and didn't tell anyone! I am on 1200 calories. I will see if I lose, I pray I do. The scale at the center says I weighed in at 195.6, my home scale is at 191. Who cares, as long as I lose. They took my measurements and a "before" pic. I told the counselor I lost 120lbs on Atkins. They were shocked. They didn't believe me so I showed them a before pic. I hate lying, but, how else do you get what you want some times. I predict/HOPE I can lose 5 Lbs this week, if I do, this will be my first 5lbs loss week since I was early on post-op.
8-27-03 I started this morning, the food cost me $101 for the week. They want me on 1500 calories, I am doing 1200, figuring I will malabsorb 900. It seems like a lot of food, more than I usually eat, but, more healthy. For example, for breakfast I had a egg & turkey ham sandwich (English muffin) & a glass of skim milk. Mid morning snack is 1 dannon yogurt. Lunch is a chicken sandwich on wheat roll w/ garden salad, afternoon snack is apple (or any kind of fruit), dinner is Salisbury steak with roasted potatoes and peas & carrots. Snack is a slice of Raspberry cheesecake. Sounds yummy! Will see. Totals for the Day: 1238 Calories/38g of Fat/154g of Carbs/76g of Protein. NOW THATS A LOT OF CARBS, but, my fat is WAY down compared to how I usually eat. And, with the cheating I have done lately, the carbs are about right. My Nutrionist, Nicole Segal, has been telling me all alone to follow a 30/40/30 diet, more like the zone....SO, WE WILL SEE! Wish me Luck!
8-30-03 Great Article on Obesity in the NY Times:
http://www.nytimes.com/2003/08/29/business/29OBES.html?ex=1063220621&ei=1&en=b4902626356d1a9e
