ObesityHelp

Found out last friday I was denied a tummy tuck by the ins co.  Whether I am going to appeal or not is still up in the air.  I have other crap on my plate right now and to be honest, I guess I don't really care one way or another if I get this skin removed.  Sure it'd be nice, but I figure I destroyed my body all by myself, so if this is my cross to bear because of it, so be it.

I find I can eat anything now...it's bittersweet and has me a bit paranoid cuz I dont want to go back to where I was.  I'm still very much a food addict and I know its not impossible to see weight get back on me.

As always, life must go on. 

I am finally in a relationship with an amazing woman!  And I can honestly say I've never been this happy in my whole life!  And I know I'd never be confident enough to be with anyone if I was still heavy.  I can't believe this same time last year I was still above 300!  What a mind fuck that is!!!!!!!!!!  But damn, I'm so happy!!! :)

Still having issues with my wound on my rear.  Gonna see a specialist in a week or so, so that's a relief.  Hopefully we can put an end to all my suffering and I can finally get on with my life.  Cuz this not working shit is for the birds!!!

I hope whomever reads this is doing well, whether you're pre-op or post....just know, TRUST ME ON THIS, life does get better! :)  Would I lie to you? 

Easy come, easy go.  It doesn't look like I'll be getting my tummy tuck any time soon.  :(  Wah.  But oh well.  I got what I really wanted and that was the surgery to lose the weight in the first place.  If a tummy tuck is meant to be, it'll happen...someday.

It appears I MIGHT POSSIBLY be getting my TT next month.  I'm afraid to get too excited about it cuz I have to wait and see if I even get insurance to cover it.  If they don't...no sweat.  If it's meant to be, it'll happen.  It'd just be super cool if it happened sooner than later. LOL!  I will for surely tell everyone if it ends up happening...AND I will post some gross before, and eventually AFTER pics. :) 

My weight has been in limbo for a while.  I'm constantly at 201...can't seem to get past it!  And then yesterday morning my son broke my scale (accidently) so I will have to wait for a bit before I know if I've hit onderland yet or not.  At least I know if I get my TT, obviously I'll dip closer to my goal weight. 

But for now, I gotta chill about it.  No sense in getting too happy just yet.

Hope all is well for everyone and that your losses are high and your butts are shakin! WOO!  Isn't this whole journey one giant mind fuck? 

Well it has been for me! :)

PEACE

Well we got moved into our new apartment, and for the most part I like it a lot.  Sure there is a posessed child that lives below us who screams bloody murder 24/7, but oh well.  Kids usually grow out of those obnoxious stages.  Afterall, I think he's only 18 months, so what the hell could I possibly do or say to make him stop acting his age? Really? LOL!

I've been desperately seeking employment now that we're settled...but of course, I have to have another damn surgery.  This one is going to be on the 28th of this month and it's going to be, yet again, work on my ass.  I've had issues with this damn pilonidal cyst for 2 years and counting.  There is so much fluid built up and pain...its just disgusting.  And here I am, with a new bod, sure its not perfect, but so what, and I want to get out there and date and hopefully have sex again before I die.  That's gonna have to continue sitting on the backburner for an indefinite amount of time. *sigh*  I'm also still having issues with psoriasis.  yay me.  But at least I've finally seen a dermatologist and am recieving light therapy and so far its working.  Unfortunately tho, THAT TOO will have to be put on hold when surgery time is here.  grand.   Needless to say, this holding pattern I've been in for over a decade, is getting more than OLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!   I pray and pray and pray that this time things will finally heal properly and I can start living OUTSIDE of the home.  I need a break from this!

Haven't seen my surgeon for a very long time.  I really have no desire to.  He's a moron and I don't like how he treats his patients...well me at any rate.  I guess if I ever need to see a surgeon for RNY issues, I'll just go back to the guy who fixed my strictures.  He's my surgeons partner, and not only is he HAWT, he's super nice, and actually talks to me. 

I have a few bad habits going on at the moment...and I don't recommend them to anyone.  I've got an addiction now to Fun Dip...you know those little packets of sugar with the sugar stick to dip it in.  Yeah, i'm eating that shit.  Why?  Fuck if i know.  Haven't been gaining weight, but then not losing real fast anymore either. LOL...god i'm stupid as hell.  The last time i weighed myself I was 211...that was last week? maybe?  I'm afraid to check again in case I've gained.  I need to quit that sugar shit cuz I'm just going to shoot myself in the foot otherwise.
My other sin...discovered I can drink diet coke without issue.  So stupid.  BUT, since I can't work for a while, I'm not really going to be having a lot of money, so out with the pop cuz I DONT NEED IT.  Jeez, whats wrong with me? 

I am still eating shrimp, and cheesey raviolis and getting my protein mainly thru food.  I'm finally getting my vitamins in on a regular basis...yay jen!  And the smoking...well if my 20 year old daughter would quit, it'd be way easier for me to.  I dont smoke very often, just mainly on the weekends...but still, c'mon and quit already. 

My sleep patterns are getting better.  I am having to share a room with my daughter at this new place, which is OK for the most part...but she doesn't have to get up in the AM like I do, so she tends to stay up all night and I end up sleeping in the living room. LOL!  I just know if the roles were reversed, she'd be pissed as hell at me for being so rude.  But being the peacekeeper that I am, I don't say a word.  I'm sure that'll change come the end of the month when i'm hurting after surgery and just want some peace and quiet and sleep in my own bed.  ( I didn't think both beds would fit in that room on moving day and broke down crying until I figured it out...I really didn't want a bed in the dining room LOL)

We finally got all the boxes unpacked and the pictures all hung up and its looking really cute in here.  Wish I could have the world over to see how nice it all looks.  LOL!  Ever feel like that when you're proud of something?  I'll be happier when i'm working tho and dont have to worry about money issues anymore.  I wanna put those worries to bed once and for good!

Well folks...I guess I don't have anything else to report.  Just wanted to get NOW documented for when I look back on it later. 

I hope whomever is reading this is doing great!  And if anyone ever needs anything, I will do what I can to help. :)

Take care all!