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Goals

To have my husband be proud to be seen with me.

1 Person
 in progress, 
0 People
 achieved this

make it to my first appointment april 13 in edmonton for module 1

0 People
 in progress, 
1 Person
 achieved this

Have my weight register on my new scale

0 People
 in progress, 
1 Person
 achieved this

to look in the miror and LIKE what I see

1 Person
 in progress, 
0 People
 achieved this

To be able to wear pretty bras and panties again

32 People
 in progress, 
16 People
 achieved this
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Member Interests
  • Dogs - I have a pug pom cross he is my fourth child I love him soooo much.
  • Camping - We go on a camping trip every summer and it is still the high light of the year.
  • Tattoo - want to get my first tattoo just want to be smaller first....
  • Horror - I love to be scared ...

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herestolife's Blog
herestolife's Blog


Things I hate !!!!
on March 25, 2010 8:06 am
  • I hate thinking that I look "okay" today only to look in the mirror and bust into tears.
  • I hate that when I get in a photo with my friends, the photographer has to take 3 steps back to fit me in the frame.
  • I hate when I see said photo and take up half of it.
  • I hate that I'm always told how pretty I am as if it's some kind of consolation prize.
  • I hate that I'm considering surgery... WTF ... that was always something 'other people' did and now I'm one of them

 

  • I hate that my confidence is gone

 

  • I hate that getting here seemed easy and leaving it behind seems impossible
  • i LOATHE the rash that i get under my stomach, it hurts and stinks! Sorry if that was TMI but it's the worst thing and causes so much pain!
  • i HATE the fact that we're made to pay nearly triple what a 'normal' sized person would for clothes!
  • i HATE the fact that i have no energy to play with my kids
  • i HATE how I've never known anything but being overweight
  • i HATE being so tired ALL the time
  • i HATE not wanting to show any affection to my partner because i hate the way i feel & look
  • i HATE the headaches and pains in my back
  • i HATE not being in photos with anyone, especially my kids
  • . I hate having to clutch pillows in front of me whenever I sit on the couch, or carrying bags in front of me when I go out.
  •  I hate avoiding my reflection in windows when I go out with my partner.
  •  I hate bits of my body that wobble when I walk.

  • I hate visiting family and just wanting to have a normal time, but feeling my heart freeze when I hear them talking in another room about weight problems.

  • I hate that it's on my mind every minute of the day. It affects everything I do. I can't help but feel that if I were slim, that I could solve the situation in the Middle East with all the freed up space my mind could redirect thought to.
  • I hate the feeling that everyone is looking at you and talking about you
  • I hate feeling like I have to go swimming fully clothed, as not to offend people.. It is really embarrassing!!
  • being the 'fat friend'

    having a pretty face'

    when people feel they can comment on your weight like you have no feelings

    shopping grrrrrrr the clothes are soooo ugly!

    not being able to just go in a store and buy something without trying it on!

    eating in public because you know people are watching you.

    my thighs rubbing together

    being uncomfortable in the summer

    that I'm always 'a good friend' to guys

    just being sooooo big YUK!

    Its funny when you think about it ..... they are all similar but yet very different. I did not think that  there were that many things to hate about yourself but when you start to write the flood gates just open up and the crap pours out. Well  I am done my rant for today. And thanks to anyone who listens.

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