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Hello, My name is MaryAnn and I have pretty much been obese my whole life, except for a few blips when I actually got down to a "normal" weight. My closet contains a whole range of sizes from 6 to 20. I am 36 years old and intend to reach my goal weight by my next birthday. I want to be healthy for LIFE. I cannot wait to do the things I LOVE to do: hiking, jogging, rollerblading and mtn biking, without wheezing or crashing into something from utter exhaustion. I am ready to hit the trails!
Aug 14, 2008 on August 14, 2008 5:35 am
Who would have thought that finding love would be the key to loving myself? I have met a really great man who adores me and loves me just as I am. I find it amazing that a year after my surgery, God brings His blessings to me. A year of struggle, tears, self discovery, hard work (!), and going to mass alone like some loser. Having faith that God has not forgotten about me, has a grand plan for ME! I am having so much FUN, I don't have time for emotional eating. I feel satisfied.
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August 7, 2008 One Year Bandiversary! on August 7, 2008 11:34 am
Well it has been one whole year now.I feel so blessed to have had this procedure. My whole life has greatly improved in the past year. I am so much more healthy, active, ALIVE! Yes, I still struggle every day. Food will always be an issue for me. It is really hard to make the best choices, do your exercises, love yourself every day. I know that as long as I have the band I will always have the tool I need to stay healthy. I just have to put in the work to make it a reality. In the next year I want to reach my goal of 145#s. As long as I can keep my food addiction /disordered emotional eating under control (aka not sabotaging myself) I know I can achieve it. I have learned a lot about myself this year. 1:1 therapy and prozac have been essential in helping me work through my issues. I will always be a work in progress, but with God's help I will be happy at last.
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February 28, 2008 on February 28, 2008 4:38 am
Had the BEST support group session last night. I think the core group of us lapbanders were able to convince our leader/therapist to open the sessions to all lapbanders who want to join and therfore we can continue to come to our little support group every month. Also when I walked into the big support group Garth was answering questions and pointed me out as a lapband pt of his. I was able to publicly announce in front of all my peers that "Garth is my HERO!" I told the group how his words of encouragement on Monday have validated my whole experience and how he made me feel like a SUCCESS now!
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February 26, 2008 on February 26, 2008 5:00 am
Yesterday was a challenging day. I started out by getting really stressed at work. I couldn't even drink my protein shake. Started throwing up right there in the nurse's station. (tres embaressment) Got an appt with Garth (thank God for cancellations) and got someone to come in and work for me. When I got to the dr's office, had a 2 hr wait, apparently an emergency in the MICU. After I explained about the very tight restriction for the past week, he decided to take out 1 cc and send me for an upper GI. I was pretty freaked out, thinking I may have slipped my band, dilated my esophagus, or developed a hiatel hernia. But everything looked normal and he said I can come back in a month for a fill. In the mean time he cautioned me that I am wide open and will be very hungry. (GREAT!!! LOL) I am just so greatful that everything is ok. He explained that once you get really irritated, that inflammation does not go down and will get worse until you get an unfill. Apart from being freaked out Garth gave me the BEST NSV moment. He said "you are so SKINNY! Don't lose any more weight." When I told him the charts still says I am overweight, he said "BAH, those charts are stupid!" Dr Garth, MY HERO!!!!
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February 23, 2008 on February 23, 2008 8:02 am
I have been really working on my cardio lately. I was finally able to do a 10 min mile, something I have never been able to do before, EVER! The last 2 days I jogged 3 miles in 30 min. It's hard, but I can do it. 
Also I have noticed I have been really restricted this past week. I basically pb at every meal. This is quite frustrating. Like today I had 1/2 c LF cottage cheese and am full. Weird? Guess I'll talk to Garth about it when I go for my "fill", which I won't need if this keeps up. I just hope with all this throwing up I haven't slipped my band. I must say I do enjoy getting full on very little food.
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My Story It's funny how I was always opposed to weight loss surgery until I had a wake up call In January 2007. I was volunteering at a health fair for my hospital doing blood cholesterol checks. I did my own and was frightened to find my numbers were all BORDERLINE! I have always been fat, but my labs and vitals were always within normal limits. That is when I decided to seriously look into weight loss surgery. I went to my first information seminar in February and by March was in the weight loss management program at my hospital (for the 2nd time). No liquid fast for me this time, I wanted something permanent! I picked my surgeon basically because he did his residency at my school and also because my insurance would only cover surgery through my hospital, which he has privledges. I'm kidding, I actually did lots of research on the web. It seemed like it took forever to go through the insurance mandated weight loss program, then wait for approval, then wait for a surgery date. But I finally did have surgery 08/07/07, and went home the same night. I had my big sis stay with me and that was the best comfort of all. Five days post op I was shopping at the mall with her - retail therapy.
Post op now I have been very challenged by having a band, but no restriction. Basically it feels like being on a diet: deprivation, hunger, disappointment. I know this will not last forever, so being patient is a blessing. I started going back to church. I figured what could it hurt to ask for some divine intervention? I have been lurking on many weight loss websites but I like OH the best. Members here are so supportive and positive. I've gotten more from OH than my own support group. I've learned more about loving myself and NOT giving in to self-sabotaging behaviors. When I hit onederland, I bought myself some jewelry instead of celebrating with food. With all the money I save from not eating out and/or eating so much less, I treat myself to a massage every month.
I will always be a work in progress, I will always have to follow my own path. Now that I have made the commitment to permanent weight loss the journey will be so much better/longer/FUNNER!
Peace and love,
MaryAnn
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