I've been playing around with my profile a bit. My favorite flower is the hydrangea so I'm using a photoshopped picture I found online as my background. I just love the shades and colors and variety that they come in.

I've started a new antidepressant  (Remeron) that has caused a NINE POUND weight gain. I'm ready to burst into tears. I have to admit that water retention, a new birth control pill, and water retention have played a part in it as well... I can't blame it all on the remeron and cry into a bowl of edy's cookies n' cream icecream. The remeron is incredible, the best antidepressant I've ever been on... with the exception of the crazy cravings and appetite increase. But starting today I'm fighting back.

I went back and re-read pouch rules for dummies this morning and I'm sticking to it best I can. I've done well, a huge improvement over the past couple of days. I may not be perfect but I'm certainly way lower on the calorie and carb counter today than I was yesterday. And way higher on the protein count. I've been drinking coffee with SF french vanilla creamer and unjury unflavored added to it. I love that stuff. ("the stuff" meaning all 3... the coffee, the creamer, and the unjury)

Apart from the weight gain, the antidepressant has been awesome. I no longer have that dead weight of dread sitting in the middle of my chest. I was having a number of serious depression symptoms and they're pretty much all gone. I'm just sort of mellow and slightly drowsy. 

I'm still below the "goal" my surgeon set for me, but not anywhere near the goal I set for myself. I'm up 14 pounds from my lowest ever weight. I tend to follow a pattern though, I drop to a way low weight. gain quite a bit back, and all of a sudden drop again to the low weight which then becomes my new "set point". 

I think I'll probably see a significant change in the scale tomorrow just from losing this bloating. I'm going to take ANOTHER dose of milk of magnesia (gag) and drink another couple of gallons of water. When I woke up this morning my size 7 rings (I wear a 6 now) were all tight and my hands and face were puffy. My tummy was bloated. I took some Milk of Magnesia last night and it had not started working yet. It took some concentration to keep it from coming back up. That stuff is NOT pleasant. 

My daughter has been home with a fever (no other symptoms) and all of a sudden my eyes are watering and I'm sneezing and blowing my nose. I'm not running a fever but I do feel tired and run down. Sometimes its hard to tell what is caused by anemia, depression, a cold, or some other unknown. 

To top it off I went today for vaccinations and bloodwork. I'm taking a phlebotomy class as a minimester at the end of this semester and I have a LOT of requirements and testing and vaccinations that are required. Today I had to have a UA, and a bunch of blood drawn. I didn't ask what all of it was but I do know one thing she was testing for was syphilis and another was HIV. The UA should be flagged immediately for all the medications (prescription) that I take. I'm sure the person getting that report will be intrigued with all that I rest positive on. amphetamines, benzodiazepams, just to name a few.

That stuff isnt such a big deal but I also had to have a TDaP (tetanus, diptheria, and pertussis... they've stopped giving the plain tetanus to adults now that whooping cough -pertussis- is making a comeback) And I had the first part of a double TB test and the first in my Hepatitis A and Hepatitis B series. I wasn't showing cold symtoms when I was in the office... I sure hope this doesn't mean that i'm more likely to end up with some ugly little bug.

Well, I think I'm going to drink more water, swig some MOM and take a Dayquil.

Holly

Loading up to head to my mother's for the holidays. I am really looking forward to it. Many people there haven't seen me since surgery, or in the last 50 or so pounds. As you get closer to your even just 15 pounds makes an incredible difference so  I look forward to playing a little bit of the peacock. I uploaded some new pictures into my gallery of a Christmas Party we attended. The pictures turned out well. I was angry I forgot to take my camera, but someone else had brought theirs so it all worked out well.

The PS consult did not go well. The surgeon was supposedly on my network but not accepting contract terms/payments. Essentially they are the only PS in town that accepts Tricare and they're making up their own rules. He said he would take Tricare's money, but would need more because they didn't cover enough. He also added hospital and operating room costs which aren't his responsibility. My insurance has a contract with the hospital... they've already agreed to the contract terms of my insurance, so this guy isn't going to charge me full amount when My insurance already has an agreement that I pay nothing out of pocket. So, I've decided to go back to UAB. It is 100+ miles, but it will be worth it. That is where I had my WLS, where I had my gall bladder removed and then they took care of the complications of that. My particular surgeon will be associate professor of plastic surgery and has a special interest in body reconstruction after WLS. I'm going to tell him to show his residents and interns how to do a full body lift if they want to. Practice all you like, just get this loose skin up, breasts in place, belly gone, and maybe a touch of lipo here and there. I've been told he goes a little above and beyond since he is in there to teach, which is the same situation as the surgeon that did my WLS. So teach on, put this body back together because right now from my breasts to my knees I look like an action figure that spent a few minutes in the microwave

I am now preparing for plastic surgery for my breasts and abdomen. I have a hard time with rashes all over the place, and yeast infections that won't heal. Seems to be called intertigo. Really, really, really uncomfortable. My insurer (tricare) has a single plastic surgeon in my area. I wish I had more to chose from but I have to work with what I've got.  I've now lost 191 pounds. I'd like to lose a few more before my PS, at least another 9 to make it an even 200. silly little goal possibly. But it would be nice to say I got to -200 without the help of a surgery that should remove a few more pounds from me.

I am seeing both a psychologist and a psychiatrist to handle a basket ful of emotional issues. few are strictly WLS related, but intertwined through periods and events in my life in a very complicated knot.