It feels like time is moving so slowly. There are still so many things on my plate. Brooklyn is a little better, which is good, and back at day care. But otherwise things are not coming together like I'd hoped. I'm excited for my consultation, I feel like once that happens the ball will truly start rolling. My mom goes back and forth on her support. She wants a healthy life for me but isn't sure this is how she wants me to do it. After twenty years of trying to diet she has to see that I can't do it without this tool. I know she supports my decision, I think she just wishes there was some other way. My BF is in complete support of this for me. He wants me healthy for our daughter but also wants me to see me as he does, the beautiful woman within. I worry about excess skin after all is said and done. I'm so big and my skin is so stretched. But I will consider plastic surgery no matter the cost especially if its causing me problems. The areas I worry about the most are my arms and stomach.
I hear so many people say exactly what weight they want to be and so many people ask me the same question. I don't have an answer. Right now I'm not concerned about being that certain weight. I just want to be done with diabetes if possible and no longer have to take metformin. I want to be able to buy my clothes from any store and not from a catalog and I want to be able to walk up the driveway without needing to sit down. Maybe after some weight is gone I will be able to pin a number to it, but for now its all about how I feel physically and maybe that isn't good, because having a strict goal in mind would help me focus on what I want to accomplish.
On a whim I calculated what I should weight and its 140-184 lbs. WOW, quite a difference from 453 lbs.
I'm not sure exactly how long I'm supposed to take off work. I have a  little leave but its being used up quickly. My mom did offer to donate leave to me if needed through the leave donor program which does take some worries off of my mind. Well I'll finish here and get back to work.