JennaKopanyi

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 I’ve heard it said, or at least read, people can walk by mirrored surfaces and not recognize themselves. It’s happened to me, but only once or twice, on days I was looking especially thin and pretty.

I tend to remove myself from past unpleasantness, not to the degree of ignoring it, rather, I see it as I’ve moved on and I try not to dwell in the past. I believe this has helped me to accept my new body, to embrace it, and to claim it for myself.

I look back at pictures of myself, and that’s the person I do not recognize… I don’t understand what went through my head, why I thought that body was sexy, to me it really is not. I don’t know how I let myself get so unhealthy. As I was getting used to my new body I had trouble with shifting my conception of personal beauty, I worried I looked better with a rounder face, I was afraid I looked unhealthy in the other extreme. My self-image is constantly evolving, but it’s working out for the better. I’m learning to love my body, I love the things I can do now, I love not taking insulin, and I am super excited to start planning for my next baby!!

Nope, the thought of pregnancy does not terrify me. It’s not going to “mess up” my body. I’ve already got stretch marks and loose skin, I’ll fill out, I’ll have life inside of me, and when (s)he comes out I’ll have a new child to care for in addition to getting back where I was physically prior to pregnancy. I’m actually looking forward to seeing if my boobs fill back out, if my tummy get better, it’s certainly not going to get any worse.