Well as many of you know I LIVED in my big old comfy chair for the past 8 years.  It has seriously fallen apart over the years and we've had to nail it together, tie it together, and even sewed it in a few places.  As you can imagine from me weighing 557lbs it took alot of abuse from my weight.  It didn't have any springs or insides anymore so we stacked about 13 blankets in the bottom and put a big piece of foam in for the seat.  It had pillows stuffed in each side from God only knows how long ago.  I found a couch pillow I hadn't seen in years in it.  We of course had a chair cover over it so it didnt look nearly as bad as it does in the pics.  Well yesterday was the end.  I took a hammer to it.  It was kinda hard because for so long I NEEDED that chair--I was uncomfortable in anything else.  I LIVED in it.  Slept in it, ate in it, watched tv in it, ALL day ALL night EVERYDAY.  I did cry when I took my first swing at my old buddy.  It was hard to break down something that had been such a good friend to me.  My husband said why are you crying, I said because this chair was my friend.  My husband called it stolckhome syndrome.  He said NO it wasn't your friend Angie it was your prison--you were trapped in this thing, beat the crap out of it--that part of your life is over.  So I did.  When we got it to the front door and at the steps I kicked it out the door and down the steps.  When it landed I literally exhaled.  Man it felt soooo good.  I can't tell you the weight that was just lifted off of me.  

Sunday Deb C is giving me an exercise bike that I will be putting in it's place right in my living room.  NO more sitting--unless I'm exercising!!!  (thanks so much Deb)

~Angie

Well I am now 6 months post op and have lost approximatelly 200lbs.  I feel WONDERFUL!!!  I haven't felt this good in years.  Surgery wasn't exactly an easy one but I made it.  I ended up having to have a tracheotomy because of my sleep apena--I was told for 6-7 months (not cool, I was NOT happy).  I went in the day before surgery and had thte trach put in.  The only thing I remember is scooting over to the operating table and putting my neck on this arch thing and I was out.  The next thing I remember was waking up and having to pee--aparently it was after my gastric bypass surgery because the nurse was talking about getting me a bed pan and I remember looking over and there was a toilet and I shook my head no and pointed to the toilet and they were like you want to get up and get on the toilet and I shook my head yes.  They discussed is for a min and then decided to let me try it.  (I couldn't talk because of the trach)  I used the bar thing above my head attached to the bed and pulled myself up and got out of bed and walked over to the toilet and the nurses were in shock--they were like wow we've never saw someone get up like that right after surgery--I remember thinking--I'm a big girl I've always been a big girl--I know if I can't lift me then who's gonna??  I don't really remember too much about the first 5 days--I was in ICU due to my trach and was on a vent at night for precausion. (HATED IT)  Not breathing for yourself is a very scary thing.  I do remember waking up one time and seeing a nurse standing to my right squeezing one of those bag things that you see on tv when someone is dying.  The first thought was OMG I'm dying.  I must have looked at her crazy cause she said it's ok honey I"m just breathing for you.  I still wasn't sure that I was NOT dying.  Then I started to look around the room and saw my sister so then I thought well if I'm dying they wouldn't let her be in here so then I calmed down.  I also remember my Dad sitting to my left and holding my hand and saying you really took the bull by the horns this time kid.  I thought yeah I sure did and my second thought was damn did I choose the right thing, because the pain at that time was crazy bad.  I think it was mostly I was just UNCOMFORTABLE!!!  The trach was the worst part of the WHOLE thing.  I do remember hallusinating a few times and seeing my baby brother popping his head up and down on the wall border laughing at me and I'd laugh back and his and wave and everyone would be like who you waving to--and I wrote down Scotty look he's up there waving to me.  Yeah they thought I was crazy.  So 5 days after surgery I was transfered to a long term hospital.  I had to go there because of my trach and the vent which I was supposed to be on at night but insisted they take it off everynight--I could breath on my own and that thing was just horrible.  So about 2 weeks after that I was transfered to a nursing home.  I live in Missouri and had my surgery in Indiana and my surgeon wanted me to stay in Indiana for at least a month after surgery so I had to stay in a nursing home.  HORRIBLE!!!  I was so lonely and hating my trach more and more everyday.  My husband did stay in Indiana with me the whole time which I am so thankful for--I would have been misserable without him.  My family did make trips to see me also--I think my brother Eric only missed ONE weekend of not seeing me.  SO on my 1 month annervisary of my surgery I got my trach out.  I was soooooooo happy.  I could breath so much better without it.  I know that's hard to believe but it's true.  Because it got clogged alot and had to be sucked out and ehhh it's just a big hassel.  So now I'm 6 months out and haven't had insulin since the day before surgery.  I took 260 units the day before surgery and none since.  I took about 5 pills also then now I only take 1.  My high blood pressure is under control and I feel wonderful.  I no longer sleep with my bypap machince and all in all I'd do it all over again if I had to.  I wish all of you the very best of luck in your journey's.  It's not easy but it sure is worth it.

My surgery date is Janurary 22, 2007.  I'm overwhelmed, excitied, nervous...everything...

I'm so overwhelmed with emotion.  I'm feeling so many things at once..I'm excitied that I'll be getting a surgery date sometime within the next 30 days but at the same time...I'm scared and happy and excitied and nervous and well I dunno just all these things at once.  I know my life is about to change and I know EVERYTHING I've known and done the past 33 yrs will be different.  I'll be able to do things I've never done before or in a very long time.  I know it's all a few years away but I'm just nervous---I've NEVER been thin.  NEVER.  I don't know how it's going to hit me or make me feel or if I'm going to lose my mind.  I watched a documentry a few years ago about a woman who lost weight from WLS and when she got thinner she started parting and sleepin around and dyed her hair and well just totally went nutso.  I partied alot in my earlier 20s so I'm not so worried about that, I've had lots of fun and sex and all that.  I'm just concerned with the reaction men will give me---how will I feel to have lots of men look at me or smile or hold a door open (not just the BBW admirers).  I love my husband and am not looking to change anything at all we've been together for 7 years and I love him emensley.  I'm just scared that somehow the weight loss will change something in me.  Hell I dunno it may sound crazy but this is just how I feel.  

I keep thinking about the little things that will change for me---like not having to turn sideways to walk down my hall, not having to have someone help me walk up or down stairs, being able to walk through a store and shop, hell just being able to WALK period.  I can't wait for the day I can play ball with my nephews and nieces.  I want to play baseball again sooo bad, I've always loved playing my weight never stopped me in my younger years I love it.  It did stop me from playing in high school because of what the other kids would say.  We played in PE and my teacher always let me be a team leader because she knew I had a good knowledge of the game and could see the strong points in people and know where to put them on the field.  Last summer my nephews and nieces and I played catch in the lake and they were all cheering for me when I'd jump for the ball and catch it or throw it real far---I had alot of fun.  It was easy for me to play in the water---I could never stand and play catch or dive for a ball on land.  Hell I'll be happy to just be able to sit in the heat and watch them play ball in their league.  As it is now I can't sit out there too long if it's real hot---I get over heated and short of breath easily.  

I'm just spilling my thoughts a lil.  Thanks for reading.

Always,
~Angie!

Well I finally found a surgeon---it's been a long hard battle but I'm so happy with the one God has chosen for me.  Her name is Dr Margret Inman in Carmel Indiana.  She said that in my case I'll probably be on a vent after surgery and that she will more than likely put in a trach.  I'm a lil nervous about it but ok it's a small price to pay for my life.  So I'm playing the waiting game with insurance now.  Hopefully 30 days and I'll be on my waiting list for surgery :D:D:D

I'm sure some of you are wondering what's going on with me and my journey for WLS (weight loss surgery).  Well since I last posted---I was turned down by the surgeon in TN so that's out.  I found one in Chicago and all is going well until today---I found out they want 500 bucks cash when I go there.  Well, the plan was to go on the 18th of July and stay for 2 days to see the surgeon go to a seminar and have some testing done.  Well it'll cost a few hundred to go there and the hotel and all that so I'm not sure I'll have the 500.  So I'm thinking about looking into other states---a friend told me about a surgeon in Indiana so that's my next call for tomorrow.  I'm still hanging in there but felt like the earth was pulled out from under me when the TN guy told me no.  I had all the testing done and everything.  I cried for about a hour--it's like I thought everything was about to happen and had all my eggs in one basket and then poof the bottom fell out.  So I've since picked myself up and am carrying on toward my goal.  Thanks for all your prayers and wishes and comment and thoughts---I really appreciate them.  to be continued....