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11-2-03 Ok, I had this opportunity to do a half lease on a horse.  So, I went horseback riding on Saturday, to try him out! I HAD SO MUCH FUN!  I WAS BACK IN MY ELEMENT. At first, it felt awkward, I had a hard time realizing I was no longer 305 lbs and I even told the gal who owned the horse "if I look to big on him, you need to tell me, I still see myself as over 300lbs"...she laughed and said I look great!  Well, I hurt bones in my groin and pelvis, as I now am aware of those bones!  We trotted around, we cantered, did a light gallop, although I bounced around a bit and didn't have the greatest form, I felt AWESOME!  But, I misunderstood the girl about the price, I thought I was paying $150/month instead of $225.  So, b/c we are saving to buy a house, I declined.  I am sooooo  depressed about this, but, I did one thing I wanted to do b/c of this surgery!  So, when the hubby and I go to in Jan, I am gonna ride!  The last 2 times I was in , I was pushing 275, so, this time I will be able to ride gracefully and not feel as though the horse should be riding me!  Oh, last thing, tomorrow I start TRYING again.  Getting focused again, its amazing to me that I can only stay focused 2 weeks a month!  Oh, lastly, tomorrow is my 2 yr anniversary to my hubby!

11-9-03 What kind of questions does one ask or should I concern myself with tomorrow when I go for my PS consult? I am seeing a Dr Abramson in NYC. I am choosing to have my PS done in NYC even though I am now living in Philadelphia b/c I believe NYC has the best surgeons in the world. It is my understanding, that a tt is a 1 day procedure and I go home the next day, so, I am wondering if the 2 hr drive home will be hard 1 day post-op? I also worry about follow-up care as I will be 2 hrs away? I want to get this done this January. I have BC/BS Personal Choice? What are they like for approvals?

The coord in the PS office has told me that she is getting a 70%-80% approval on tt right now, so, I want to jump on this?

I am 15 mos post-op, down to 183 from 305..Am I still to fat to have this done? Will they be like, "lose some more weight girl"? Will they really take pics of my naked? What are the complications that could occur? What are the different times of tt? I will tell you I have a HUGE pouch around my abdomen below my belly button. My gut is HUGE! Other than that, I have no extra skin. When I look at the pics Kary posted the other day of all the extra skin or those of Teena Adler on her profile, I don't have those issues. I cannot pull my skin from my body like a deflated balloon? Will that hurt me from approval? Am I really insane to have this tt done now at 33 when I have yet to have children?

11-12-03 Need some opinions...met with my PS, Dr. David Abramson, in New York City on Monday. He told me I am in need of a Circumpheral (sp?) lipectomy (I can't read his chicken scratch)....but, basically, I am being cut front to back. It is a lower body lift and it will get rid of my gut, he will pull everything up and forward, lipo my saddle bags and get rid of the roll on my ass. Basically, I will be FLAT and had a nice ass after the surgery (excited about this b/c big, round asses are in and I have a very tiny waist, tiny up top with 36C chest)....He also said I could (if I had a wish list) get a boob lift and also a mini on my arms (they aren't bad).

His cord, Pat, said BC/BS sucks with approvals in NY. He said Aetna and Cigna were breezes and I should try to switch to them. They are in my plan and I could maybe switch during open enrollment right now. However, I hate having to get referrals. So, I am gonna try with BC/BS and if it doesn't work, we have Open Enrollment again in April (we do it bi-yearly).

Prices:

Surgical Fee $9000

Hospital Fee $2100**

Anesthesia Fee $1130**

Overnight $1000**

Total(s) $13,230

If BC/BS approves me, I will have to pay $6000 as only tt are paid for and I would have to pay the extra amount for being cut front to back.

Are these numbers fair? Remember this is MANHATTAN and he is on Park Avenue ? He is a referral from my surgeon and I know a lot of people who have gone to him and are very happy?

11-18-03 Ok, here I go...When I was researching WLS for a year, NEVER did anyone tell me that I would be able to eat as much as I am at 15mos out! Up to now, WLS has been a piece of cake. I don't dump, I can eat whatever, all meats, sugars, breads, etc. Once you hit 1yr post-op, its not much of a TOOL anymore, its more mind over matter. I do go to therapy to deal with food issues (so, I am working on my head)! But, what I wanna know is did anyone else think this would be EASIER? and the eating HARDER? I really thought I would be eating only a handful of food even now at 15 mos out! I also thought everyone got to goal. Only when pressing my surgeon, did he admit that ONLY 10-20% of those having WLS ACTUALLY REACH GOAL (GOAL determined by the Met Life tables). He gave me the speech of the real goal of WLS is to get one active. Don't get me wrong, I love that I have lost close to 130lbs and I am weighing in the 180's (within 5lbs of Dr's goal and 30lbs of my goal)... But, COME ON! Shouldn't this have been easier?

11-28-03 I spoke with my good friend Michele today. She is 3 wks post-op from her Lower Body Lift and Arm Lift. She said it was the WORST pain of her life. She said RNY was a piece of cake compared to this. The only difference, she could eat! FUNNY, right! I am so jealous of Michelle, she went from 319 to 147 in 10 mos (she is almost 2 yrs out now) and she just got her PS! She is also a size 6. Why are some more successful than others with this surgery thing. There is no rhyme or reason too it.

11-30-03 Nothing is new! I am in a terrible slump. I Thank God for exercise, b/c if I wasn't active, I would have gained back ALOT of weight by now. I eat what I want, I have been eating bread, sandwiches, Ben & Jerry's, Milk and OJ...I also have been grazing a lot! I am thankful for exercise b/c if I didn't walk 5miles a day and go to the gym 3X per week, I would be packing on the lbs. I need to make a decision. Do I want to continue to diet (i.e. do the Atkins thing) or do I wanna just eat normal, not watching what I eat and just increase the exercise. All the Surgeons at Lenox Hill stress that WLS is all about getting active, so, if that is really true, that I chose the latter.