*UPDATE*  :  Its been a long time since I've been on this site.  It leaves me crestfallen.  Had been homeless and lost all belongings.  Trying to cope w/ anxiety, severe depression, agoraphobia [wish doctors made house calls]; I cannot go out due to so many reasons.  Trying to start over now that I'm here in Youngstown, OH.  Have gotten larger and need to try to qualify for Medicaid and Medicare.  I am disabled but it comes down to having PROOF on paper.  Its a pain.  I need Medicare because the facility I'd probably go to is in Akron or Warren i think.  All I know is that they don't take Medicaid-- which I don't have anyway-  but will accept Medicare.

I'm damned if I do and if i don't.  I know I'd have to go through a battery of tests, that'll cost a fortune.  I'm broke anyway and can't be approved for a loan.  Its bullshit and it's not fair.  I'm older, tired, fed up with fighting and often wish I were dead.  I can't function anymore.  Its tough to make new friends.  I have none here.  With my condition, hampers it even more.

Say a prayer for me.  Sick of everyone else's accomplishments.  Despite all of my past efforts it got me nowhere and have not had any joy in my life for 10.5 years.*

__________________

Hi there,   I'm J.B. and I exist in my adopted city of Manhattan.   I say that 'cuz I'm not a native New Yorker.   I'm an Army Brat, born in Kentucky and was raised in Germany from 10mos. old until we returned to the states when I was 5-ish.   First residing on an Army post in Washington state, then in my parents & older sibling's birth state of Maryland.   But I fell in love w/ the spires of NY, the sounds, the smells(?) LOL , the energy and vibe of this city in 1976.   I was 7yrs. old and on a family car trip to visit my Uncle Bo in Brooklyn.   And doesn't everyone have an uncle, or some relation, in Brooklyn?  Anyway, though I was only visiting for 2 days, I was soo moved and inspired by all that I'd seen and heard, I knew I had to make it my home someday, somehow.   The twin towers gleaming in the morning sun in the distance were the first skyscrapers I saw, and were the last that I watched pulling away from me as I gazed out of our car's rear window.   I turned to my mom & said, "I'm gonna live there one day, mommy."   She said something to the effect of "That's nice sweetie, now sit down all the way so daddy can see out of his rearview mirror."   To everyone's shock & awe I moved here 05 December 1993 when I was 24 and never looked back.   Aside from having married a wonderful, irreplaceable man (I never actually ever planned to get married), moving to NYC was the only goal I ever accomplished.   The only time where I sat back & said I was proud of myself.   Getting WLS would be another reason.
My story?   I'm just looking to start a new story for when I someday become the NEW me.   Otherwise if you, dear reader, would like more, just read my profile intro.     Toodles WLS-keteers!  8^D
Ahh, Paris!   No, that's not Quasimodo... c'est moi! 8^D   Me w/ Notre Dame behind me.   Diagonally in front of me, out of view, is the original Shakespeare and Company Bookshop.   As much as I love France, and after hearing nothing but french for two solid weeks, it did my heart and ears good to hear english being spoken!   Yay, I could finally talk 2 people and not depend on my then boss/fiance to translate.   And I saved myself the public humiliation of stumbling through their lovely lingua.






----------

---------------