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Surgeon Testimonial Alec C. Beekley, M.D. I haven't had the surgery yet so I can not attest to his bedside manor. So far so good though. He is very patient and takes his time with all my silly questions. He is no longer in Fort Campbell though, he is now at Fort Lewis, Madigan Hospital. I will write more after my surgery, I should know a little more then. Member Interests
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Jackie's Blog
Just the nonsensical rantings of a fragmented mind! LOL OMG, OMG, Oh My GAWD!
5 Days! Only 5 Days! It is just hitting home that I'm having surgery in 5 Freaking Days! So Many questions running through my head. Am I doing the right thing? I am doing this for my health right? I'm not really as big as the doctors are saying, am I? I'm not going to leave my husband alone to raise our two children am I? I know I can't truely answer any of these, but this is what is going through my head. I was so certain, I am so certain that this surgery is what I need and that it is for me. It's just I'm so afraid. I don't even think I'm afraid of dieing. I'm afraid of failing. My insecurities, etc. are coming through thinking that I'll be the one person in 100 that fails. I keep thinking I'll lose 10 pounds, maybe, and that will be it. I know I'm being completely unreasonable, but I don't know anyother way! My husband is feeding me so much, stuffing me like a Christmas Goose. I've had people basically snap at me saying that I'm basically going to fail because I'm letting him get away with this now. (The messages probably didn't mean anything near that, but in my frantic mind that's what they said.) Am I going to fail because I'm giving in to him because I want him to feel in control of something. Oh why, oh why did I post a stupid message anyways? I should just keep things to myself. SIGH! You see I've never been really good at accepting compliments or criticism. I've always been that girl with the popular crowd that hung in the back. I wasn't the leader, and I wasn't really a follower. I was invited to the parties, but decided to stay home most nights. Sorry, wow, that was some tangent! LOL! You'll notice that about me, I tend to get 'Lost' sometimes, especially when my mind is on a thousand different things. You know what I might be completely terrified, but I'm still going to just sit here and dance. No use dwelling on something so out of control anyways!     
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