- Name: Linda J.
- Username: itsreallyme
- Location: MyTown, NY, USA
- Member Since: 2/17/2005
- BMI: 34.7
- Post Op
- Surgery Type: VSG (08/07/06)
- Surgeon: Michel Gagner
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2 YEAR SURGIVERSARY ~ OH HAPPY DAY!!!! on August 7, 2008 11:05 am
OH HAPPY DAY!!!!
Today I celebrate my re-birth-day, the day I got a second chance at life. The day that allowed me a means to escape the prison I found myself in...both physically and mentally.
Today I celebrate NORMALCY. For I look, and more importantly, I FEEL normal.
I have no fears of whether or not I can fit...in a chair, in a seat belt, in a booth, on a ride.
I have no fear of whether I will break a chair or ruin furniture because of my weight.
I have no fear of being stared at, or worse, being treated like I do not exist.
I no longer buy clothes 'because they fit'; I buy 'cause I like the style.
I can buy clothes in a REGULAR, as in 'normal', store.
I can walk my ass off at the mall and just suffer from ticket shock, rather than shooting pain.
I can climb two flights of stairs without gasping for air.
I can live without diabetes meds.
I can live without pain meds.
None of us are guaranteed tomorrow, but I know I have done everything I can to increase my chance of living a healthy, comfortable life without the fear of being a burden to those I love.
I am so thankful for this surgery; for the people who encouraged me; for the people who raised me up when my wings could not bear the challenge; for the compassion I've been shown. I have faced many challenges this year....and there are more to come...but I have the strength, both physically and mentally, because in the process of losing the weight, I have gained insight into who I am and a new-found respect for the person I am.
This is not just about losing weight, this is about re-birth. Embrace it!
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A View From Room 10....Hernia Repair and Tummy... on May 10, 2008 8:57 pm
It's almost 4 weeks since my hernia repair and tummy tuck surgery and I'm finally able to sit a bit and put my thoughts together. The pain and discomfort of the past 4 weeks has subsided considerably and I'm finally feeling like my old self.
I awoke in the recovery room panicking. My hands were tied so that I couldn't pull the breathing tube out of my throat. This is the second time in my life that this has happened...waking with this contraption down my throat....a most horrifying feeling.
Finally the breathing tube is removed and I am gasping for air. I tell the medical team I cannot breathe. They tell me, "no, you think you can't breathe....it's because we took the breathing tube out...it just feels like you can't breathe." No asshole, I can't freakin breathe, I reply. One smartass nurse chimes in that if I don't stop complaining, they'll put the breathing tube back down my throat. It took every bit of control for my dh to not deck the bitch.
I am screaming at these idiots that I can't breathe. I say that they either gave me something I am allergic to and my throat is closing up or there is a problem with my lungs, but I can't freakin breathe. So, they give me some benydril in my I.V.....actually quite a bit of benydril. Now I can't breathe and I'm having difficulty communicating because of the high dose of benydril.
FINALLY, a light bulb went off in someone's brain and they thought, hmmm, mighten she have a blood clot or two in her lungs!!!!! Yeah, well a scan showed 3 freakin blood clots! It was necessary for me to have a blood transfusion in order for me to be able to recoup. In addition, I became dehydrated in the OR and had to be filled with fluids, so much so, my sister didn't recognize me when she saw me in the Recovery Room. And, during the 5 hr surgery, my BP kept dropping very low.
This all brought me to Room 10 in the Critical Care Unit. A lovely view of the New York waterways....tugboats and barges passing; the Circle Line tour......this is where I stayed for 5 days in critical condition.
After a total of 9 days, I was released from the hospital. I will now have to be on coumadin, a blood thinner, for 6 months. I will also have to be monitored weekly...which means having a finger-prick blood test every week!
I'm left with many questions. Why wasn't I placed on blood thinners pre-op since it was known that the hernia and scar tissue was a very involved procedure as noted in the operating report of my VSG. Why did I have to plead for someone to listen to me when I was gasping for air? Why can't I savour a bit of luck when going for surgery?
I had a knee replacement which left me with pain when climbing stairs or if I walk for a long time. I had cataract surgery and the cataract is back. I had hernia surgery and got a second hernia. I had my hemrroids removed, yup.......
I still have to go back to the eye specialist for him to do laser to try and fix the cataract. Of course, I'm frightened as to the outcome.
As far as the tummy tuck is concerned...there is a section of the incision that is not healing as it should. it requires wound care 2 - 3 times a day. My stomach is flat!!!! But, I am swollen, as my mother would say, "down there"....the mon. Someone over at the plastics boards said to not worry, it's "Ken Doll" and it will go down. The surgeon also says to not worry....easy for them to say, I now have a flat stomach and a huge twazzola!
I love, love, love my plastic surgeon, Mark Schwartz. He is the most caring and available dr, besides having wonderful expertise. He called me the night my mom passed away just to give his condolences; sent me a lovely sympathy card. He visited me at the hospital every day but one and that day he called to say he was feeling under the weather, but wanted to know how I was doing. I highly recommend him.
OK, so here I am at almost 4 weeks post-op and since I am feeling much better, the buyer's regrets is passing quickly. Funny how when you are in the midst of pain, it's so difficult to see beyond the pain.
I went through a lot with this surgery, much more than I had anticipated. I literally had to fight for my life....but ya know what, I WON!
All is peaceful in my garden.
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My Mom Passed Away February 20th, 2008 on February 24, 2008 11:24 am
It all is surreal. I have questioned myself over and over the passed few days if this is really happening... Has mom truly passed away? Is it possible that this is true? Will I really not be able to hold her, and kiss her, and tell her I love her again? Today, I should have been coming home from the hospital, discharged after having had surgery. Instead, today I return from the cemetary having said my last good bye to my mom, a most special, gentle, and loving mom.
After being imprisoned, both mentally and physically, for 3.5 years, Mom has left this world to join my Dad, in Heaven.
Dementia robbed her of her thoughts, her memories, her ability to respond, her ability to communicate.... Paralysis robbed her of her ability to move, or walk, or dance.... But through it all the she maintained her feisty spirit; her sense of humor; her ability to show love; her wit.....
Mom was 3 months shy of her 95th Birthday.
I am the youngest of her three daughters. I lived in the same home with my parents my whole life. My parents owned a three-family house and when I married, I moved into an upstairs apartment....and this is where I stayed my whole adult life. This is where I raised my sons. We never separated. So, now at almost 60 years old, I am dealing with not only losing my mom, (dad passed in 2004), but also having to learn to live my daily life without her being a part of it....it doesn't seem possible. It's like saying, I will now begin living each day without air, or light, or water...it seems impossible.
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Plastics? Me? Who knew???? on February 19, 2008 10:14 am
So, here I sit with my thoughts....trying to recapture the amazing events and moments of the past 18 months. It's all so surreal....
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Who would have thought that I would be approaching my 60th birthday healthier than I've been in many, many years. Although I have the 'usual' pains of arthritis that hits most of us, unless I overdo it, my pains can be tolerated. NO diabetes.... NO sleep apnea.... NO spinal stenosis pain.... NO gasping for breath.... NO more feeling like my future was a wheelchair and medications... NO more do I live in that 'dark place'.
And now....Thursday, 21st of February 2008, I am having a freakin' tummy tuck! Something I never thought about. But since I need hernia repair...and I'm gonna already be in the OR....and I don't know what else to do with $9,000....hey, get a TT, but of course!!!!!
This has been an amazing ride....and the ride continues!
Life is Good
~~~PEANUT BUTTER RECIPES~~~ on November 3, 2007 8:45 am
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Protein Balls Recipe
The pb and oatmeal balls are VERY easy.
1 cup Peanut Butter (I use no-sugar-added Peter Pan)
1 cup rolled oatmeal -- not the instant stuff
1 cup protein powder (I use Matrix Chocolate, but you can use other flavors)
5 packets Splenda
Warm the peanut butter in microwave about 30-40 seconds -- it melts it and makes mixing in the other ingredients much easier. Add the oatmeal, protein powder, and Splenda and mix well. (If needed, you can add a little bit of water to make it easier to mix) Roll into walnut sized balls, refrigerate. Store in fridge in zip-lock baggies. This recipe makes 20-24 balls.
1 cup protein powder (chocolate or vanilla)
1 cup non-fat dry milk
1 cup rice crispy cereal
1 cup peanut butter
Splenda to taste
cocoa powder mixed with Splenda
Add the protein powder, dry milk, cereal and peanut butter in a mixing bowl. Mix thoroughly making sure that all the dry milk is in the mix and not visible. If you like it real sweet, add some more Splenda to fit your taste. Form the mixture into small balls ( about 1.5 inches in diameter) Roll in the cocoa/Splenda mix. Refrigerate. Each ball has about 10 grams of protein.
1 C. protein powder (I use Unjury chocolate)
1 C. non-fat dry milk
1 C. peanut butter (I use Healthy Balance Chunky)
2 tbsp Cocoa powder (I use Hershey's Unsweetened Dark Chocolate)
2 tbsp water
½ C. ground flax seed
½ C. rolled oats (don't use instant oats)
Splenda to taste
1 tsp. rum extract
Mix protein powder, milk powder, rum extract and peanut butter. When totally mixed, add flax and oats. Add enough water to moisten to allow you to form into one inch balls.
In separate bowl, mix splenda and cocoa. Roll each ball in cocoa mixture. Chill one hour before eating.
Makes about 12-15 balls. Apprx. 10 grams of protein per ball.
A little view into who I am and how I got here. I’m 58 years old and I’m married to a wonderful guy. This is my second marriage and we just celebrated our 11th Year Anniversary. My first marriage presented me with my most precious gifts, 2 great sons! I have 2 wonderful sisters and brother-in-laws and a bunch of nieces and nephews. My dad passed away in 2004 at the age of 93 years old. Mom has been bedridden and has dementia for 3 years now. She is 93 years old and lives in the same home as my husband and I. I have always been close to my parents, especially mom. It is very difficult to deal with her condition. There are days she doesn’t recognize me, and other days she thinks she is young and cries for her mother. I ask God to give us strength.
I have been overweight all my life. Baby photos, toddler photos, school photos, adult photos…there I am, the fattest. Fattest in my family, fattest in school, fattest among friends…and so very sad. I started diet pills early on, followed by any new diet fad, diet program, ‘diet doctors’…if you were told you would lose weight, I’d buy into it, no matter how silly it seemed.
Through the years I’ve developed medical conditions which my weight has either caused or contributed to. These conditions include spinal stenosis; arthritis of my knees, feet, and back; a failed knee replacement; hypertension; sleep apnea, carpal tunnel; bursitis in my hips and shoulders, and depression. When diabetes was added to my list of medical conditions, I knew I had to do something to regain my health, and it had to be different than what I had been doing.
I love to laugh and to make people laugh. Maybe that is to counteract the depression I have dealt with, of various degrees, throughout my lifetime.
I want to feel good. I want to be able to walk again; I want to be able to stand to cook and wash dishes; I want to shower without having to sit; I want to be able to do house cleaning; I want to climb stairs without feeling my heart is giving out; I want to stop perspiring; I want to be able to travel and sightsee on foot; I want to fit in an airplane seat; I want to fit in a restaurant booth; I WANT TO THROW AWAY MY MEDICATIONS!
I began researching weight loss surgery at ObesityHelp. After reading profiles and seeing myself in the words before me; and crying for their pain as I did for mine; and seeing the positive results weight loss surgery could bring; I knew I found my vehicle to renewed health. This is my journey.....