Joel Enbom's Profile

Not Much to Say
on May 23, 2007 4:38 pm

Wednesday, May 23rd, 2007 - 273 lbs.

Really. Not much to say at all. Everything is good and uneventful. :)

Maybe I'll complain tomorrow.

Rosy
on April 26, 2007 5:47 pm

Thursday, April 26, 2007 – 283lbs.

Good afternoon, pals. I’m having a simply lovely day. I feel particularly alert and sharp, with a bonus spring in my step that exists for no particular reason and to fill no particular need. Things are just good today.

I think it might have something to do with viewing “Harold and Kumar go to White Castle” last night. I really enjoyed that film despite my contrary expectations. The stranger at the bush has had me giggling all day, today. Of course, I got to watch the movie in my spiffy (yet still trashy) home theater on the BIG SCREEN with the whole THX sound thing going on. Now, granted, a talky comedy isn’t the best movie to see in such a setting, but it’s still pretty cool way to spend an evening at home.

I bought new $9 pants from Stupid Prices. How cool is that?! I’d gotten used to the premium that I’ve had to pay for the privilege of finding clothes that fit me, but I’m into a “standard” pant-size now, 42x32, so I can wear the cheap stuff. This is good. In years past, I had a tendency to “cling” to the items of clothing that actually fit me comfortably (hey, that statement’s sorta funny, actually), which meant that I only regularly wore the same two pairs of pants and the same three shirts over and over again. Laundry duty sucked, if nothing else. I keep meaning to get back to the store to pick up a few more of the cheap pants, but I haven’t yet fully acquired the whole clothes-shopping habit. It’ll come, though, and when it does I’m buying pointy shoes, because that’s what Esquire says I should wear.

I think I’m finally off of my Tim’s Cascade Chips habit. Six more big bags of Oberto Teriyaki Turkey Jerky were consumed, however. I’ve also finished my Big Mac fixation. I’m facing a bit of a challenge when trying to choose an on-the-road lunch, now, though. Not much really sounds good ever. This, too, shall pass.

I had my second bout of WLS-related vomiting last week. Doesn’t everyone want to hear about that? Of course they do. I ate some teriyaki chicken (I make an awesome Teriyaki/Tempura dinner, btw) and then I ate some more. Within thirty minutes, I felt over-full and an unpleasant pressure/irritation at what I think is the base of my esophagus—not too dissimilar from the feeling I get when I know I’ve got a burp ready to be born, except the burp doesn’t come. So, of course, I tried to coax the burp upward, by swallowing air, laying on my stomach, etc., but to no avail.

Eventually, I threw up a mucous-y, amorphous blob of stuff, but this was, clearly, not the redux of my wonderful dinner, as there was—how should I say it—nothing substantial amid the goo. Another 30 minutes of discomfort followed and another round of unsuccessful attempts to expel a simple belch. But, then, EUREKA ! I had a good old-fashioned, full-on vomit which seemed almost explosive, the way dinner suddenly came up all at once.

My theory, of course, is that the little, well-chewed bites of Japanese chicken that I ate turned into a big semi-solid ball of chicken on the OTHER SIDE of the silastic ring that Dr. Heap installed. Attempts to regurgitate the chicken were foiled by the relative narrow passage through the ring until, finally, the chicken ball squeezed through the ring and made its way to the toilet a second later.

Relief was immediate. I was a little distressed by the subsequent trickle of blood coming from my nose. But my wife assured me that vomiting can sometimes cause one to rupture blood-vessels, creating a bloody nose. I’ll take her explanation for the time being.

As I wrote a few paragraphs earlier, this has happened before, a couple of months ago. On that night, I’d had my first red-meat steak since the surgery and the chronology described above happened in almost the exact same way. I’m discovering, I think, that I have to be more sensitive to the amount of dense protein I eat at any given time. I’ve not had a problem tolerating meat, at all, but I suspect that if I overdo the quantity I might experience this again. Anyway, it’s all just semi-educated guessing at this point.

On this day, however, all is rosy and thoughts of barf-y evenings are not going to occupy me in the slightest once I finish today’s entry here. Thanks to those of you who’ve offered support. And thanks, also, to those who’ve given me support without even knowing it.

Be sorta good. J

The Bluest Skies I've Ever Seen are in Yakima
on April 14, 2007 6:14 pm

Saturday, April 14th, 2007, 286 lbs.

All the good things happen to me. :) Take today for instance. After a lengthy drive over the majestic Cascade Mountains, I finally got to meet some of Dr. Heap's finest patients at the monthly support group meeting. I was greeted with the looks of surprise I'd hoped for as I showed up to a room full of lovely women with friendly smiling faces. Women I'm accustomed to. I'm even lucky to hang out with my share of lovely women. Smiling women, however, are a rarer treat in my life and I'm grateful to have met so many today.

And what a treat to actually talk about the whole Heap-iffied WLS experience with others who've also been through it. Frankly, I wish I would have shut up and listened a little more because I value the knowledge that all were so kind to share with me.

We've, combined, lost over 1KLB! For a moment, I tried to imagine a heaping (ha!) stack of blubber in the room that weighed that amount. Shortly thereafter, I tried desperately to rid that thought from my impressionable mind.

While I was gone, my wife shopped. Oh. There's a surprise. At least she didn't pick up any knick-knacks (sp?).

Nan was kind enough to give me directions to Ellensburg via Canyon Drive. Just my kind of road--sheer cliffs and the ever-present danger of a messy death. Thanks for the tip, Nan. And 45mph? Bah! (And, by the way, the Nan-as-leprechaun image has been completely replaced by the Nan-as-Fonzie image. The urge to throw her a thumbs-up and cooly shout "Ayyyyyyy" as she motored by was overwhelming.)

I'm definitely going to have to find Miner's. In exchange for the tip about Miner's (yes, I know I'm probably spelling it wrong), Kari, I'll give you directions to Fat Smitty's by Discovery Bay on the Olympic Peninsula.

Anyway, the drive home was uneventful. I've been getting into books-on-CD lately, and saw the five hours of drive time as an opportunity to start a new one, "Intensity" by Dean Koontz. When I left my car for the meeting, Laura was in grave danger. When I returned to my car after the meeting, she was dead. Poor Laura.

Ellensburg is really windy. That's awesome.

Now for the typical Joel-update sorta thing. I'm down to 286 lbs, from my post-op weight of 410. I'm not eating particularly healthy foods and enjoying more of them than I would have expected a couple of months ago. I think a good 30 lbs of my weight loss can be attributed to the hair that I left in the barber shop last month. I haven't uploaded a new photo, until today, because I wanted to be semi-close to unrecognizable when I popped into the meeting this morning. Mission accomplished. :)

I continue to feel really good and haven't experienced any new weirdness in the last couple of months.

I'm more gassy when I lay on my side than when I lay on my stomach. That's new and a little odd.

Our home theater is set up, finally. Eight foot screen and THX sound. It's AWESOME!

I have two food crutches, lately: Big Macs (with mayo added for extra danger) and Tim's Cascade Chips (Alder-Smoked BBQ). Too many calories in both, but I don't go overboard, thank heavens.  My morning cup of coffee is growing again, too. I'm a cream and sugar guy, so I've really got to watch my consumption of that stuff. It's a potential weight-loss killer.

I still haven't found a food that I can't tolerate, though I'm no longer fond of cheese. In fact, that's one of the reasons why I get the Big Mac--sure there's cheese, but it's buried under a pound of lettuce and almost unnoticeable.

One sort of odd thing that I've noticed is that if I'm hungry and I think about the food, I can occasionally get an uncomfortable feeling in my gut. An uncomfortable feeling similar to being full. Only, however, right after I decide what it is that I'm going to eat. Told you it was odd.

Ahem--post WLS sex is awesome. Gawd, I hope my mother isn't reading this.

The move-in is complete and the remodel is at about 75%, though almost all of the hard stuff is out of the way now.

Thanks for having me today, Heap-Vets.   :)

Absence Makes the Blog seem Longer
on March 4, 2007 4:28 pm

...or something like that. ;)

It's been awhile since I last wrote and, sadly, this is not the time for a lengthy update. My family's moving into a new home that has required a good deal of remodeling prior to the move. It's occupied pretty much all of my free (HA!) time since the middle of January. It looks like we'll finally be moved in (mostly) early next week and life can almost resume at that point.

Today, I was in the middle of painting when my mother noted that the heat was not on. I then noted that neither of us know, yet, how to turn it on. So, back to the old house to get the wife, who, amazingly, DOES know how to turn it on. While she's gone and I babysit the napping toddler, I can write. Yay! :)

Weight loss has slowed dramatically during this time, though I'm still losing. My scale's been packed up for awhile, so I'm not exactly sure where I'm at, weightwise.

I can eat a lot more now than I could a couple of months ago. I might actually need to think about a little self-discipline, even. ;)

I've developed a helluva sweet tooth since the surgery. I never went in for the whole chocolate-thing before but I do now, let me tell ya. I was LOVING Valentine's day. I even ate the chocolates with the fruity crap in the middle (blech!).

Well, back to the house. I've got 12 new doors to paint by tonight and I'm only on number seven, after working on 'em for about five hours. I'll write more in a couple of weeks. In the meantime, thanks for the kind messages and wishes. I'm at this site reading everyday, even when I'm not writing.

Bye!

A Red Letter Day
on January 16, 2007 8:58 pm

Tuesday, January 16, 2007 -- 308 lbs

The scale says I'm down 102 lbs since October 4th. I'm continually re-amazed by how well Dr. Heap's modified VSG has worked and how well I've been able to adjust.

Oh Boy, Omentum!
on January 12, 2007 7:27 pm

Friday, January 12, 2007

I learned some interesting stuff today at work when I was reading the most recent issue of Discover magazine (yes, mailroom duty is excruciating). It turns out that abdominal fat, aka visceral fat, produces hormone(s) that likely contribute to the onset of various obesity-related conditions. Other types of body fat play a much less significant role in the development of these conditions.

The omentum (Dr. Heap called it the "fatty apron") is one of the primary locations where these hormones are produced. That, of course, reminded me that many of Dr. Heap's patients, myself included, had their omentum removed. Some recent studies have suggested that, that alone, might produce substantial reduction in some obesity-related comorbidities.

So, it turns out, that Dr. Heap's procedure has an extra benefit that shouldn't be undervalued.

I did a brief search for some supporting material to support what I typed for those who don't have access to the magazine. Here's one link about visceral fat and Type 2 Diabetes:

http://www.umm.edu/news/releases/omentin.htm

FYI, trans fats are what "grows" visceral fat. Other types of fatty foods tend to affect subcutaneous body fat, instead.

Birthday Fun
on January 10, 2007 6:11 pm

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Usually, my birthday's are a fairly easy matter for my family: buy me a pizza or two (preferably from Round Table) and watch Joel smile happily for a couple of days. But my tastes have totally changed and pizza isn't a favorite food anymore. So, as I approached yesterday's birthday, I enjoyed the thought of my fam struggling to think of a suitable alternate gift.

Of course, when I got home after work, Sandi shot a "Happy birthday" my way and a few minutes later (right on schedule) proceeded to ask me what I wanted for my birthday dinner. I swear I could see the desperation in her eyes. :) I did my best to keep the chuckling inside and succeeded for a only a couple of seconds.

Eventually, I decided on Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, made in my time-tested manner, with extra packets of the radioactive-orange cheese powder, and we saved twenty bucks on dinner. As always, the macncheese was remarkably good.

My mother was kind enough to bring me cupcakes (nice and small for the WLS patient) which surrounded a mini version of my favorite cake, german chocolate. I remember reading about a VSG coconut prohibition, however, and have been a little leery of dipping a fork into the cake. I'll work up the nerve before it gets stale, I'm sure. :) I've been making an effort to "take control" of the foods I eat and I suppose I might want to put coconut in its place also. :)

Anyway, it sucks to be 39, but it's awesome to be doing so much better, physically and mentally, than I was at 38. Maybe it'll turn into a trend.   :)

Cheeseburgers!
on January 7, 2007 11:03 am

Sunday, January 7th, 2007 -- 314 lbs.

Happy new year, friends. It's been awhile since I've last posted anything to this blog, but I have new Christmas toys to occupy--nay, monopolize--my time.

Truthfully, there's really not that much to write about anyway. Well, unless I wish to admit that I've been eating a bit more carelessly in the last week, three months post-op. I suppose I should. This will forever be known as the week where I was reintroduced to cheeseburgers or, at least, halves-of-cheeseburgers. I did a Jumbo Jack, a Whopper Junior, and a Double Cheeseburger in the last few days and here's what I learned:

First of all, my interest in cheese is not what it once was. Of the three burgers I had, the double cheeseburger was the worst (and it used to be my favorite). And, oddly, it was the cheese that ruined it for me. The taste and, to a lesser extent, the texture, just doesn't taste right anymore. There was too much of it on the DC and I only managed a few bites. And let's be real--it's nothing but rotten milk, anyway. Should I really be surprised that it's not the most appetizing thing on a styrofoam plate?

Second, I REALLY like the whole onion-tomato-lettuce-pickle combo on the other two burgers (missing from the DC). With all of that stuff on the burger, it was a little difficult to get a small bite, but I managed nonetheless. I was able to eat about half of the Jumbo Jack, which was way too much considering the considerable discomfort it caused afterwards, and about three-quarters of the Whopper Junior (much smaller). I enjoyed both immensely but suspect that I'll only return to them occasionally.

I also visited Taco Bell, which used to be my lunch of choice, and ordered a Steak Quesadilla, and was mightily disappointed in my distaste for the item. I used to love those but now find the cheese more than a little offputting. My pals at the Monroe Taco Bell, who know me as "Baja Man" (I used to order their Baja Sauce on everything. They always give me a free drink because they're so freaking awesome), loaded up the Quesadilla with a bunch of extra cheese, which only served to make me long for the comfortable confines of any of the local teriyaki shops.

That's a lot of fast food for one week. I've managed to rationalize a reason for it as well--and I'm fifty-percent sincere (REALLY!). This was all about taking control of my post-surgery diet. I know full well what I'm supposed to eat and, generally, eat it. Since I already know that I'm going to eat "badly" from time to time, there's some value in knowing what I can and cannot consume. There's a certain amount of fear involved in approaching "new" food post-op (see the "afraid of bread" post below) and an accompanying sense of accomplishment after happily eating it. I honestly didn't know what the Jumbo Jack was going to do to my insides, but now I do and I, consequently, have another food option available. That makes me happy, even if I never go near another Jack-in-the-Box. I actually think about this stuff, btw. I'm not making it up. :)

I was finally successful using my Magic Bullet with Isopure powder. If I only blend for a second or two, there's much less foam--still some, but not too much.

I'm down another five pounds. Maybe more than that, actually. I posted my weight as 319 lbs. on the previous entry, but my scale read 323 lbs the following day. So, if you use the latter number, I'm down nine additional pounds. What difference does it make anyway? The good news is that the weight continues to come off and, at three months, I'm down 96 pounds. Yay!

Time to go occupy myself with my Christmas toys.  A SECRET NOTE TO THOSE IN THE KNOW:  I PLAY ON THE VOX SERVER. LOOK FOR "AUNTEE," A 43 BARBARIAN COERCER. Sorry to those not in the know. I can't let too much of my nerd-ness get out to the OH masses. Update your profiles so I have something to read besides the naughty "Sex after WLS" posts.

--joel!

Joel's Sappy Holiday Message (tm)
on December 23, 2006 11:48 am

Saturday, December 23, 2006, 319 lbs.

Oy...I overate horribly at the mailroom Christmas party yesterday. Two barbecued meatballs, a spoonful of macaroni salad, about a third of a chicken breast and a deviled egg. I felt out of it for a good four hours afterward. Later that evening, I faced my irrational fear of bread and had a slice of pizza. I tried my best to not be self-conscious about how I was eating it, theorizing that I was thinking too much, and mostly succeeded. The pizza was okay and I didn't feel like hell afterward. :)

I can't believe I'm actually typing this--it's been more than a week since my last "long" trip to the bathroom. I'm not complaining, mind you. I suppose I'm simply not "wasting" any of the food I eat. Thankfully, there's no associated discomfort.

Yay! A&W makes diet root beer. My personal preference is for Barq's, but it's hard to find at convenience stores.

I still love my Oberto cocktail pep, but when I looked at the ingredient list and saw that it was mostly "pork hearts" I found myself a little squeamish and I'm now a little less enthusiastic than I was a few days ago.

KFC Boneless Wings are another lunch option that I like, though at $3.50 for five of 'em, I find them a bit expensive. There's a bit too much breading, as far as I'm concerned, but they're not bad.

I spent some time, yesterday, thinking about how awake I've been in the last month. Prior to surgery, I'd wake up at about 6:30am and find myself tired again by 10am. After lunch, I'd have a hard time staying awake through the end of the day. That's all gone now. I can only remember one time at work in the last month where I found myself missing my pillow.  A lot contributed to the prior fatigue--heart issues and diabetes (undiagnosed until the day of surgery--who knows how long I had it) mostly, I'm sure. But here I am, getting up an hour earlier, and so much more "with it" than I was just a few short months ago. It's a really remarkable change, I think, and I'm quite thankful for it.

Lastly, as I approach the holidays, I'm compelled to share a bit of what I read every day when I go through the mail of the inmates at the prison where I work. Over and over again I read of mothers missing sons and fathers missing their children and stories of great regret as families torn asunder by crime bemoan the realization that they're not together at a time when familial bonds are often at their strongest. These families, perhaps, understand more clearly than the rest of us that every day together is a precious commodity and not to be lightly squandered--despite the fact that, so often, they've done just that. The most hardened criminals--even serial killers--miss their mothers at Christmastime. While it's very hard to be sympathetic toward someone who's hurt another so badly, their sadness has served as a reminder to me to appreciate what I'm so lucky to have in my life: people that I adore, the opportunity to share a bit of time with them, and, hopefully, the refusal to take any of it for granted. So, for this holiday, I wish the same good fortune on anyone who is kind enough to read this.

Happy Solstice!

Fa-la-la-la-laaa La-laaa-laaa-laaa
on December 17, 2006 11:54 am

Sunday, December 17th, 2006, 325 lbs.

I love Oberto! First, on Thursday, it was pepperoni sticks, occasionally dipped in barbecue sauce. Then, over the last couple of days it's been Turkey Jerky. Both are wonderful. The taste is awesome, and they're very filling, high in protein, and portable. I'd prefer that they weren't so expensive, but my food bill is still way less than it was in September.

I was surprised at the scale this morning. I didn't expect to drop seven pounds this week, but there it is. I may even hit 100 pounds prior to my three month checkup. That would be, to me, a totally unexpected and very exciting result, especially considering how often I've fallen off the diet wagon.

I found myself walking through the assembled masses at Toys'R'Us yesterday night. Sandi and I found a babysitter (our first non-relative babysitter since Mara's birth two-and-a-half years ago) and attempted to go see "Borat," an outing at the top of my to-do list for a while now. Of course, with all the traffic near Alderwood Mall, our 45 minute trip turned into an hour-and-a-half and we missed the start of the movie. Despite my whining, we decided to finish our holiday shopping instead, driving across the street (15 minutes) to the toy store.

For the first time in a long time, I wasn't fatigued or sore during or after the long walk through the store. I remember walking into Fred Meyer last year at this time when I had to find a place to sit within five minutes of entering the store. When I left I was covered in sweat, shaky, and my legs were numb from the small amount of walking. What a difference the weight-loss has made.

Let me say this, however, I will NEVER again go to the mall on a Saturday night so close to Christmas. The traffic was horrendous, dangerous, and maddening. The sea of people meant long lines everywhere. I'd have much preferred to shop someplace out of the way, on a weekday, when it wasn't so crowded. Lesson re-learned.

The Sci-Fi network ran a wonderfully intriguing miniseries called "The Lost Room" last week. I very much enjoyed it and recommend it to anyone who enjoys semi-thought-provoking television. It was nice and light, easy to follow, but difficult to anticipate. Perfect entertainment.

Isopure Dutch Chocolate protein powder is a very nice supplement when mixed with milk. The hard part, of course, is mixing it. The Magic Bullet causes it to foam up too much and a brisk stir isn't enough to dissolve the powder. It comes out very lumpy and I do not like chewing the lumps. Of course, it works okay when blended with crushed ice. Still, at 50+ grams of protein per serving, it's a good supplement.  Flex magazine (I read it in the mailroom on a particularly slow day) suggests taking a serving of protein immediately before going to sleep. I've been trying that lately with good results, I think.

I think I'm done for now. Have a good week, everyone. :)

I'm Afraid of Bread
on December 13, 2006 4:12 pm

Wednesday, December 13th, 2006

I'm afraid of bread. I have no reason to be afraid of bread, but I'm afraid of bread. I think I've been reading too many posts on the lap-band forum because--get this--I'm afraid of bread.

I'm not afraid of toasted bread. I've already written about the wonders of grilled cheese sandwiches. I'm particularly afraid of doughy hoagie rolls. Cheesesteak? HORRIFYING!

When I think about bread, I get a phantom lump at the base of my esophagus.

I've always said that every kindergartener should learn to make bread. You get to learn about biology, math, patience, economics, and a host of other things. In light of the potential danger, however, I'm rethinking my position.

So what are my bread alternatives? Eggplant? No way. A leafy vegetable? No way.

I really need to get my head right. Maybe tomorrow.

:)

What? No Whining?
on December 12, 2006 7:34 pm

December 12, 2006 -- 332 lbs.

Yes! No whining! Everything's hunky-dory. Who'd have thought it was possible?!

The stall is officially broken as I'm down five more pounds this week. I've got my protein powder back (trying the Isopure Dutch Chocolate this time--a little tough to mix without a lot of foam, but tastes very good) and I've added significantly more chicken to my diet. I picked up a bag of chicken breast "tenders" and find that two or three of those, especially when dipped in teriyaki sauce or barbecue sauce, is an excellent meal that's high in protein and low in fat.

Dr. PCP is content that my staph infection is in the past, though we'll keep an eye on it as time goes on. I've had no more symptoms.

During my visit, he checked my blood pressure (124/78) and the state of my legs, formerly swollen with edema, and decided then and there that I no longer needed any blood pressure or heart meds. That's three prescriptions out the door. This, to me, is my first real big sign of progress. If I cling to the notion that I'm doing this for my health (and not vanity) this was a big moment for me and I'm very pleased. If, on the other hand, it IS about vanity, I'm more pleased that my pants fall down. :)

The horrible fever of last week has also passed, though now I kind of miss the rush of quickly stumbling into the shower to warm up. It was kind of a hot-tub-in-the-snow thing. But now the "snow" is gone and I'm regretting spending $4,000 on a hot tub. Or something like that.

I'm growing my hair still. The photos I've uploaded already show my hair at its longest--and it's gotten longer still. I'm really enjoying the minor rebellion of being a long-haired civil-servant hippie. GO TAXPAYERS!

Aww, gee, I love you guys.

I'm really ticked off at the manufacturer of Doritos. Do they know ANYTHING about consistency? How come one chip is coated in the magically tasty spice powder goodness but another is as nekkid as a rotunda statue after a Democratic sweep? How come one bag of Doritos is danged near bursting with well-seasoned chips and another is filled with chips that have clearly been pre-licked? Every chip should be good, but I'd estimate that only about 25% are primo-dorito.

I've caught all of the reruns of "Arrested Development" on G4 since my surgery. Funniest TV series I've ever seen. Only "Police Squad" has ever approached it, as far as I'm concerned.

Oh! Let me tell you--Creme Soda GOOOOOOOD.

The mail room is REALLY boring. And not a little maddening. So many women, hurt in the past, making themselves vulnerable to the offenders, via mail and phone calls. I have to read their mail. The urge to write them all back and suggest that they consider other, less risky, options is overwhelming at times. On the other hand, maybe their faith will be justified--even if it is placed in a convicted felon they've never met.

Well, anyway. More to come later. Thanks for the request, Hillary. :)

It's Always Something
on December 4, 2006 2:16 pm

Monday, December 4th, 2006 -- 337 lbs.

Good afternoon. Well I finally kicked my staph infection (for the time being) and my leak has completely healed over. But, of course, whenever I put one issue to bed, another crops up. :)

This weekend I got a severe fever and was very lightheadded and weak. I alternate between teeth-clattering shivering and massive sweats every few hours. It's made sleeping a real chore, although, on the plus side, per my wife, I apparently vibrated the bed very nicely. I suppose this fever could indicate that the staph has spread but I doubt it. I finished my course of antibiotics and what I'm feeling now seems viral in nature. To be safe, however, I've made another appointment with my PCP. MRSA can last a long time and I do NOT want to deal with some of the potential complications

On the plus side, I managed to vomit for the first time since surgery! Yay!!! I'd been afraid that I'd turn my insides into a quivering pile of goo (at least then it'd match my outsides), but nope. It was just like before the surgery, except there was a lot less chewed pizza in the toilet afterward.

To compound matters, I found a way, somehow, to irritate my diaphragm, I think, and now have some pretty nasty shoulder and neck pain. Taking a deep breath produces a sharp pain in my left shoulder, as does coughing and a few other things. As a result of all this, I'm mostly miserable. It's very hard to get comfortable anywhere except my precious shower. There's NOTHING better than a Waterpick on the fine mist setting when your cold. Instant warmup.

I've hit my first stall in the last couple of weeks and the scale didn't really move that much at all. However, it showed a two-pound loss this morning, making my total weight loss 73-lbs in two months. I still need to exercise more and I definitely need to lay off the Doritos (crunchy foods are something I didn't really care for prior to the surgery, but I can't get enough of them now). The prison's got an employee gym I can use for about $5/month. I think I'm going to look into that.

Anyway, writing this is proving very difficult in my current condition, so, until next time...

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It's About Time
on November 19, 2006 4:11 pm

Sunday, November 19th, 2006, 343 lbs.

Good afternoon, again. It's cold, windy, and rainy--feels like Thanksgiving. I've just watched my beloved Seahawks lose horribly. My wife has decided that she wants $75 million. I'm entertaining offers.

It's become clear to me that the thing that I miss the most after surgery is TIME. Before surgery, even when I ate quickly, a meal took ten to twenty minutes to finish. Now, I'm lucky to stretch my few bites to a few minutes. As a person who likes food, I miss the time spent eating.

I've tried the whole "chew slower" thing and, in fact, I do chew my food much more thoroughly these days. Sometimes, though, the extra mastication changes the taste of the food enough to make it a relatively unpleasant experience.

The fact of the matter is that the reason I liked eating the whole pizza was NOT because I liked that much food, but instead because I liked eating the pizza for a long time. I never picked up on this fact before my surgery so it comes as an important revelation to me. I think that the time element of my new eating habits will prove to be the most significant and, perhaps, the most difficult adjustment to maintain.

My old antibiotics smell like rotten eggs. I don't suspect that's a good thing.

Grilled cheese sandwiches are my friend. What a great dinner they made the other night. That was the first food that I really really liked since surgery. Others have seemed just a little off as my tastes have changed dramatically.

DISCLAIMER: NO WLS-RELATED CONTENT:
My wife recorded an animal show for my daughter, "Blue Planet," for my 2-year-old daughter Mara. Mara and I watched the episode about coastline fauna happily, especially enjoying the part about baby sea turtles, one of Mara's favorites. Imagine her horror as we watched five-minutes of footage of baby sea turtles being devoured by the local avian wildlife and the occasional croc. "Wun baby sea tootle, wun!" It only got better when the baby seals were being offed by the wandering pod of orca.

Anyway...

More to come later this week. I'm sure Thanksgiving will be eventful wuth lots of uncomfortable moments with the fam. Isn't that what the holidays are for? May yours be just as pleasant. :)

Aches, Staph, and Pants
on November 14, 2006 10:57 am

Tuesday, November 14th, 2006, 347 lbs

Funny...I make a big deal out of getting my keyboard fixed and then I don't type anything.   Go figure.

Well, it's been a typical, semi-eventful, couple of weeks. The recovery continues, though I'm still not quite myself, which is a good thing, as the old "myself" was on a bad path of weight gain, overeating, and worship of the sedentary life. The weight loss continues nicely after a short stall and I've cracked the 350lb mark.

I'm still adjusting to the various changes heaped (Ha! Get it?!) upon me. The whole body temperature change is weird (though I still plan to name a band "Personal Furnace" one day), my lack of appetite is shocking to me, and I'm experiencing a few new aches and pains that are completely new to me.

I've read comments that as one loses weight, they may be slow to adjust their posture accordingly. I think this is the case with me as I'm experiencing lower back pain for the first time ever--lucky, I know. I have to remind myself to sit up straight, for example, or face the consequences. I never had to worry about that before. I'm getting better at it, thankfully.

The occasional cup of coffee has made its way back into my diet, albeit of a weaker variety.

My leak became infected with drug-resistant Staph. I'm fortunate that my post-surgery seroma is a small one and is still draining, though the fluid is no longer clear. I visited my PCP and was prescribed antibiotics last week, but, because of the sort of infection, he's had to change the prescription, adding two new pills to my daily regimen. It was odd that, shortly after he swabbed the area with iodine, the hole actually scabbed over--within three hours--after being open since just after surgery. I elected to remove the scab (ewwww) so the seroma could continue to drain. That was a good move it turns out. While these sorts of infections are serious, I'm not overly concerned about further complications and procedures. Fingers crossed.

I'm adjusting to my "full" sensations a bit better and learning when it's time to quit eating. I still feel discomfort instead of what I remember as feeling full. I read, however, that might change a couple of months down the road.

I've incorporated all sorts of food into my diet, including lots of Halloween Tootsie Rolls. You can all slap me (virtually) for that if you'd like. I did sloppy joes a couple of days ago and, get this, I made a 4" pizza last THREE DAYS! Those who know me will fall down dead after reading that sentence. Sorry. I need to work on eating more, I think. I keep reading about eating 6-8 times a day and I'm not hitting that mark, eating 2-3 times daily, instead.

And it's finally starting--my pants are falling down when I walk. I have to keep my hands in my pockets to hold them up. :)

More to come, I'm sure. See ya!

Back to Work. No--Really.
on October 27, 2006 4:33 pm

Friday, October 27th, 2006

Hey! I've switched out my keyboard. I have various new keys available to me once again. Keys like #$%^&*()_!!!!!   Very exciting, let me tell you. I can emote so much more efficiently now. :)

So yesterday was a semi-big day as I returned to work and an inbox with 389 emails in it. Not bad, really. It was nice to have something productive to do again.  Well, it would have been nicer to stay home another day, actually. I'm not one of those that needs to work to be happy. I'm much more comfortable lounging around in dirty shorts, watching good tv, and spending the occasional quality time with the family.  Alas, that's not been my lot in life, nor have I ever expected it to be.

I work with lots of very nice people who were very concerned about me during my absence. Many knew about my WLS. I felt no great need to conceal it. It was nice to hear that people regularly asked about me and the greetings I received upon my return were heartwarming.

There are always fires to put out when you return to work after an extended absence and yesterday was no exception. So I spent the better part of the day fixing little issues as best as I could, securing a few little victories for the Washington taxpayers along the way. I love that sort of day. :)

BUT, MAN, WAS I SORE AFTERWARD! Apparently, Dr. Heap, in addition to his regular procedure, installed a few hundred little vices, one or two on each muscle, and, perhaps via remote control, tightened every last one of them at 5:30pm yesterday. I made a beeline for my Hydromorphone when I got home to take the proverbial edge off and plopped myself down, still as could be. That may have been a mistake by the way. I might have to start combatting pain with movement instead of stillness.

Anyway, the pain persisted, sleep was consequently difficult, and I took the day off again today, resting up for the full work week next week. I'm glad I did, because the good doc's still got his hand on the remote, methinks.

I want to broadcast a big fat thanks to those who've made such nice comments on my blog. I dig humility and you kids humble me with your kind words daily. Thank you.

I ate half a pancake today. It was very good but sure was heavy in the ol' gut.

FYI, SparkPeople.com is an awesome website for tracking weight and fitness type things.

I really have an urge to swim, but not the energy. :(

Anyway, typing is proving a chore, so that's it for today. Have fun!

--joel!

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Week Three Over
on October 25, 2006 9:05 am

Wednesday, October 25, 2006, 361 lbs.

Good morning. And I mean that. The lovely rain of Granite Falls is buffeting the window next to my desk and very little makes me as peaceful as the feeling of being sheltered.

The weight continues to melt off. I did a bit of a double take at the scale this morning, not expecting to see another five pounds missing, but there it was.  I love honeymoon periods. I really hope to make the most of this brief window. Dropping 200 lbs, which is my personal goal, depends, I believe, on my ability to lose a good portion of that weight in the first three months.

I watched Kathy's Escape on Discovery last night and it really hit home what an opportunity I have.  I must admit that the fear of squandering that opportunity is a little more in focus as a result and I'm grateful.    I figure this is the ONLY chance like this I'm likely ever to see in my lifetime so I'd better make the most of it.  I doubt my version of bariatric surgery is one that'd benefit from a revision to a BPD, in the event that the mini-switch doesn't work as advertised.   So, this is it. I'm heartened at my initial success and believe that I'll do all that I can to continue it.

Good news--I love the Pro-Score 100 shakes. I usually add a couple of packets of Splenda to help out a bit, but I really look forward to the shakes now. I drink that instead of coffee in the morning. I don't know how this blasphemy will sit with my latte-sipping family and friends in Western Washington, but it's good with me.

The lack of coffee, itself, is a huge lifestyle change for me.  A cup of coffee has been the center of my social life for 20 years now. My best friends and I always met over coffee at the Pine Cone Cafe. I met my wife at the very same location when she was the waitress pouring my coffee. I even asked her to marry me at table seven with two cups of coffee and a pile of creamers between us. Each morning, for many years, started with 30 ounces of coffee, a quarter cup of powdered creamer, and about half as much sugar. That was probably worth about 1000 calories right there. Well, no more. My taste for coffee has pretty much disappeared at this point in the game.   I suspect I'll regain it at some time, but maybe not.

My incision is still leaking clear, pinkish liquid from the little hole at the top and I'm still not concerned about it. The rest of the incision is healing nicely. I've got some pretty nifty scabs that just scream for me to pick at them but I've avoided the temptation so far.

Prior to surgery, I had three pressure sores on the back of my leg that refused to heal. I carried these dime size wounds for about four months. The edema in my legs continually stretched my calves, reopening the wounds whenever they began to heal. It was remarkably painful and affected my ability to sleep comfortably amongst other things. Well, now that the edema is essentially gone and some vascular integrity has returned to my legs, two of the three sores have healed and the third is getting there.

Speaking of my calves, without the edema, my muscle definition is back. Freaked out my wife this morning. I've always had a lot of lower body strength, perhaps from carrying my weight all of these years. My favorite teenage way to show-off to girls was to act like I had an itch or something on the back of my leg, which forced me to turn my heels out, flexing the well-defined calf for all to see. I haven't done that in a while, but I successfully executed the move this morning. It's a small victory, but a victory nonetheless.

I slept about 18 hours on Monday. I haven't been that tired in a long time. It was needed rest, I think. I haven't done the same, since, but I've found the perfect positions for sleeping and I'm much more comfortable than I've been recently. I really enjoy my sleep and, more importantly, the lack of mid-day fatigue after a decent night's sleep. I still can't sleep for eight hours, apnea yaknow, but I can sleep in four-hour blocks now, which was unheard of in the months prior to surgery.

I've been cold lately. Totally expected that. I'm no longer my own personal furnace.  I find my temperature fluctuates, though. I'm breaking out in a sweat ten minutes after shivering. Weird.

I've written too much already. More later. Nice day, all [exclamation point].

Oh, How I Miss my Ampersand
on October 22, 2006 5:57 pm

Sunday, October 22, 2006, 366 lbs.

FYI - the top row of my qwerty keyboard has apparently launched an uprising, rebelling against my overuse of emoticons. Sadly, this prevents exclamation points and a few other critical characters. I'm currently in negotiations with the Tilde key--the leader of the insurgency--but so far have been unable to resolve the situation. I'm forced in the meantime to employ other means to adequately convey the tone of today's blog entry. Please, oh PLEASE, forgive me.

What a mostly lovely day. Beautiful warm sun, time with the family, comfy chairs to sit on, a well blended protein shake--these are a few of my favorite things. Of course, on the other hand, the Seahawks apparently skipped out of the stadium in the first quarter, leaving the Anchorage Seahawkers to finish out the game, losing 112 to negative 3. Thankfully, my lack of interest in the team's self-flagellation opened up more time for me to peruse OH and continue my education about the journey I've recently started.

I treat my participation on OH as homework now. I use it as a focusing tool to remind me of my committment to weight-loss success. The trick, for me at least, is to nudge myself just up to the "obsession" line without crossing over and becoming a self-righteous, smarmy, self-obsessed know-it-all. [HEY--why are my hyphens working??? Is there some sort of intra-rebellion rebellion going on here? I love my computer {exclamation point}] I've tried to duck into every forum, blog every day, and mess with my layout so it's like the cool kids'. I'm counting on all readers of this to point out to me when I've crossed the line.

I, of course, toyed with my confidence and happiness by reading the "Memorials" and the "WLS Complications" forums. Some really horrible stories there. Personally, I like knowing what I might confront one day.  The knowledge of what I'd face as a super-obese man is what led me to the WLS solution in the first place. I'd be stupid not to prepare myself for what might be down the road as a result of my surgery.

I moved the ticker again today. I'm happily down six more pounds since my last weight update a couple of days ago.

Sandi recently got me one of those lovely week-long pill dispensers and took the time to load it up for me. I whined that it "was too hard," to open all those bottles at once. Now that it's full, I can barely lift it.

The loading process made me pay attention to the vitamins provided at Dr. Heap's office. One is called "Multigenics Chewable," and this is the post-op multivitamin. The other is is "Hemagenics," and it appears to be the iron and other stuff pill. It wasn't until today that I noticed one important distinction in the name of the pills. Can you spot it? Can you? Okay, I'll tell you: one is chewable. The other is not.  Sadly, this fact escaped me previously, so I've been dutifully suffering through the horrible taste of my chewed iron pill at the beginning of each morning. Let me tell you--there's a reason why iron isn't on the menu at ANY high-class restaurant. Suffice to say, I think I'm gonna give up the whole iron-chewing thing.

My wife wants to play along, now, and had a protein shake this morning.

I can't believe that I didn't mention that I had my first piece of pizza on Saturday night. Of course, by the time I'd chewed and chewed and chewed and chewed and chewed and chewed it, it tasted nothing like pizza. Throw in the fact that it was from Little Caesars and I'm not sure that it actually happened at all. Assuming it did for a moment, though, that's a landmark moment for me. My oldest daughter was almost reduced to tears, once, because she thought for a moment that I loved pizza more than her. Yes, I'm a fine father, aren't I? Anyway, getting back on the mozzarella wagon is a big step toward reclaiming a happier slice {oh the punnage} of my previous life. The truly remarkable bit, though, is that I only had ONE small slice and was quite content with that. Previously, I could, if hungry, consume an 18" pizza, easily, by myself. I never did win a prize for that, by the way.

Anyway, I'm rambling again so I'm going to turn off the spigot for a bit. Happy new week [exclamation point].

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Totally Uneventful
on October 21, 2006 6:28 pm

Saturday, October 21, 2006

For the first time in a few weeks, this day has been totally unremarkable. I'm kind of beside myself waiting for something to happen. I'm almost (shudder) BORED! I must admit, I think I've liked the drama that's accompanied my WLS and to be without it might require a little adjustment on the humility meter.

Thankfully, I'm not the type to fly off the handle in an overwrought "LOOK AT ME" rage. Today would have been a good day for it, just for the extra entertainment.

I did have opportunity, today, to break into my big bucket of VitaLady Protein Power Super Roboto XL Intimidate your Surgeon 100 powder, mixing my first two shakes late last night and this morning. I got used to the Ensure and really liked that stuff, but 12g of protein just isn't enough per serving, as far as I'm concerned. The VitaLady stuff is certainly thicker, and, consequently, more prone to aftertaste, but I find the chocolate flavor more "real" than the Ensure, which always tasted like it had peanuts added.

Of course, this was another good test for the Magic Bullet blender. For those who don't care to read the rest of the blog, I was brainwashed into buying a Magic Bullet after watching the nonstop informercials on the Charter Cable TV in my hospital room. I cook everything now in just under three seconds. If I use the microwave AND the magic bullet, I actually go back in time.

I loaded up the VitaLady Protein Power Super Roboto XL Intimidate your Surgeon 100 powder as directed and blended it with a little extra ice, a packet of Splenda, and a couple of shots of bourbon (I made that part up) and blended the melange into a yummy and healthy meal replacement. Amazingly, the whole process took just under 43 nanoseconds, Mimi! Success!

I can't stand still enough on my scale. I have a tendency to rock a bit, back and forth, perhaps because of the weight loss and corresponding change to my center of gravity. Consequently, it usually takes 5-7 attempts to get a single reading on the scale. And since I want to verify the accuracy of the reading, I have to repeat the process a couple of times. I've decided to count this stepping action as my daily exercise for the time being. I think that's pretty clever of me.

Anyway, enough for now. Otherwise I'll be tempted to write some more and this much punishment is enough for now.

P.S. Set those DVRs to record Oprah on Tuesday. Apparently, she'll be addressing women who've had WLS surgery and how it's made them into wild, immoral hussies. By the way, as far as I'm concerned, you can never have enough wild, immoral hussies. I hope Oprah has maps.

Gasp!
on October 20, 2006 11:39 am

Friday, October 20, 2006, 373 lbs.

37 pounds in two weeks??? Oh my.

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The Last of the Cyborgs
on October 19, 2006 6:08 pm

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Well, I'm no longer a cybernetic being--at least on the outside. My stitches were removed an hour ago. Didn't hurt nearly as bad as I thought it would.   The only other time I had stitches removed was when I was 13. My memory of that time was not pleasant. Turns out it was incorrect. ;)

The abdominal pain's subsided a bit today, now I'm only "uncomfortable." Improvement's improvement, yaknow.

I'm taking it slow on the diet front. I figure that, since I'm tolerating the puree phase well, I'll drag it out a little bit, giving my stomach some extra time to heal. That said, I incorporated scrambled eggs with ketchup into the mix now. The ketchup was VERY pleasant--my first post-op comfort food, lol.

Turns out I like Ensure protein shakes. I suppose that makes me fortunate. On the advice of one of Dr. Heap's patients, I ordered a bunch of the VitaLady Power 100 protein drink mix and will be trying that as soon as I run out of the Ensure. I wasn't smart enough to purchase just a sample, so I hope I enjoy the Vitalady stuff. We'll see, I suppose.

My second leak has healed over mostly, but I still have a wet spot on my shirt, so it's not all the way there yet. I think that's good actually. Clearly, I've got fluid to drain, so I'm glad there's an outlet. :)

Till later. :)

No Leakage! Leakage!
on October 18, 2006 8:45 pm

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Well, over the last couple of days my little 2mm hole healed over. Yay, right? Well, not exactly.

So I'm looking at it tonight and I notice that it's a bit raised and pink. I apply some pressure to it, knowing full well what's going to happen. There was literally a stream of clear, yellowish liquid jetting out of the newly opened hole for half a second. When I quit laughing, I attempted to express some more of the fluid but quickly determined that it was going to come out at its own pace.

A quick shower and retaping later, the leakage has slowed back down to almost nothing. I think my pain's a bit better too. Could the two phenomena be related? I suppose I'll ask my PCP tomorrow when I go to have my stitches removed.

I'm, of course, concerned about infection, but since the fluid is clear and odorless, I'm not terribly worried at this point. I suppose I'll be more clear tomorrow.

Night!

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Nope...Not Today
on October 18, 2006 8:09 am

Wednesday, October 19th, 2006

Woke up this morning WAY too sore to consider going to work. I probably should have taken an anti-inflammatory or something late last night but didn't think of it. Tomorrow's another day. :)

When I was a young boy attempting to impress the young girls, I developed the habit of "sucking in my gut" to make myself look more like the thin, puffy-chested ideal of my time. Unfortunately, 30 years later, the habit persists. It didn't dawn on me till about four days post-op to relax my abdominal muscles a bit and perhaps lessen some of the stress on my recently rearranged body. Now that I'm concentrating on that a bit, I'm experiencing a different pain than I did immediately after surgery--sort of a "bonus pain." I can't stress enough that I'm not doubled over in tears or anything, but it is a new distraction to say the least.

I think the leakage referenced in prior posts has also changed the nature of the pain. I think it's kind of like what happens after you pop a blister and there's a new discomfort under the blister. After I leaked, everything seemed to get a bit more sensitive. I still think it's good though. It FEELS like a "healing" pain.

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Work on Wednesday
on October 17, 2006 7:46 pm

Tuesday, October 18th, 2006

Well, tomorrow is the first day back at work after the surgery. I'm pleased with my recovery time and I'm reasonably confident that I'll be able to put in the eight hours if I take a few breaks here and there.

My work isn't strenuous by any stretch of the imagination. I'm a paper-pusher for the state prison system and work at the Monroe Correctional Complex (Hi Kristi!).  My work day will consist of a good deal of typing and a little bit of arguing. I think I can handle that--as long as the sitting doesn't get to me.

I was extra sore today.  I've no idea what I did wrong or if it's just a bad day, but the important part is that the medicine cabinet is still stocked and I should be able to take the edge off.

I find it really odd that diaphragm irritation causes pain in the top of my left shoulder. Who knew?

I went into my first consultation with Dr. Heap suffering from some pretty severe edema in my lower legs. Looks like that problem is gone for good. Only minimal pitting and only when I exert some serious effort. Yay! One issue addressed and counting.

Today's Magic Bullet recipe:
Yes, it's fun to experiment

1/3 cup baked beans
1 small baked potato
2 1/2" cubes of cheese
1 tblsp Ranch Dressing
Taco Seasoning to taste

Put it all in the cup. Attach the crossblade. Blend till smooth. Microwave on high for one minute. Blend again till smooth.

It's a 2 minute meal that actually sorta tastes taco'ish and goes down easily for the brainwashed set.