Another month has gone by. This past month I've been able to accomplish some things I didn't picture myself doing. I am following a training schedule for the half marathon and I ran 7 miles this past weekend. So far, that's my longest run. This is very doable for anybody who is patient enough to go through the steps. I started by following a schedule to run a 5k (3 miles). After that, I felt I really wanted to do more; I got the "running bug". This current schedule will take me up to November when the marathon takes place; so it's a slow process. I absolutely love it. Because of the running, I can wear a smaller size with little weight loss between sizes. I still have 10 pounds to my goal and I will need to make a strong effort to watch what I eat to get there. But, only having 10 pounds to worry about is so much better than 100! My goal is 100 pounds from my top weight. So, for other things that have changed; I fit into seating situations with no problems (airplanes, armed chairs, movie theatre seating, etc. I can wear the sizes I wore in high school again....I can shop for clothes where ever misses sizes are sold...a HUGE rush! I have so much more self confidence. I used to feel so self conscious around thin people. Now, even though I am not "thin" I feel I am "average" which has made a big difference in how I feel in social situations. I think I am more outgoing, too. I am definetly soft hearted towards others who carry a lot of extra weight. I hope I never forget how it was, AND I hope I never have to feel those feelings again. I am able to overeat at times, which is scarey. I still have things to work out. But, overall, life is a lot more fulfilling. I plan on going to an amusement park and a water park this summer; the amusement park to experience how it feels to be confident you won't fall out because you weigh too much, and the water park because now I am under the weight limit to get on the water slides like the kids. :) My body is a bit saggy and baggy but I'm okay with that. I try to wear clothes that accentuate the positives. :) The right clothes do wonders!

Where has the time gone. I have seriously been delinquent in writting. It's been 8 months since surgery. I have been very pleased with the results. I am close to my goal weight. My current pictures aren't posted, but I do look different. I am grateful that I have not, so far, had any major health problems since surgery. The time has come when weight loss is very slow, but that's okay. Up to this point, as of a month or so ago, the weight came off pretty easily. Now, I have to work at it, meaning it's easier to eat more and I can tolerate more kinds of food, so despite exercising, I still need to watch what I eat. One can stop losing or gain weight back if they don't change their habits. I am at that point of coming to terms with this truth. When I first had my surgery I couldn't stand to watch people eat because it seemed like so much food to me and it made me quesey. Now, I, too, can eat more, not as much as preop, but more than post op. So, now, more than ever, the need to really focus on what I'm doing is important. I didn't want to think of ever going on a diet again after surgery. I don't plan on dieting at this point, but the fact that I can physically eat more food scares me to the point of realizing that I will probably be able to eat even more as time continues to pass, SO, I need to pay better attention to old habits that come up and take care of them. One by one, they need to go bye bye. Sianara. Adios. etc.

Okay. I have been avoiding writting on this forum because I am embarassed. The truth is I need support. I thought I was doing so good, and I was, but I was doing it without help from others who have gone this way before. Recently, I have developed more and more fear that I haven't really changed. I want to eat more food now, I can eat more food now and I am afraid the same fear of food will come back in full force as it was before surgery. Preop, I had a lot of fear about food. I didn't trust myself either. I felt powerless. I felt defeated. I felt deperate. I had worried, prayed, planned, and read over and over through the years about how to stop overeating. I know many people use eating as a way to cope, relax, stay awake...there must be a million reasons why we eat. I felt I was just unable to stop for any length of time or permanetly. So, in final desperation...I looked into this surgery. My whole life was spent afraid of my weight and wishing I didn't have to eat at all...and I thought this surgery would end all that. For a time it has. I have lost a good amount of my excess weight. I get lots of compliments, too. But in MY HEAD are the voices I heard before surgery. I am afraid of eating myself back. I am afraid of not getting to my goal....sort of. I am afraid that once I loose the weight I will be one of those people who gains it back. I don't want to go back to that life. I know I was so unhappy. So, the sobering truth is.....it's not over. I still have to work at this emotionally, spiritually and physically. This surgery really only is a tool.......there is work to be done now and in the future. I am not a doomed failure. Thanks for reading. Thanks for posting me back if you do. I just needed to write this all out.

So, now it's February. In Louisiana it's cold one day and warm and muggy the next. I'm anxious for Spring. I have been working on this journey since August. It's been a journey. I am happy with my weight loss and the strength/endurance I have gained from exercising. I love wearing cuter clothes. I still get lots of compliments, which I also like. I have 27 pounds more till goal. As time goes by I am more and more aware that I need to keep working on lifestyle changes. You really can eat more and tolerate more as time go on. So, being responsible with your choices is a life long journey. Losing the weight is just the begining. Still, this was a good choice for me to get a great start towards the healthier person I want to be. Every person is subject to the results of how they treat their body. Some time, some day, it will catch up with you. WLS is a great tool for those who need it. I'm grateful for a husband who supported me to go that direction.

Hello everyone. It's been a month since I updated. Life is going well post WLS. I have lost 70 pounds. I am working on a training program for the first 10K. Today I ran 4 miles and I loved it!! Weight loss is slowing down this month, but as long as it keeps going, I'm happy. I have 30 more to go till I reach 100, and that should be good. Anything more after 100 pds. is gravey....low fat gravey of course. I feel better emotionally and physically. I am comfortable in my own skin....even though some of it needs to go...that's another story. :) It's been five months now. I hope to be at go by my birthday in June. Hope all of my OH friends are doing well and enjoying your new life!!