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Surgeon TestimonialPhillip Hornbostel, M.D.We went to the April 5th seminar and I felt so secure with my decision for the first time since I began thinking about surgery. Dr. Hornbostel is a very down to earth doctor, he knows how we got this way and he doesn't sugar coat it. I loved it when he talked about his goals for us. Each of us have an ideal weight we'd love to be but Dr. Hornbostel only cares about his goal for us which is to help us get rid of things like diabetes, arthritis, etc. He was very open about the risks of surgery and gave us information on how to recognize them. The aftercare program is very thourough. As I mentioned above I am very calm about this whole thing now and it is because of the confidence of Dr. Hornbostel and his staff. |
Well... on June 10, 2010 6:42 am
I can now say that a breakup does cause weight loss and now I want to change my username and can't. Joeyzgirl is no more and while that's ok because he was abusive and mean, he has already moved on and I am sitting here crying all the time. The jerk wouldn't let me go, he was texting her and calling her and even though I had moved out he was still texting me and calling me babe and honey and telling me he loved me. I don't doubt that, we both love each other because of Brooklyn and 4 years of life together. But he wouldn't leave me alone, I finally told him Tuesday that he CANNOT text me anymore, that I can't do this, so instead of two weeks of being broken up, it feels like only days. I am trying not to check my phone constantly, even though he has respected my wishes so far.
I have had so much happen lately, and I know they say God will never give you more than you can handle, but with the death of my dad, then my grandma, moving back into my moms and then my sister breaking up with her boyfriend and following me, it seems like the change I hate so much is just bombarding me. I have a trailer that still needs to be fixed up, but I don't want to put any more money in it if I am not going to want to live in it. All I see when I go in there are his ideas and the work he did on it. It hurts me so bad. But sometimes I think what I miss is my Dish with DVR and me and Brooklyn's little habits and my computer with DSL and all that great stuff. At my mom's I am limited to one room again and just feel stifled. Its a decision I need to make soon.
Its just so frustrating to think about them together and like my sister said if I was a fly on the wall its probably nothing, not romantic at all, especially with her kids there all the time. SIGH
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Been Awhile on April 19, 2010 6:42 am
Thanks for all the encourragement this last month (I don't think I spelled that right). Time is passing and there is a lot going on. I still grieve my dad but not everyday like I was at first. THere is so much on my mind and it makes it hard to concentrate on myself.
I lost 8 lbs. this week and I am stoked about that. We are moving again so last time we did I lost a bunch all at once, so another big weight loss may be coming my way. Its a good move, out to the family land, although the trailer is a fixer upper and I am a little worried about that, it is livable and much cheaper.
Other than that things are moving along pretty normal. found out about a support group in my area and I would really like to try to make it. I think it will really help me stay on track and its just a good thing to connect with others like me, face to face, not just online.
My BF is working again after being fired. I am so upset at him about that, he swears it wasn't his fault, that the guy picked the fight and that he didn't fight back, but they sided with the other guy. I want to trust him, but i know his temper, but I also know how much he loved that job too, I don't think he would have sacrificed losing it. The job he has now is temporary and sort of top secret, so until June things will be ok but we have to keep the applications going.
The messed up thing is he was trying to get into trucking school and we couldn't afford it, and if the state had waited 2 more days to release him, he would have been able to draw unemployment and the state would have had to pay for the school. What do you want to bet they knew that when they picked the dates they did? Oh well its over and done with now but its sort of like a break-up, you feel bitter and resentful over it all the same.
Anywho, I better get back to work. Things are crazy here as usual. My walking buddy is gone, her husband had surgery, so for two more weeks I have to push myself to walk and that isn't working so far. But I am motivated and today is a new day and this is a new week.
Until next time...
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I guess life moves ever on on March 10, 2010 11:43 am
Its been 5 days since my dad died. Five long days since we lifted him up to see if he was ok and I saw my dad in a way I never wanted to see him. My dad had heart disease and diabetes from a lifetime of smoking, drinking, and being overweight. Well after he got out of the military he put on the weight. He was one of my biggest supporters of this surgery, he wanted me to be healthy so I didn't have to go through the pain he was going through.
We thought we'd have him forever, he had already lived 6 years longer than he was supposed to. Every week he would ask me how much I had lost, how I was doing. Why didn't I sit and talk longer? Why didn't I hug him more, tell him i loved him more, pay more attention to him?
I miss him so much, my heart is breaking, it has given me new resolve to take this weight off and at the same time I am wanting to eat more and more, food was always my comfort and I am fighting it hand and foot, but the feelings are there all the same.
This is my first death experience when it comes to a close family member. When my boyfriend's mom was murdered it was hard, but not like this, I was more hurt for him than myself.
I want to leave with these words, I can't write anything else right now, don't take anyone forgranted. Tell them EVERYDAY!!! that you love them. Never believe that they will be there tomorrow to say everything you need to say.
I titled this the way I did because when I fell apart at the funeral was when I saw my dad's watch was still ticking, he was gone but his watch still showed the time passing. | Leave a comment.
My Next Goal on March 1, 2010 6:07 am
I'm 11 lbs. from my next goal, which is TWOTERVILLE!!! Even when I knew I wanted the surgery I still didn't feel this was possible.
I am in a mens 46 waist jeans and I feel so great about that. I bought a pair of jeans from American Eagle, in the store!, no less, and I am done catalog shopping.
I am floored to weigh 310 lbs and it has fueled me to just keep going. My weight loss right now bounces back and forth between 2-3 lbs. I like to weigh every week, but that doesn't always happen, when I weighed two weeks apart I lost 5 lbs. both times, and this time one week apart I lost 3 lbs. Three lbs. a week is a great loss and I am really happy with it.
Joe's job is going really well, but we are still pretty much broke all the time. We are not good at budgeting money and unfortunately we like to spend, spend, spend. However its nice to be able to spend money without worrying over much about getting the bills paid, but I have got to get a handle on it.
Otherwise things are going pretty smoothly. Brooklyn is now 2 years old and we are going through a little of the terrible two's. She used to love going to daycare but now she is very clingy and we have some issues in the morning. I hope that as she gets used to the changes going on at her daycare, she gets dropped off in a different room, that she will get better, if not oh well, we will have rough mornings. :)
That's about it for now, just charging on toward my goal, trying to exercise more and keep that weight moving off.
5 Day Pouch Test on February 2, 2010 6:45 am
Doing pretty well so far. Yesterday evening was the hardest and at work around lunchtime. I am amazed at how being back on all liquids is making me crave foods I am allowed to have again. I think this is going to be really good for me. I am very excited for my soft stage tomorrow, it feels like starting over again. It is testing me for sure. I am glad to be able to do this though and if I make it i will have an even bigger sense of accomplishment.
I bought new clothes at walmart. Most people hate walmart clothes but I am so excited to not have to special order everything I wear. I am down to a 48 men's jean and that is amazing to me. I just got 54's just before Christmas. I may not be losing pounds but I am losing inches, I just wish I would have started measuring in the beginning, but can't change that now.
Brooklyn's birthday is the 13th, I can't believe she will be 2 years old. She was following me around yesterday saying DUH! DUH Mama! One of the many things I have taught her. She is starting to talk more and I love the interactions I can have with her now.
We spent the tax refund on clothes and furniture and hope to be getting her something great for her birthday too. I bought a washing machine as well, a much needed addition to our family. :) While in the furniture store Brooklyn put her blankie down and we left it there. They were closed on Sunday and Sunday evening Brook came to me and said "Mama, blankie." It broke my heart. I got it back yesterday though and she was so happy.
If I had any advice to offer anyone who is considering surgery it would be to not get caught up in the drama of it all. Make a decision, whatever is best for you, and go for it. No matter which surgery you choose, which dr. (as long as its a good one), or even if you choose to do it without surgery, just go for it, take your life back. I am not even close to my goal but I already feel ten times better about myself. This is the best decision I have ever made. I am so grateful to God that I haven't had the complications that others have had, but even with them I would know that this choice was the right one for me. I never want to be pushing 500 lbs. and wondering how people can stand to look at me ever again. I never want to be walking through a store or work and wonder if the whispering I am hearing is about me. I never want to hear a kid say, that woman is big and fat, and feel like someone just punctured my heart. I am through with all of that. I never want to worry that I will not be able to keep up with my daughter or that she is ashamed of her mama's looks so she doesn't bring friends over. I am so grateful that I was able to do this before Brooklyn was old enough to realize what was happening. All she will know is healthy eating and a healthy momma.
Well that's all for now. If anyone ever has a question and needs advice, a friend, or anything, just message me. I am not on here a lot but I will try to check this at least every other day. Until next time, Amanda.
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My Story
This is my second attempt at getting weight loss surgery. Last year I decided to attend the seminar held in Columbia. I was well on my way to setting up a surgery time when I found out I was pregnant. I have now had my darling daughter, and it was a hard pregnancy, and I want to do this for me, for her, and for any future children I have. I have decided to go with a doctor out of Sedalia, MO because I know they are in my insurance network and I've heard great things.
I've been obese most of my life. As a child I was double jointed and skinny as a bean pole but once puberty hit all of that changed. I just gained and gained, more and more, until I was the laughing stock of my middle school.
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