well i had my 1 yr surgiversary in may, just a few weeks ago. it wasnt exciting. i went for a walk.
I am not where i wanted to be but definately not where i was so the glass is "half" neither empty nor full. I know why, I havent exercised and I have made some poor food choices, especially lately. I wear a size small yoga pant but dont let that fool you, i have a size 8 shorts, size 10 shorts and size 11 pant (though i swear that one is mismarked cuz its my only 11), my jean waist is a 29-30 (depending on my bloat).
when i was a preop i would think, how can people lose all that weight and risk their life just to go back to it..well you cant know till you know. old habits (addictions) die hard and i just didnt have a good enough plan in place to deal with those days and things. i havent been to a support meeting in forever and i havent planned and taken my nutrition as seriously as i need to. to good news, i think its never too late. time for a new plan...time to reach out for more help. time to DEAL with my stresses in life. Open to ideas and helpful comments (nothing negative, i have enough of that in my own head).

Planning nutrition, i can do this...i use to be pretty good at this.
Problems with it:i am a sucker for a craving and i usually give in in a decent way (modified version of before), the volume i eat is more then it probably should be, how to feel full/I drink water with my meals (i know i shouldnt but after doing it for over a year, i have tried and feel like i am just gonna die of thirst without fluid for an hour before or after (ugh, times 3 meals and 2 snacks, when do you drink?????)
Exercise, time and hate...open to ideas here. KEEP IN MIND, I really cant "push it" I can only do mild to brisk walks, ride bikes with little or no hills (my migrines will not allow for more), no gym membership (and not intrested at all), i have some exercise dvds, i also have a 5yr old who is very active and demanding and always BORED!
Stress, how to deal? I will be finding a way to attend a monthly support meeting, but how do you "deal" with stress, i dont get it, i hear people say it but have no idea what that means its like me telling you to "obdirate", you have no idea what i am talking about (OK, cuz i made up that word).
I have dumping but i think that is fadding from over exposure lately, i am hoping it comes back, but if not, i feel i can get over my sugar fix, i am too addicted and cannot have even a little of that stuff...its like my crack, my own personal crack.
so like the beatles said "Help, if you need somebody...PLEASE, PLEASE HELP ME"
much love
jp

WEll, My weightloss has slowed, to be expected says my logic brain, my emotions are like WTF..HELP. I have been working these past 2 weeks (51 hrs work plus 4 hrs school at night, then homework and massage practice)...I am spent and needed time off, GOD saw to it, he made my babysitter awful so i had to fire them, and now i cannot work as much. Funny but probably good. The work was good for me though, very physical running, bending, stretching, lifting..all in a pharmacy.
I am at 165 which should be so exciting but the reality isnt that or it still hasnt hit. i am a size 11 pants and a medium top (depending Old Navy sizes are off, i am a medium in both there). skin skin skin...uck. thankful my face is still tight.
going to see doctor for first follow up in a while. sucks not having insurance the visit is 125 - 175 and the lab is...879. but i gotta do it, i need those labs and my rx for iron.
nervous about graduating school and going back to work or starting to work in massage. it is my life and my love though. when i am finished giving a massage, i am so happy and at peace...strange but true. i never was a giving healing helping person much not for just any body but with massage, i am. i connect to them in a way that only lets me see the good, feel the good and help them get better, to calm the mind and body and restore physical and emotional wellness. and from that we both walk away breathing and smiling in a better place. its just still trippy to me. so is it when i see my leg or a photo of me..wow. even funnier is a fat photo..i am like "that isnt me, i was nver THAT FAT...,was i?"
Still have food issues, try and stick to the doctor advice, protein shakes 3x day and all my suppliments then i try and have a bit of nuts or cheese or that. i do have sugar free chocolates...but i dont feel guilty and i only eat 1 or 2 tiny pieces. i do still measure my food because i know i can eat more, more then i should and more then i want to. me and food got a long road ahead of us! Trying to make peace, and find a healthy happy place.
I do love this sandwhich place called Jimmyjohns, they make a lettuce wrap...mmmh and guilt free! but still, i can eat too much of it, if i dont cut it and portion it out...food is funny because an alcholoic never has to drink again, a drug addict never has to use his heroine again, we, we still have to eat and be surrounded by eating people, smells, commercialls etc! But i am doing it!
supportive family and friends!
well...i gotta go go go!
xoxoxo

i am just waiting for a massage client to arrive and had a second to update. seems  like time has been super fast flying. also know, i am someone else entirely. i hope all you pre-be's understand this, you have no way to know what will change, but know everything might. some its the marriage, others its friends, others get other addictions, i quit my job and changed everything i want out of life. when you cant eat, you have to deal...this has been really hard for me, if i could drink, i would but since i have migraines that is probably good so no addiction transfer. i made myself too busy, school, etc. i cut my own neck as i have no health insurance and yes, i havent had labs in a while. i will get back on it when money allows. i know its serious. the best i can do is to take really good care and take all my protein and suppliments which i have been. when hubby gets health insurance through his work, i will be seen. i dont think by srikanth though, i screwed that all up royally! I didnt know i would get to this place where i did put myself and wants and needs first (job), where i couldnt make myself go to the place of hell everyday, where i had to do something that forfilled me, that spoke or sung from my heart. at no matter the cost.
i am down really good on my weight, wondering where i am going to get the extra 30lbs to make goal, its barely there, on my belly only (thighs, boobs hang like heck  but not much weight).
cant wait to be done with school and figure out how to make a living again. cant wait for holidays to pass, too much emphasis on food and money...gagging me a lil.
who am i now....well a hippie, have i always been? may be a long time ago. a giver, this is new for me. a healer (not truly but more someone who wants to help facilitate healing, its up to god, not me). a thinker, not new. a mistake maker, yes turns out i am actually human, i would have never suspected this one, i was so perfect before (well minus the food issues and surplus 100lbs). I am a friend who is lucky to have a few amazing friends! I am blessed to have God give and take care of me, via some very special people who do and his putting "luck" there.
I am brave, in ways i couldnt ever imagine. i am not horny, i think my mind is too busy and my body too tired, but its getting better. a role model...nah, skip that one! a good mother to my son, may have messed up with daughter but amazing with my son (not a news flash).
sexy...where did that come from??? where did it go when it wasnt here?
a smart ass...always!
hit me up!
JP

well, i had to get a part time job...i knew it was coming so my massage hours available are strictly limited! I will reply to those who can be available during the weekdays (sometime between 9-3) there will be zero saturdays and i think sundays are going to go fast!
i love you all!
I hope to be on here more...just so much going on in life too busy