Wow – I can’t believe it’s been so long since I updated! I am still a volunteer photo editor for Obesity Help, but I don’t go on the boards or think about updating my profile much.

I seem to be settled in between 168 and 170 lbs. Not exactly where I had hoped to end up, but certainly nothing to be unhappy about. I’m a pretty good size 12 unless it’s a fitted waist – then I sometimes need a 14. Sizes are pretty unpredictable, though, since I still have some 10s that fit fine.

I’ve seen some old food/eating habits return and I’m sure they will be a lifelong battle. I like sweets and carbs, but can’t have them as much as I would like. I am able to eat more than I think I should, so I have to watch that also. I know it’s much less than I ate pre-op, but it’s scary. I worry that I’m eating too much and stretching out the pouch that will result in more weight gain…

I’ve come to terms with the fact that I will always be diabetic. I am not able to get rid of that last oral diabetes med, but one pill per day sure beats 2 shots and 4 pills! I try to be faithful in getting my vitamins and minerals in. I miss them once in a while, but not very often. (I saw recently, in the death of one of my support group members, the long-term effects of not getting them in. I don’t want to go there.)

I’m not satisfied with my lower body lift results, but I have to live with that too. The PS and I had words last month and could not agree on what a good outcome looked like. If I have additional surgery, it certainly won’t be with this PS, nor will I give him any referrals or positive recommendations. Certainly I am a far cry better off though – both physically and visually – than I was prior to PS.

I continue to work with the personal trainer. I’ve been with him almost 2 years and we know each other pretty well now. I need the constant accountability and I’m willing to pay for it. It’s an investment in me. (Left to my own devices, I still come up with lots of excuses not to exercise.)

Dating doesn’t seem to be any easier at size 12 than it was at 32. Makes me wonder if it’s my personality rather than my appearance… I signed up for eHarmony last month and so far none of my matches have clicked. It’s a “safe” way to start practicing with dating, since I have the dating experience of a preadolescent.

I saw someone today that I hadn't seen since WLS. It was kind of fun to have that positive reinforcement that was so plentiful in the first year. Next week I have an appointment at work with a vendor that I haven't seen in 8 years. That will probably be an ego-lifting experience too.