grr

Sep 29, 2011

 dear world,
Kindly stop telling me I can't/shouldn't/better not lose any more weight. its very annoying. my weight has been stable +/- 5 pounds since April. butt out.
Greatly appreciated
20 comments

Un-Welcome Food Nazis

Sep 19, 2011

 I find I am still intensely emotional about food. I hate it when people (ones I don’t know well or at all) come up to me when I’m eating and ask what it is. Not because I’m afraid they’ll ask for some and take it away, though that does annoy me to a degree as I carefully plan out my meals to have a well-balanced diet. No, it’s a bit deeper than that. When people stare at my food or at me when I am eating I feel judged. I always have, I can’t help it. When I was younger, I felt I was constantly judged for eating too much, in my diabetic years I felt judged by all those smug-non-diabetics who asked “Should you really be eating that?” Now that I’ve lost all my excess weight and am no longer diabetic I still get asked that. Apparently once you have weight loss surgery you aren’t supposed to eat anything tasty ever again. Who knew?!  I don’t deprive myself, if I want something, I have some, and it’s not the end of the world. My stopping point is light-years behind where it used to be and I know what will happen if I mess up long term. Believe me, I won’t be doing anything to risk my diabetes coming out of remission. So why are people so freaking nosy about what I eat? This is why I don’t eat in the lunch room. I eat at my desk, but that doesn’t stop my co-workers from coming up and staring at my food while I’m trying to eat it, of course they also pick up whatever book I am reading off my desk and comment on that. Also annoying. People today have no concept of personal space. Am I overreacting? Is this just another case of a skinny girl casing with a food-hoarding fat girl inside? Am I ever going to get over people asking me “should you eat that?” “Are you really going to eat the much food?” (this usually from people who know i had the surgery but don't know much about it) and “Aren’t you afraid you’ll gain it all back if you eat things like that?”

Who knows, maybe I’m just crazy.

26 comments

The Difference A Year Can Make

Sep 14, 2011

 Holy Crap! I just got weighed and measured at the gym. They also gave me my results from a year ago and the difference a year has made is unbelievable, if I wasn’t living in this body I wouldn’t believe it to be possible. I think I’m still in shock, but I’ll push through it and tell you what I’ve accomplished.

I had my gastric bypass 7/19/2010, I started going to Curve’s September 22, 2010 (might have been a week earlier, I had a pass) I used to go 5 days a week, I still strive for that, but I took 3 weeks off to deal with my medical issue and still these be the measurements. I’ve also stopped doing Zumba in the Circuit since my instructor got fired, but I bought it for Wii, hopefully I’ll pick that up again soon.

Area                                      9/2010         9/2011           Difference

Bust                                   43”                    35.5”               -7.5”

Waist                                37.75”               28”                  -9.75”

Abdomen (over gut)      41.75”                33.25”             -8.5”

Hips (over butt)               39.75                 34.25              -5.5”

Thigh                                22”                     18.5”                -3.5”

Bicep                                13.25”                10”                   -3.25”

Weight                              190#                  126#                 -64#

BMI                                    31.6                   21.0                   -10.6

Body Fat%                        35.2%               17.8%               -17.4%

Yeah, I’ve lost half of my body fat%, how freaking bizarre is that? I can see it, but seeing the numbers is rather shocking to me. I’m ecstatic over these results, really I am. Curve’s did for me what I needed it to do my first year out from surgery. Now that my contract is up, I’m just going month to month. I’ll start looking for another gym with more options/variety after I move, because I’m getting bored with the circuit. Zumba was helping alleviate that boredom, but no one makes me sweat like Britt did (and no one will give me free classes as she did either).

Now then, I know yesterday I said I weighed 125, but that’s nekkid, first thing in the morning after I pee and before I shower or drink anything. This weight was done on a scale that’s a few pounds over, and I was wearing clothes, and I’d showered, AND had some protein shake in me. Now I’m curious what my actual first weight of the day is, I’ll have to check tomorrow and let you know.

21 comments

Up, Down, and All Around

Sep 14, 2011

 So, I know you've all been on tenterhooks waiting for my latest update.... riiiiiiiiiiight. here ya go anyway

Mom's visiting, so far she hasn't driven me nuts. She's either behaving better or the Wellbutrin is working
My family and I will be moving into my parents WV house in the spring (they live in NM now but still own the house in WV, we're going to rent it for less than our condo payment and rent out the condo). We'll have 3 bedrooms upstairs and 2 downstairs, my brother is moving back from NM to rent the basement from us.
Why are we waiting til Spring might you ask? An excellent question. Mom came home with every intention of booting her current squatter... err tenant who doesn't pay his rent. Got there (I went too) she'd BSed with him for about an hour and then started talking eviction. First is was 40 days, then it was "oh how about November 15th, since that's when i moved in?" followed by "If i start paying you $250 a week starting this week, can I stay until the first of the year?" and she's letting him. I doubt she even told him if he misses a payment he has to leave. Moron. So the house should be vacant at the beginning of the year, so why aren't we moving then? Another excellent question. The house is on a freaking mountain and I am not moving to it in the dead of winter. We get crazy amounts of snow. Considering I lived there (off and on) for 16 years I know first hand how bad winter can be. So we'll wait. Dad will come home and install an alarm system in the house for the time the house is sitting empty. On non-craptastic weekends we will likely be at the house prepping for our move, getting crap out of our condo and the like. I need to put to mom the suggestion that she let my brother move back at the first of the year so that the house doesn't sit empty.
So with this new home, I get to start thinking about having our second and final kid (yay!) Very excited about that.

I've hit my new lowest weight at 125, that's exciting. Unfortunately, I hit that weight due to the fact that antibiotics now make me ill. never experienced nausea with those before. Why was I on antibiotics you ask? Didn't I have surgery to get healthier? I did, but now I get new and exciting (extreme sarcasm) health concerns. Three weeks ago i discovered I had a Bartholin's cyst. It's a cyst inside the wall of the vagina generally the size of a pea. Mine was the size of a Jumbo egg. They stabbed me and cut in places that have no business ever getting stabbed or cut. The cyst made it very painful for me to sit down. Five days after they drained it, it came back, same size, a little further back, sitting was now impossible. So I went in, they drained it again and put a catheter in it so it wouldn't close. I had that in for two weeks and just got it out yesterday. Now I have to clean the hole it left behind with a q-tip and peroxide! Will the torture ever end???? I don't even know when I can have sex again. three and a half weeks without is driving me nuts.
So I was wearing size 5 undies up until recently, now they hang off my butt, makes me constantly worried I'm going to lose them. I searched for size 4 and the selection was suckalicious. So now I own sz 16 undies, from the kids department. i don't know how i feel about that. They are solid colors and some patterns, so don't you fret about me wearing Hannah Montana or Barbie, though I'd totally wear some My Little Pony or Rainbow Brite if I found them ;)
Last week was pretty crazy, the house was on Tuesday, when I got home we ended up having to take our 17 year old cat to be put down (she wasn't getting up and my husband was spoon feeding her). That loss was terrible and it was the first time either of us were forced to put an animal down (parents always took care of it before). So I'm finally feeling less like I murdered an innocent child, but I still miss her. Our other cat is apparently the one peeing blood. i hope we don't lose her too.
Thursday was my cousins bachelorette party, and that was awesome, Friday i took off work to help prep for the big backyard wedding (I mostly was in charge of flowers, procuring pots upon pots of mum, covering the pots with shiny foil paper, tying on ribbons, and putting together he throw away bouquet.) the night ended with a crab feast. DS does not care for crabs and kept trying to leave the table. Saturday was the wedding and it was beautiful, the rain finally stopped for my cousin and I was so happy. Sunday I cleaned pretty intensely, Monday DH and I went to Baltimore to see Within Temptation (be very jealous) and even though Sharon was losing her voice, the performance was still pretty spectacular.
Today I finally went back to the gym (avoided it during the time of the cyst since most of the machines you sit on) and plan to start going back as regularly as I did before this came up.

Well, I think that's everything. DH and I still have one more grocery store to hit and we are planning to do that tonight, so  should probably go see if he's ready...

2 comments

About Me
Harpers Ferry, WV
Location
22.5
BMI
RNY
Surgery
07/19/2010
Surgery Date
Oct 21, 2010
Member Since

Before & After
rollover to see after photo

Friends 186

Latest Blog 4
grr

×