Hey all!  My name is Jessica, and I had open RNY on 07/11/06.  I was 19 years old.  My highest weight was 268 pounds and weighed 256 the day of my surgery.  Where do I begin with my story?

I remember when I started my very first diet.  I was 7 and weighed 120 pounds.  I remember my mom was going to help me lose weight, but she wasn't allowed to let ANYONE know how much I weighed.  I was ashamed and embarassed by it then.  My sister found out, made fun of me, and embarssed me to no end.  Then there are different I guess landmarks in my life that I went thru when I can distinctly remember how much I weighed and how old I was.  In fourth grade I was up to 141 pounds and I was only 9.  Then again in seventh grade I weighed 206.  My weight has always been a huge part of my life.  I think its so sad that I remember these things.  I let my weight define who I was and the value I had as a person. 

I tried dieting all thru my childhood and during my teenage years.  The only real organized diet I did was weight watchers.  All the other times I watched my calories and exercised.  I would always start out so strong and do so well for two weeks, but then would always fall off track.  I had absolutely no will power.  That was my biggest downfall.  But after I got off track it was always, "I'll start my new diet Monday."  Unfortunetly the only thing that work for me was my junior year of high school I decided I just wouldn't eat.  I had just turned 17 and was really getting into boys, but knew that no boy was going to like me weighing 250 pounds.  So for four months I just didn't eat.  And when I did it wasn't much.  I remember getting satisfaction out of that hungry feeling.  It made me feel like I was finally getting control of my body.  I got down to 217 pounds and then met my now ex-boyfriend.  He loved me for me and didn't care what i looked like, so slowly I started eating more again.  I honestly don't think i could ever be anorexic.  Once I had somebody's approval for the way I looked, I turned around and went right back to food.

And then I just ballooned up to 268 pounds.  

I started researching weight loss surgery in April of 2006 I believe.  I went to a informational meeting with LivLite and met the surgeon and just learned more about the surgery.  After I let I KNEW this was what I needed to do for myself.  I needed to get my weight under control.  I submitted my papers to LivLite and they contacted my insurance company.  Within a week I was approved.  They made it SOO easy!  I was kind of suprised I was approved so quickly because I didn't have any problems really related to my weight.  I had border line high blood pressure, but nothing really yet.  I was so realived to find out they approved me!  I met with the nutrisionist and my surgeon, and I got the date of July 11, 2006.  I only had to wait one month to have surgery!  The time flew by and the next thing I knew, I was being wheeled in for surgery.  

I remember waking up in ICU thinking to myself, what did I just do to myself?  I was so out of it and in so much pain.  When I finally came too (and quit making passes at the nurses...that was embarassing!) I just remember not being able to move or to even breathe.  I was hooked up to everything and its mother and it took me awhile to grasp everything that had happened in the previous 4 hours.  The sweet nurses wrapped me in a brace to hold my insides in and then made me walk.  I probably looked like death walking, I knew I felt like it.  I went in for surgery on a Tuesday morning, and they released me out of the hospital that Saturday afternoon.  I was out of work for 4 weeks, and I got to stay with my momma that whole time!  She and my sister took sooo good care of me!  I don't know what I'd do without them.

Well there you have it...I think...