Well today, is my one month anniversary and I have lost 33 pounds so far. I will be honest to say that I was trying to get more off like some of my OH friends, but I begin to really think about what is really important. I have a few friends whom I work with that shows me their waist or how they can eat what they want now( keep in mind they are less than a year out). At this point, I began a little iriitated about what they were saying and I realize that I can't judge others for their choices. However, I can learn from them. This is when I begin to realize how much weight I needed to lose internally as well. You know the " man, I want some fast food, candy, chips, pop, and I dont feel like working out"..... that weight.

Now people want to say it's the easiest way out, think again. I have changes so much internally from this experience, and only a month out. I told a OH friend of mind, how its totoally helping me slow things down and enjoy. Not just with eating, but with life journey. I realize how much my weight blocked so many things like socially, mentally,emotionally, physically and in my career. And in a month so much has been revealed, I asked GOD a few weeks ago to teach me to appreciate the beuatiful trees, people laughter, smiles, gentle gestures, and he totally did. Everyday, my soul is filled with joy because I not so consumed about what I am going to eat, wear, or why can't i look like this or that. Its just sings  constantly" I can see clearly now the rain is gone, I can see all the obstacle in my way, and what gone is the dark clouds that had me blind.Blind to this beautiful person , that I am totally falling in love with everyday..... Myself. I am greatful , that this self- love GOD is teaching me isn't "Physical" because I look like this or that but unconditional love. For a long time, I wanted to love myself more, and who would have ever that a WLS could help me mentally remove the moutian that blocked my "bright day".

 I am not vain, nor arrogant, but I love myself. I didn't know who I really was because I didn't want to know me because of how I looked, and now that I can't turn to food all I have is me...... and I tell you nothing else taste better than that.

**** I pray that my journey will bless others to the path of SELF love, not arrogance, vainity, but simple "Love thyself".

I finished the entire process for my surgery. I am just wating for approval. I also found out that I am Vitamin D deficient and I have to take 50,000 IU of Vitamin D  once a week for six week to bring it up. So I was excited to know that those were the only thing that was deficient. I have Blue cross Blue Shield for Federal Employees so hopefully it wont be long. However, I still wont be able to have it untill the end of Feb or March of 2008. I have to finish a Algebra class for the Nursing Program I will be in next August. I am so excited about my new beginning, it has given me hope and energy to start conquering things I put off.