I THINK IT IS TIME I WROTE ABOUT MY FAMILY LIFE. MAYBE THIS WILL HELP ME. NOT SURE WHERE TO START.
OK HERE GOES....
I GUESS I WILL START OUT BACK IN JANUARY OF 1996. GARY (HUBBY) WAS SENT IN FOR A CT SCAN ON HIS HEAD. EYE DR SAW WHAT I HAVE BEEN TELLING GARY FOR MONTHS THAT HIS RIGHT EYE WAS PROTRUDING OUT FURTHER THAN HIS LEFT EYE. SO THE CT SCAN WAS DONE AND THE DR CALLED US AT NIGHT A FEW DAYS LATER. HE SAW A TUMOR AND WANTED GARY TO GO SEE DR SCHELL. OK WE GOT THE APPOINTMENT AND WENT IN FOR A CONSULTATION. GARY HAD A HUGE TUMOR THAT WAS GROWING OFF THE SIDE OF HIS SKULL AND IT WAS THE SIZE OF A BASEBALL. HIS BRAIN WAS PUSHED ALL THE WAY OVER OUT OF NORMAL BRAIN AREA AND HIS EYE WAS PROTRUDING BECAUSE THE TUMOR HAD NO WHERE TO GROW. DR TOLD US IF HE DIDN'T HAVE SURGERY SOON HE WOULD HAVE A MAJOR STROKE IN LESS THAN SIX WEEKS!!! SO SURGERY WAS PLANNED. WE WENT TO THE HOSPITAL AND THE DR HAD TO CAUTERIZE THE BLOOD VESSELS OFF FIRST BEFORE HE COULD REMOVE THE TUMOR. WELL IT TURNED OUT TO BE SO MANY BLOOD VESSELS THAT THE DR COULDN'T DO THEM ALL AT THIS TIME OR GARY COULD HAVE A STROKE. WE HAD TO COME BACK THE FOLLOWING WEEK AND THEN IT WOULD BE OVER WITH. SO THE FOLLOWING WEEK WE WENT BACK AND ONCE AGAIN THE DR CAUTERIZED THE BLOOD VESSELS OFF AND THEN HE WENT TO SURGERY FOR THE REMOVAL OF THE TUMOR. I WAS GOING ABOUT INSANE WITH WORRY OVER THIS SERIOUS OPERATION AND WAS SO GLAD IT WAS FINALLY OVER. DR GOT THE TUMOR OUT AND IT WAS BEGNINE (SP). GARY WAS IN CCU FOR A DAY AND THEN WENT TO ICU FOR A COUPLE DAYS THEN TO A NORMAL ROOM FOR ANOTHER DAY. HE WAS DOING SO WELL THE DR WAS AMAZED. SO HE GOT TO COME HOME TO RECOUPERATE. THANK GOD HE WAS GOING TO BE OK!!!!!!!!!!! THEN LETS MOVE AHEAD TO MARCH OF 2000. GARY WAS FOUND TO HAVE PROSTATE CANCER. OH GOD HERE WE GO AGAIN.....ANOTHER SURGERY!!!! SO OFF WE GO TO THE HOSPITAL AND GARY HAS SURGERY TO REMOVE HIS PROSTATE. ANOTHER MIRACLE IN HIS RECOVERY. COUPLE DAYS LATER HE IS HOME RECOUPERATING AGAIN. (TO THIS DAY THE DR TELLS GARY HE IS A PERFECT ASSHOLE....I LOVE THIS DR....HE IS SO CARING AND IS WONDERFUL!!!) THEN LETS GO AHEAD TO JULY 2002. I HAVE HERNIA SURGERY. I WAS AN OPERATION WAITING TO HAPPEN DR SAID. SO I HAVE OPEN SURGERY. CUT FROM JUST UNDER MY BREAST BONE TO BELLY BUTTON. HERNIA WAS WRAPPED AROUND MY ESOPHAGUS. I MADE IT THROUGH THIS SURGERY OK...BUT THE PAIN OF HAVING THIS DONE OPEN...OMG!!!!! BUT I SURVIVED IT!!!!
THE FOLLOWING YEAR 2003 MOTHER FINDS OUT SHE HAS VULVAR CANCER!!!! SHE HAS SURGERY TO HAVE IT REMOVED. I TAKE CARE OF HER WASHING OUT AND CHANGING HER DRESSINGS ON HER INSCISIONS WHERE THE LYMPHNODES WERE CUT OUT. GET HER ALL BETTER AND UP AND AROUND AGAIN...MY OLDER SISTER HAS VULVAR CANCER ALSO!!!!!!!!!!! I WENT WITH HER TO THE SAME DR THAT DID MOM'S SURGERY. THIS DR TOLD ME WHEN I WENT WITH MOM THAT THIS WAS NOT A INHERITED CANCER....SO WHEN WE WERE THERE TALKING TO HIM I ASKED HIM AGAIN IF IT WAS HEREDITARY. HE SAID NO IT WAS NOT. I TOLD HIM IT MUST BE BECAUSE MOM JUST HAD IT AND NOW MY SISTER HAS IT!!!! HE SWORE TO ME IT WAS NOT HEREDITARY!!! I TOLD HIM IF I EVER GOT IT I WAS NOT COMING TO SEE HIM....AND I MEAN IT TOO!!!! SO ANYHOW...MY SISTER HAS SURGERY TO REMOVE THE CANCER. GET HER ALL BETTER AND DR SAYS SHE IS CANCER FREE....THREE DAYS LATER SHE IS SICK....CANCER IS BACK AGAIN!!! SO THIS TIME SHE HAS TO HAVE ANOTHER SURGERY AND RADIATION AND CHEMO. I LOST MY JOB SO I WAS GOING TO TAKE CARE OF HER THIS TIME. (HER DAUGHTER DID IT LAST TIME) I TOOK HER EVERYDAY FOR SIX WEEKS FOR CHEMO AND RADIATION. GOT HER WELL AGAIN. DR SAID SHE WAS CANCER FREE AND COULD GO BACK TO A NORMAL LIFE AGAIN. WELL THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN....SHE HAD A DELAYED REACTION TO THE CHEMO AND RADIATION. ENDED UP IN THE HOSPITAL SEVERAL TIMES IN THE NEXT FEW MONTHS....THEN FOUND THE CANCER CAME BACK YET AGAIN.....THIS TIME THE DR HAD TO REMOVE EVEN MORE OF THE VULVA AREA AND ALSO THE RECTUM AREA. SHE HAD TO HAVE A COLOSTOMY AND ALSO A HYSTERECTOMY....NOT SURE IF SHE WOULD LOSE HER BLADDER OR NOT. WHEN SHE CAME OUT OF SURGERY THIS TIME WE ALMOST LOST HER. FOR THE NEXT TWO YEARS SHE WAS IN BED. DIDN'T WANT TO LIVE...HATED WHAT THIS CANCER DID TO HER. (THE JOB SHE HAD AS AN LPN SHE WAS FIRED FROM BECAUSE SHE HAD CANCER!!!!!) BUT FINALLY SHE STARTED TO COME AROUND AND ACCEPT IT AS HER LIFE NOW. SHE HAS BAD DAYS AND GOOD DAYS...SHE IS NOW CANCER FREE FOR TWO YEARS NOW. THANK THE LORD!!!!!!!!! SHE DOES HAVE TO HAVE STENDTS PUT IN HER KIDNEY/BLADDER LINES TO HELP HER PEE SO FOR NOW SHE STILL HAS HER BLADDER. SO IN THE MEAN TIME GARY HAS A PROBLEM WITH SWALLOWING FOODS....HE HAS SOMETHING STUCK AND I RUSH HIM TO ER AND THEY FIND HE HAS BARRETTS ESOPHAGUS!!!!!!!!! WE WERE TOLD ITS ONE STEP AWAY FROM CANCER!!!!! SO THE DR DIALATED HIS ESOPHAGUS AND HE IS OK. HAS TO HAVE THIS DONE SEVERAL TIMES TO KEEP IT OPEN. HE IS DOING OK WITH THIS NOW BUT STILL EVERY YEAR IF NOT SOONER IT HAS TO BE STRETCHED AGAIN. SO IN THE MEANTIME GARY GETS THIS SWOLLEN HAND. WE GO TO THE ER (DR'S OFFICE IS CLOSED) AND THEY FIND HE HAS AN INFECTION IN HIS THUMB!!! SO HE IS ADMITTED TO THE HOSPITAL AND HAS TO HAVE IV ANTIBIOTICS ROUND THE CLOCK. SO FINALLY HE GETS TO COME HOME AND THE VISITING NURSES COME TO SHOW ME HOW TO DO THIS IV THING TWICE A DAY. I ALSO HAVE TO SOAK HIS HAND IN THIS BETADINE SOLOUTION FOR 15 MINUTES ALSO THREE TIMES A DAY AND CHANGE THE DRESSING. SO I LEARNED HOW TO DO THAT STUFF. IN THE MEAN TIME....ANOTHER TUMOR HAS COME TO GIVE GARY PROBLEMS!!! ANOTHER TUMOR IS GROWING OFF HIS EYE SOCKET AND ITS WRAPPED AROUND THE OPTIC NERVE. DR SCHELL WILL NOT OPERATE ON IT. SAID HE NEEDS A WHOLE TEAM OF DR'S TO DO THIS ONE. ITS NOT GROWING BUT SUGGESTED RADIATION ON IT TO MAYBE SHRINK IT. WHILE ALL THIS IS GOING ON I AM NOTICING THAT GARY IS HAVING SOME DEMENTIA PROBLEMS. HE HAS BEEN SEEING A THERAPIST FOR HIS DEPRESSION AND I ASKED IF I COULD GO TO HIS NEXT APPOINTMENT WITH HIM. I WANTED TO TALK TO THIS DR. WELL I WENT AND THIS DR HAD THE NERVE TO TELL ME THAT IT WAS ME THAT HAD THE PROBLEM AND NOT GARY!!!! I ABOUT WENT OVER THAT DESK AND GRABBED THAT WOMAN!!!!! SO THAT WAS THE LAST TIME I HAD GARY GO SEE HER!!!! SO I WENT TO OUR PCP AND TOLD HIM WHAT I WAS SEEING IN GARY....HE SAID IT WAS DEPRESSION...GRRRRRRR WHY WON'T ANYONE LISTEN TO ME???? I STARTED TAKING NOTES ON HIS WEIRD THINGS HE WAS DOING. TOOK THEM TO THE DR AGAIN. HE STILL SAID HE DIDN'T THINK ANYTHING WAS WRONG WITH HIM!!!! SO I KEPT ON TAKING NOTES ON HIS BEHAVIOR. NEXT TIME I WENT TO SEE HIM I TOOK MY SISTER WITH ME. SHE TALKED TO HIM IN MEDICAL TERMS AND GOT HIM TO LISTEN TO ME!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!!!!! SO OK ALL THIS TIME I WAS GIVING GARY HIS IV ANTIBIOTICS AND CHANGING HIS DRESSINGS ON HIS THUMB AND TAKING HIM TO RADIATION FIVE TIMES A WEEK. THE RADIATION MADE HIS DEMENTIA PROBLEMS WORSE....ALSO FOUND OUT HE HAD A DELAYED REACTION TO THE ANTIBIOTIC THAT HE WAS GIVEN FOR 10 WEEKS!!!!! HE HAD A RASH ALL OVER HIS BODY!!! THE DAY I FOUND THIS RASH I HAD HIM TO FIVE DIFFERENT DR'S AND FINALLY THE INFECTIOUS CONTROL DR SAID HE WOULD PUT HIM IN THE HOSPITAL!!!! THANKYOU GOD FOR THIS DR!!!!!!!!!!! SO WE GOT HIM TO THE HOSPITAL AND HE FOUGHT ME TOOTH AND NAIL....HE WOULD NOT CO-OPERATE AT ALL IN STAYING THERE!!! HAD TO CALL HIS SON JEFF TO COME HELP ME WITH HIM. WE FINALLY GOT HIM SETTLED IN THERE AT THE HOSPITAL. THEY SAW WHAT STATE HE WAS IN AND WE FOUND A NURSING HOME FOR HIM TO GO TO FOR REHAB. HE HATED ME SO MUCH BACK THEN. BUT I COULDN'T HAVE HIM AT HOME ANYMORE. HE WAS RUNNING AROUND HALF DRESSED AND STEALING THINGS UNAWARE THAT HE WAS DOING THAT STUFF. BUT HE SPENT FIVE MONTHS IN THE NURSING HOME. HE STARTED TO GET BETTER AND BETTER EACH DAY AND WE FINALLY SAID HE WAS WELL ENOUGH TO COME HOME AGAIN. THAT WAS MARCH 2006 HE CAME HOME AGAIN. I STARTED LOOKING INTO HAVING WLS IN FEBRUARY OF 2006. WENT TO MY FIRST CONSULTATION IN APRIL AND THEN OCTOBER 17TH I HAD MY WLS AT MMPC. BUT ALL THAT IS ALREADY IN MY PROFILE SO I WON'T COVER THAT AGAIN. NOW LETS JUMP TO MAY 2007. GARY STARTS TO HAVE PROBLEMS AGAIN WITH DEMENTIA. STARTED NOTICING IT SOON AFTER SPIKE WAS KILLED. CALLED HIS DR AND TOLD HER THAT HE WAS HAVING PROBLEMS AGAIN WITH REGRESSING. SHE PUT HIM ON A NEW MEDICINE (WHICH I CAN'T THINK OF THE NAME RIGHT NOW...STARTS WITH A K) BUT ANYHOW IT MADE HIS DEMENTIA PROBLEMS WORSE. WE TOOK HIM OFF THE MEDS AND IS NOW SEEING A THERAPIST AGAIN. GARY CLAIMS THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH HIM AND DOESN'T WANT TO GO BACK TO THIS GUY. I AM SO AFRAID HE IS GOING TO END UP BACK IN THE NURSING HOME. I PRAY TO GOD THAT HE WILL MAKE GARY BETTER AGAIN. BUT I AM SURE ITS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN THIS TIME....JUST A FEELING I HAVE.
WELL THAT IS IT FOR THE SICKNESS IN THE FAMILY RIGHT NOW.
OK NOW FOR THE STORY ON MY KIDS. I HAVE TWO BOYS. DAVID IS THE OLDEST AND IS NOW 36 YEARS OLD. DANNY IS GOING ON 35 YEARS OLD. I DIVORCED THEIR DAD BACK IN APRIL OF 1975. I COULDN'T TAKE BEING BEATEN ALL THE TIME FOR NO REASON AT ALL. I TRIED FOR 4 LONG YEARS TO MAKE THAT MARRIAGE WORK. SO ANY HOW I TRIED BEING A SINGLE PARENT. I COULDN'T DO IT ALONE. I GAVE UP CUSTODY TO MY EX IN 1980. IT BROKE MY HEART BUT I HAD NO CHOICE. HE COULD CARE FOR THEM SO MUCH BETTER THAN I COULD. HE HAD A GOOD JOB WITH GM AND MAKING MONEY...BIG MONEY. I HAD A MINIMUM WAGE JOB AND COULDN'T MAKE ENDS MEET. SO I THOUGHT I DID WHAT WAS BEST FOR MY BOYS. IN 1981 GARY MOVED IN WITH ME AND BECAME ENGAGED. THE BOYS THOUGHT IT WAS PRETTY COOL. I WAS STILL WORKING AT A MINIMUM WAGE JOB AND DOING SOME WHAT BETTER SINCE GARY MOVED IN WITH ME. SO LIFE WENT ON AND GARY AND I WERE MARRIED IN MAY 1985. LIFE WAS LOOKING BETTER. IN 1995 DANNY TOLD ME I WAS GOING TO BE A GRANDMA....OMG!!!!!! I WASN'T READY TO BE A GRANDMA YET!!! BUT IN SEPTEMBER I BECAME A GRANDMA. TYLOR WAS BORN. WHEN I SAW THAT BABY MY HEART MELTED!!! HE WAS SO TINY AND PRECIOUS!!!! DANNY AND HIS GIRLFRIEND TIMMIE DIDN'T BELIEVE IN MARRIAGE SO THEY NEVER MARRIED.
THEN IN OCTOBER OF 1995 DAVID AND TERI GOT MARRIED. I HAD THE DAUGHTER I ALWAYS WANTED. UNTIL SHE BECAME PREGNANT!!! (OMG I JUST REALIZED THAT SHE WAS PREGNANT BEFORE THEY WERE MARRIED!!!) THEN THINGS ALL STARTED TO CHANGE. I WAS PLANNING ON A BABY SHOWER FOR HER. WELL I WAS INFORMED THAT SHE ONLY WANTED ONE SHOWER AND I HAD TO GO IN WITH HER MOTHER IF I WANTED TO GIVE HER ONE. WELL AT THE TIME HER MOTHER WANTED THE SHOWER I WAS UP TO MY EYEBALLS WITH GARY AND HIS LIFE AND DEATH SURGERY!!!! SO I TOLD HER NO. IF SHE DIDN'T WANT ME TO GIVE HER A SHOWER THEN I WOULDN'T GIVE ONE. (AND AFTER THE WEDDING SHOWER I REALLY DIDN'T CARE IF I GAVE HER ONE OR NOT!!! EVERYTHING I MADE FOR THE FOOD HER AND HER BRIDESMAIDS DIDN'T LIKE...NOTHING WENT RIGHT FROM THEN ON!!!!) SO THE BABY WAS BORN IN MAY. I HAD A GRANDDAUGHTER. THEY WERE LIVING WITH TERI'S PARENTS YET AND I DIDN'T WANT TO SHARE THE JOY OF SEEING MY NEW GRANDDAUGHTER WITH THEM THERE. I WANTED THEM TO BRING HER OVER TO MY HOUSE. DAVID REFUSED. SAID THEY COULDN'T TAKE HER OUT UNTIL SHE WAS BAPTIZED. GIVE ME A BREAK!!! SO I NEVER DID MEET BREONA. SHE WAS BORN IN 1996. MY SON HAS BROKEN OFF ALL TIES WITH ME SINCE SHE WAS BORN. HE BLAMES ME FOR THE DIVORCE AND EVERYTHING ELSE UNDER THE SUN. HE ALSO HAS DANNY CONVINCED THAT HE DOESN'T NEED ME. SO ITS BEEN SINCE TYLOR TURNED 2 THAT I LAST SAW THEM.
I HAVE ANOTHER GRANDAUGHTER FROM DAVID AND TWO MORE GRANDSONS FROM DANNY. I HAVE NEVER MET THEM AT ALL. YES THEY LIVE NEAR BY. I SAW DAVID AND TERI WHEN GARY'S SON IN LAW DIED. THEY NEVER TALKED TO ME AT ALL. THEY WERE ALL AT THE FUNERAL HOME FOR THE FUNERAL. MY GRANDDAUGHTERS WERE THERE ALSO. THEY NEVER TOLD THEM I WAS THERE AND WAS THEIR GRANDMA.
FROM WHAT MY YOUNGER BROTHER JOE TELLS ME...DAVID WANTED TO TALK TO ME AND MAKE AMENDS. HE HAD THE CHANCE TO TALK TO ME...DID HE??? NO!!!!!! HE IS ALL TALK AND NEVER FOLLOWS THROUGH...JUST LIKE HIS FATHER!!!! OH!! MY EX WAS THERE AT THE FUNERAL...HE STAYED AWAY FROM ME. GOOD THING BECAUSE I WOULD HAVE KICKED HIM RIGHT SQUARE IN HIS BALLS...IF HE HAD ANY!!!! THE LYING SON OF A BITCH!!!!!! HE TOLD THE KIDS LIES AND SO DID HIS MOTHER. SO THAT IS WHY THEY BLAME ME FOR THE DIVORCE. SOMEDAY WHEN ITS TO LATE THEY WILL COME AROUND. RIGHT NOW IF I DIED I DON'T WANT THEM AT MY FUNERAL. NONE OF THEM AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!
I GOT OVER BEING HURT BY MY BOYS. I AM LIVING MY LIFE JUST FINE WITHOUT THEM. LIFE GOES ON.
SO FOR NOW THIS IS MY LIFE. WILL ADD MORE WHEN ITS TIME. OR I THINK OF SOMETHING I FORGOT.