OK, so I was watching TV this evening and doing the internet thing, and I looked up to see a delicious looking bowl of food being displayed on TV.  It had pieces of beef, and rice, several kinds of vegetables, and a nice sauce.  And I thought, hey that looks wonderful, I will be able to eat that in a few months.  Then the commerical went on and I found I had been looking forward to ........... dog food!  It was a Beneful commercial!    LOL

I guess I'm more tired of the two-week pre-op diet than I have admitted.  I know it's going to get tougher before it gets better too.  Sigh....but it will be so worth it in the end!!

Well, four more days to go until surgery day!  I'm just sort of in a holding pattern.  Drinking my water, eating my supplements, exercising a bit.  Yesterday's exercise was mowing my front and back yards.  I usually split it up into two days, but for some reason decided to do it all at one time.  I was really tired when I was done.  Good exercise though!

I'm planning to wait two more days, and then tell my ex and my ex-mother-in-law about my surgery.  My ex-mother-in-law is still a part of my life but is a worrier and is opinionated, which can be a difficult combination, so I thought I'd wait until the last minute to tell her.  I'm telling my ex because he's the kids' dad, and should probably know I'll be out of commission for a few days, even though they're old enough to take care of themselves.

The kids and my family have known about my plans since the beginning!

Today my sweet 13½ year old son told me he thought I already looked slimmer.  He's going to make someone an awesome husband some day.

The kids and I had a fun family day today.  We went over to the beach - Grand Haven State Park at Lake Michigan - and frollicked in the water for a bit.  It's still a bit chilly 67°.  Then we sat on the beach and chatted and got a bit of sunburn.  Where we were, there are no boardwoalks, so it's a lot of walking in the sand to get to and from the beach.  I'm counting that as my exercise today.

The kids requested hamburgers and fruit salad for dinner, so I came home and grilled and chopped.   When I was married, my husband was the family cook.  Since divorcing, I've had to learn how to cook/grill and I'm getting better all the time.  In general, I cook very low-fat anyway, so I don't think I'll need to change much when I start to be able to eat normal food again.  Anyway, the kids raved over today's meal and I was strong and did not sample anything.

I got the call from Spectrum for pre-registration for the surgery next week.  This is real...and it's getting closer!!  I can't wait!

Everything is still going well.  I still feel a little weak, light-headed, but that's probably to be expected.

I saw the PA today and weighed in at 288.  I lost 9.4 pounds in the 1st week of the pre-surgery diet, so that's cool.  And all together, that's down 20 lbs since my very first consult appointment on May 12th.

So far, I'm not too nervous about the upcoming surgery.  I'm a single mom and homeowner.  I'm making lists of things I need to accomplish by next Wednesday so I don't have to do chores in my first days of recovery.  I'd better get the lawn mowed!

My right big toe has been sore on and off the last couple of days.  They did pre-op blood tests today, and checked my uric acid levels while they were at it, to make sure I'm not starting gout in that toe.

I have found that it is easier for me to drink my water if I drink Crystal Lite.  I had never had CL until I started this journey.  Generally, I would say it's too sweet tasting, but it's a pleasant change after the rest of the blandish supplement stuff.

Well, I guess everything is going well.  I've stuck to the diet and have only eaten the products I'm supposed to.  Yesterday I gave the workout tapes a try.  It's called Kettlenetics.  I haven't made it through a workout yet.  Tonight I went walking again.

One thing I am starting to notice is that I am tired and feel a bit weak.  I'm guessing this is because of the 800 calories per day.  My scale says I'm down to 288, but it usually reads a few pounds lighter than the scale at MMPC.

I tried a few more products from the sample box from MMPC.  The spaghetti was pretty good, I was surprised.  My favorite warm thing so far is the Cream of Vegetable soup.  I like a lot of the cold items.  One item I have not enjoyed is the strawberry pudding.  I'm going to try to make a drink from the packet tomorrow and see if I like that way better.  The chocolate pudding is OK.

On Thursday, I have my last pre-op appointment with the PA and have to turn in my product order for the two weeks post-op.  So, I've got to narrow down my decisions by then.

Tonight I bought a box of sugar free popsicles.  This will be a little treat and will count towards my water totals.  I am doing great with the drinking of the water. 

Well, it’s near the end of day 4 and I am still doing well.  No cheating with the eating!  I had my first challenge of sorts in that I cooked a nice meal for the kids today, but didn’t taste anything.  I made BBQ chicken breasts on the grill, red skin potatoes, corn, and dinner rolls.  I ate PROTI Cream of Vegetable Soup.  It actually was pretty good and only counted as one of my ten points for the day. 

I didn’t order any soup when I ordered my product for the two week pre-surgery diet.  All the patients were told it was wise to buy the $30 sample pack of PROTI items and try them out before doing the big order.  I got my sample packet kind of late in the game and didn’t have a chance to try everything.  I did try the Chicken Noodle soup and thought it was bad - it seemed gritty (with protein, no doubt).  Anyway, I ended up ordering no soup, but still have the items from the sample packet that I hadn’t tried.  To change things up, I decided to try the soup while I sat with the kids at the dinner table.  A pleasant surprise.  I’ll have to order some of this for the after-surgery diet.

Yesterday,  I was bad and didn’t exercise.  Today I walked a mile.  Tomorrow, I’m going to try out the workout tapes I purchased.  I’ll also do trash duty which always works up a sweat.

I have a doctor’s appointment on Thursday, my last pre-op.  I wonder if I’ll lose much weight from this pre-diet.  They said I would, but so far, nothing dramatic.  Maybe a pound or two.  But, I have lost about 15 pounds total since my first appointment back on May 12th. 

My anxiety has been rearing its ugly head, and I’m wondering if its related to surgery.  I’m anxious about my job more than anything, but I had been handling work stress so well, it’s funny it should crop up right now, especially with school out for the summer. 

All is going well so far.  I have actually not been hungry on the 800 calorie diet - just missing the continual grazing I used to do.

I went on two walks yesterday.  The first was a very short walk with my poor very overweight beagle.  She doesn’t seem to eat too much - but her main goal in life is to move as little as possible, and her second goal is to sleep as much as she can.  We probably walked an 8th of a mile when she turned around on her own and headed back for home.  I’ll keep working with her - maybe she’ll go a bit further each day.

My second walk was with my black lab/chow mix.  She loves to walk!  We probably walked two miles at a good clip.  I wasn’t wearing appropriate shoes and have near blisters from my sandals.  I guess today when I walk, I’ll definitely wear my gym shoes.

It has been beautiful weather in Michigan the last few days.  I know once the high temps and humidity move back in, it’s going to be tougher to make myself walk.

I got caught up in an infomercial last weekend for some exercise DVD’s, so maybe I’ll do those when I don’t get out to walk.

Yesterday was a very important day for me.  I turned 43 years young, and also began the two week strict diet leading up to my Roux-en-Y gastric bypass weight loss surgery on July 3, 2008.

In so many ways, I see this as re-starting an important part of my life.

I’ve been overweight for the last 20 years, which mirrored the years I was married for the most part.  I’ve been divorced/separated for almost two years now, and feel I’ve emotionally settled enough to really begin to work on me.

Why did I decide to have weight loss surgery?  I just can’t beat this weight problem on my own.  I need help on this journey.  Who am I doing this for?  I’m doing this for me and my family.  Mostly me, as my kids like me the way I currently am.  What got me to thinking about this?  I got to thinking seriously about losing weight after my dating experiences.  You might think that I had trouble getting dates because I am overweight and that I am trying to lose weight to get a new man in my life.  Actually, I never had any trouble getting a date.  Perhaps my personality made up for the weight issue with these guys.  But one of the nice fellows I dated for a while was also overweight.  I liked him quite a bit, and the weight itself was not a big issue for me.  But, I found myself really worrying about his health.  I found myself thinking - don’t let yourself fall in love with this guy - he could die of a heart attack at any moment (I know fit people can too, but there has to be an increased risk for those of us who carry a lot of extra weight).  Then a Eureka moment - the same could be said of me.

I can be really introspective and thought about my weight and my health quite a bit.  I am currently healthy other than a touch of high blood pressure.  I don’t have the other problems many overweight people have:  both of my cholesteral levels are good, blood sugar is good, heart seems OK, no joint problems, etc.  Yes, the truth is- I don’t have the health problems many overwight people have - yet.  And I started to ponder how unfair it is to my kids, future mate, and myself, not to do everything I can to be healthy.

I have certainly learned in the last two years that there are no assurances of happiness in life.  The best most of us can do is try to live the best life we can, be the best people we can be, and try to eke out a bit of happiness in the process.  Am I living the best life I can currently?  No, I’m not.  My weight gets in the way of lots of recreation possibilities.  I love spending time with my kids and would love to be able to do more and to have more energy with which to do it.

So, the journey, my re-birth began yesterday.  I was 308 lbs at my very first visit with Dr. Gawel, and am at 302 today.