Where do I begin....

I have been struggling with my weight for so long. I started packing on the pounds in Junior High, even when my eating habits hadn't changed and I was still very active. At first it didn't bother me but as the weight continued to increase I started getting depressed. I felt unattractive and then I started eating more for comfort. By the end of my Senior year I was over 200lbs.

Once I entered my 20's I tried dieting and excersizing with no success. Then I got pregnant. I had some complications early on so I was placed on bedrest. On top of that I went through major withdrawl from all social activities and my depression was at its worst. I put on 40lbs. during the pregnancy but the worst was still yet to come.

I wasn't able to bounce right back after I had my son and I was still gaining weight. My mobility became an issue. I experienced pain in my legs, feet, and then my back. The weight kept increasing while my health was decreasing. By the time my son was 5 I was over 300lbs. My awakening came when the scale approach 350. I was 348 and terrified so I joined weight watchers.

I had some success but it was still very hard for me and the weight went down and then up again. 2 years later, I have gotten down to 315 and have maintained that weight for a while. But I desperately need to lose weight more than ever. My wight cost me my job and I had to go on long term disability and now I have just been approved for Social Security Disability but I don't want to be disabled because of my weight I will be 30 this year. I still have a lot of life to live and I don't want to live it morbidly obese.

To add to being obese I have been diagnosed with several ailments. Peripheral vascular disease, lymphedema, hypothyroidism, insulin resistance,  polycystic ovarian syndrome, sleep apnea, chronic back and hip pain, and major depression. I want to be able to play with my son, and run with him. I am tired of being the fat mom I want to be the 'Hot Mom'.

A few years ago I looked into bariatric surgery. I went to a couple of seminars but because my employer only will cover the surgery after 5 years of service, I wasn't able to do it. In december it will be 5 years but I plan to fight them to cover it because I want my life back and I dedicated enough years slaving for them and they didn't even want to accommodate a part-time schedule that my doc said I needed due to my illnesses. I have lost so much in addition to the income. Disability payments aren't enough to live on and my family has suffered long enough.