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STOP SETTLING FOR LESS THAN I DESERVE!!!!!

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wear a size 10

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take a vacation and truly enjoy it!!!

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WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH
hmcrae06's Blog


1 week...almost
on August 3, 2008 5:11 pm

Tomorrow will be 1 week since having laproscopic gastric bypass. It has not been easy for me....not physically, I feel great - weak but great! It's the mental aspect. I am feeling depressed. Something I could never fathom feeling. I have WANTED this DESPERATELY for sooo long. But I can't get the protein in and I have incredible head hunger! I want to taste SOMETHING. My mind screams for a piece of toast or even a bite of peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I am embarassed to admit, I miss food......and it's only been 6 days!!!!! I am afraid I am going to fail and I am ashamed. I have even cried....alll for food. WTF? I feel like an addict!
I am holding on, and taking it day by day!

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almost there
on July 25, 2008 5:08 pm
I went to meet with the surgeon today for the last consult before the surgery. He cam in and said hi...do you have any questions? I  said no and that was it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He said well I am excited to see your transformation and walked me to the desk to pay my copay. SOOOOOOO that was that!
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PRE OP
on July 11, 2008 5:17 pm
Today I met with the dietician to start the protein diet. Then, I went to the hospital for my pre op stuff. A chest xray, an EKG, and some blood drawn. Everyone was very nice and all went smoothly. I really cannot believe this is happening!!!
After pre op I went to sign up for school. I have decided to start school full time in the fall...it;s like I want EVERYTHING all at once.

All I have left is the dietician class and then a meeting with the Dr. on the 25th.
Just a little over 2 weeks to go.
     Just a little not - for those of you going through the struggle and fighting with insurance - DO NOT GIVE UP !!!  This took almost 2 years to the day to get this approved , and everything is finally falling into place!

Enough babbling for today
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I cannot stand it
on July 9, 2008 4:57 pm
I am so excited I cannot breathe 19 days feels like an eternity!
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the ball is rolling
on July 8, 2008 9:07 pm
I went today and had an ultrasound of my legs to make sure there are no bloodclot - quick and easy - just a precaution. Also have my other pre op appointments set up and then du du duuuuuunnnnnn Surgery at 8am 7/28
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My Story

. A real life!!!!  For me, that means losing this padding that surrounds me. I don't need it's "protection" anymore.  Idon't want another year to pass by, and wonder what I've done. 2007 is going to be MY year !!!! I' m ready for a change.  

                                           
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                                                            OVER THE YEARS , NOT ONLY HAVE I ALLOWED OTHERS TO HURT ME OVER AND OVER, BUT I HAVE HURT MYSELF !!!   I BELIEVE FOOD IS "MY DRUG OF CHOICE".  I DON'T DRINK OR SMOKE OR USE STREET DRUGS, BUT FOOD IS MY ADDICTION. IT USED TO BE MY FRIEND - IF I WAS HAPPY, SAD, MAD BORED,LONELY - I COULD COUNT ON MY FRIEND FOOD TO BE AROUND. I'VE FOUND THAT I'VE USED MY WEIGHT AS A SHIELD FROM THE WORLD. I DON'T KNOW IF ANYONE CAN RELATE , BUT BEING THIS HEAVY HAS MADE ME INVISIBLE. IT'S HARD TO EXPLAIN (EVEN TO MYSELF). ALTHOUGH I AM LONELY AND DEPRESSED...IT'S SAFE!  
I BELIEVE I AM READY TO CHANGE. I REALIZE LIFE IS PASSING ME BY.....AND I WANT TO LIVE IT!!!!!!!!


 
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