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  • Username: jac4cy
  • Location: Des Moines, IA, USA
  • Member Since: 4/30/2008
  • BMI: 39.5
  • Learning about surgery
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Goals

Get into a great Graduate level Graphic Design program!

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Be comfortable in front of the camera rather than behind

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Be able to shop in "normal" clothing stores

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Wear high heeled boots that come up to the knee.

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not be the fat friend

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My Story

Fortunately, I wasn't really overweight as a child.  In fact, I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted and not gain a pound (I was actually tested to make sure I didn't have a tape worm - no joke!).  Unfortunately, the fact that I was able to eat whatever and the fact that I had an insatiable appetite eventually caught up with me in my early teen years.  I can actually remember the first time it was publicly brought to my attention that I was a bigger girl.  I was on an All-Star softball team in 7th grade and had twisted my ankle while sliding into a base.  The assistant coach came out to help me off the field and while she was holding me as I hopped to the dugout she made it very clear that she thought I was "big boned" for my age.  Translation - you're a fatty little girl.  That's when my battle with food began.  I went on a very strict diet of only lean meat (chicken, turkey), veggies, and fruit.  Absolutely no fat or carbs or dairy - not the healthiest way to eat when you are still maturing.  This strict eating would eventually lead to me binging - then dieting - then binging - then dieting.  I never threw up, but it was a similar process to bulimia.  Because of this, I was able to maintain a pretty stable, normal weight through high school.  Then I went to college - and I gained the freshman 20, the sophomore, 20, and so on.  During this time I have been to a number of nutritionists, doctor's, psychologists (that's when I was diagnosed with my eating disorder).  I have lost some of the weight with various programs, but gained it all back plus.  As of today I weigh in at 216 pounds - and I am only 5'2".  I'm 25 and it hurts to walk up the stairs; I sweat doing simple household chores; and I am starting to have reproductive problems.  I have so many goals I still want to accomplish, but I feel like my weight holds me back.  I can't walk into a room without feeling like an ogre.  I desperately want to lose the weight for good so I am able to live the rest of my life to its fullest.

My mother has been morbidly obese my entire life.  I look at all the hardship and hurt she has been through because of her weight and I know that I don't want my future children to have to see me like that.  While right now I am a "light weight" in OH standards - I fear that without the intervention of surgery I won't be for long.  I would rather have the surgery while I am young instead of waiting until I am older (and probably fatter) and say to myself "why didn't I do it earlier?"