I posted a few days ago saying how great my surgery went.  What I didn't add was a situation that lasted the first three days that made me feel humiliated.  I'm ready to talk about it now, but other than a couple of people who know me in the "real world" only those of you who read this will know.

The first time I had to go to the bathroom after my surgery I realized that I needed help cleaning up.  The nurses graciously helped, but I couldn't help but tell them sorry everytime that they did it because I hated asking for help doing that.  I had help with that until Thursday evening and then I was okay to do it on my own.  

Late Friday morning JJ came to pick me up to go home.  We took a walk around the floor and shortly after we got back to my room my tummy started to gurgle.  I had a feeling that I knew what was coming so I made sure to get into the bathroom.  I finally was able to have my first bowel movement since surgery and when I tried to clean myself up I realized that I wasn't able to do so.  JJ was standing outside of the bathroom just in case I needed help.  I told him that I did and he came in to help me.  As I was standing there bent over allowing him to help me I couldn't help but cry.  I was so humiliated at the fact that my own husband had to help me clean up after going to the bathroom.  It was at that point that I felt like a child.  It didn't seem to bother him in the least at what he was doing and told me not to worry about it.  Until Saturday night he had to help me a total of four times.  Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to have to ask your spouse for help wiping your butt because of the fact that you can't reach it yourself?  I cried each time that he helped me because of the humiliation I felt.  Each time, he consoled me by telling me that he didn't mind doing it and he never once belittled me for having to help me.

I've always known how wonderful he is, but to have helped me the way he did made me realize even more what a prince of man he truly is.  Any spouse that can help wipe your tushy in a time of need is someone who will be there for life.  In sickness and in health.....that's what we pledged to one another 10 1/2 years ago and he's been amazing in the "sickness" aspect of our relationship.  He's always so good to me and I don't feel like I deserve him sometimes.  We are a perfect match for each other and I am so thankful that I had him with me during my surgery and he's been so wonderful these past six days.  He's going back to work tomorrow and I'm going to miss him like crazy.  

God blessed me ten times over when he brought JJ into my life and it's a gift from Him that I will cherish for the rest of my life.

My surgery went very well.  The doctor said that there were no problems.  He thought that he may have had to take my gall bladder out, but he said that it was the nice color of blue that it should be.  I was so happy to find out that I did indeed have my surgery as a lap procedure instead of being open.  My doctor prefers the lap procedure, but does an open if necessary.

When I woke up in recovery the nurse that was with me told me that my surgery was over and where I was at.  I asked her if it was really done and she very sweetly said yes.  I then remember saying, "I'm a loser" and her response to that was, "no sweetie, that's not very nice to say about yourself,"  LOL.  I told her that was a good thing and then said that I was so happy.  I remember constantly saying that I was a loser and that I was happy.  I could hear the nurses giggling when I was saying that.  At one point I must have been muttering because another nurse asked my nurse what I was saying and she told her that I was just very happy.....lol.  My angel, Jill, called and was able to talk to my nurse and she also told her how happy I was.  What a goofball I become when under the good meds....lol.

I was told, while in recovery, that they were waiting for a room for me since my insurance covered private rooms.  Well, after four hours of waiting in recovery I went to my room and found out that I had a roommate.  So much for the private room.  The girl I was with (Misty) was very nice though so it made the time as nice as could be.  She had her surgery done 2 1/2 years ago (how ironic since mine should have been that long ago originially) and she had lost 230 pounds.  She was suffering with a lot of complications the last few months and this go around she was in for a reversal.

My favorite nurse was Gracie.  She was the sweetest woman and I just adored her.  She reminded me before stepping onto the scale the day after my surgery that I would gain some weight because of the anethesia and the gas.  Well, she was right.....I had gained six pounds.  But, by the next day I was down five of those six pounds.  

I stopped taking my pain meds around noon the day after my surgery and actually I did not pick up any at the pharmacy when I got home.  The only pain I usually have is when I get up from sitting on the chair or couch.  Other than that I mainly have a strong discomfort when I start walking at first, but it goes away fairly quickly.  Amazingly enough my back is already 90% better!  I can actually walk without barely feeling any pain and that just astounds me.  My food intake has been going well so far.  I've been getting in close to 50g of protein and I'm working on getting my water intake in.  Who knew it could be so hard to drink so much during the day.  I've noticed so far that I prefer water when it is icy icy cold.  And anything orange flavored....yuck!  

I am so happy about my surgery being over and that I am finally on the road to my new healthy lifestyle.  This is going to be one fun ride!