One of the things I don’t talk about often is my weight.  My weight was always the, well, if you will pardon the pun, the elephant in the room. It was the one thing in my life I seemed to have no control over. I was successful in other parts of my life, but not this one.  I used to never get on the scale because I honestly didn’t know what I weighed. I figure that I lost about 10-15 lbs before I got on the scale.  My highest recorded weight was 320 and my BMI was > 50.  Weirdly enough, I was always pretty active.  I was never a super couch potato. Now don’t get me wrong, me and a bag of chips spent plenty of time on the sofa. J   I just always stayed pretty busy.   

 

I have a full disclosure policy on my WLS(weight loss surgery) and what I weigh.   WLS  is not the “easy way” out and truthfully it is just a tool to help me lose the weight. Keeping it off is up to me.   I am a year and a half post surgery and with a few exceptions I can eat and drink normally, just in smaller amounts.  I currently weigh about 160 lbs.  My weight ranges from 159-162.  I weigh daily, but not to see if I have lost any weight.  I find it fascinating how the body can gain 2-3 lbs through the day and even more after a really long work out.  It’s a water thing, but I find it really interesting.  The scale no longer rules my world.  It is now just a tool.  It does not make or break my day and it certainly does not indicate myself worth.  

 

So, why would I tell anyone my weight?  Women just don’t do that!!!  Well, maybe they should.  Most men have no idea how much women weigh and lets face it women lie.  I think this leads to the skewed view we have on weight.  I am in a size 8-10 and look pretty good for 44. (yeah, I tell my age too)  Most people think I weight about 10lbs less than I actually do and when they find out my actual weight the comment is always “Wow, you most be mostly muscle.  You know muscle weighs more that fat.”  And for the record- a pound is a pound.  Muscle takes up less space and burns more calories, but a pound of muscle is still a freaking pound.  (ok, off my soapbox)   Usually my response is something along the lines of “ I am actually pretty happy with my weight.  Did I tell you I just ran a half marathon?”   

 

Technically, I am still overweight per the BMI guidelines.  I am 26.3 and 24.9 is considered normal.  BMI does not take into account muscle mass or other information.  When Arnold Schwartzenegger  was Mr. Universe he had a BMI of 30.1, but I doubt anyone called him obese, at least not to his face!   So, I don’t really use BMI as a calculation to live and die on.  

 

All of this brings me to a Health Assessment and Fitness Test that I will do on Sunday at the gym.   They are going to check my body composition- basically, how much is fat and how much is muscle.  I am actually looking forward to this.   I used to be 50% body fat.  My home scale says I am about 23% fat.  21-24% is about normal for women.   I would be thrilled if that were true.   They are also going to check my VO2 Max or my aerobic capacity.  I get to run on the treadmill with a cute little snorkel thing over my nose and mouth.   In addition, they check my flexibility and a few other things.  All of this takes about an hour.  The cool thing is I did this just about a year ago, so I have something to compare it to.  I should see a significant difference.  But what I am REALLY interested in is six months from now.  I should see a difference in muscle composition with all the cross training and weight lifting. So, on Sunday, I should have some interesting information to share.

 

Since this is also a blog about my training, I should tell you I cycled for 9 miles and swam 500 yard yesterday.   I used my flippers for the freestyle part so the swim wasn’t too bad on the legs.  I got to focus on my form and breathing.  It’s getting a little easier.  Not by much, but easier.  One of the great things about being a beginner is that you can only improve. J.   Today is going to be my rest day with my long run- about 6 miles tomorrow and then my health assessment on Sunday along with a core workout.   I hope to get in a 6-8 mile run next week with my running buddy Ranae.  I miss running with her.  It’s hard to solve the world’s problems on a run by yourself

 I am sitting here having chest pain from one to many bites of a scrambled egg.  Learning  the cue for "whoa there the pouch is full" has been a interesting learning experience.  I used to think chest pain meant a cardiac problem, now its just a sign for oops, you went a little far.   I am doing better with it.  I have only had 2 episodes of vomiting, which were quick and painless, because I ate to fast.   Over all I am pleased with my progress.  I am down 16 lbs since surgery and clothes are much looser than before.  I am surprised at how tight my clothes were!  I guess I was just used to it and never noticed.   I feel a bit more "normal" now that I can start eating moist foods.  I have had a really hard time with the protein drinks.  I loved them before surgery, but after surgery, wow, they just taste awful.  I am trying to be a bit of unflavored whey protein, in just about everything I eat.  The smell and the fake tastes are just very off putting.   I did walk this morning.  I know that exercise is going to be an essential part of losing this weight.  I was really enjoying walking before surgery, today it was a bit of a chore.  It was really humid out today, maybe that was part of the problem.  I am going to keep plugging away though, because it not only helps with weight loss, it really helps clear my head and just generally makes me feel better!   Water continues to be difficult.  I was easily getting 64-80 oz of water presurgery, and now I am struggling to get in 30-40 oz of water. Again, going to just keep plugging along!

 18 days to go before surgery......and I am ready for this new chapter in my life to begin!!!  I have changed my way to eating and have been exercising regularly.  I am walking about 2.5 miles about 3 times a week.   I have lost a total of 30 pounds and for the first time in a long time I feel good.  My husband and I were walking to a local bar downtown and I mentioned how great I felt being lighter.  I told him when I lost the next 30-50 lbs he was going to have to tie a string to me, because I just might blow away.  :-}   Its funny how when I gained weight in the past 289 was horrific, but now I am down to 289 I feel great.  Weird huh?   I am so excited that this time in August I could be down 20-30 lbs.    Wow, for the first time I can really imagine it happening.  
  We have a trip to Vegas the week before my surgery, and while I plan to have a really good time, I still plan on working out.  I really want to keep this exercising habit up, until it is a just part of me.   While I never want to wish my days away, I am ready for the 30th to be here!!! 

 So, this time 30 days from now I will be out of surgery and on with the rest of my life!    I am officially scheduled for June 30th.  I haven't had any soda or beer for the past 3 months and I have been walking almost daily.  I am still struggling with remembering to take daily vitamins.  I really want to get that down pat before I have surgery  I have such a hard time remembering to take pills!.  
I managed to walk about 2.5 miles this morning and I really enjoyed myself.   I am so looking forward to working out getting a little easier.  I think my knee pain is going to be gone with out a 50 pounds gone.   
I cant imagine being 50 pounds lighter.  I have already lost 30 pounds on my own and I feel better than I have in a long time.  I am still having issues with fatigue.  I still just get so tired.   I am still 289lbs and I am sure that takes its toll as well.  Beats 320, that for sure!!!!    I have to keep reminding myself how far I have come on my own and help is on the way!

 I had an email waiting on my when I got to work today that said I was approved for my surgery!  I have to get the "official" letter of approval, but it is done, FINALLY!   I should have the offical approval by the end of the week.  I can set up my surgery date with no further issues.
I actually felt pretty good today, inspite of the fact that I did not get much sleep.  I was awake from about 340-500 and I get up at 545 to walk.  I still made my walk and am pretty proud of my self!  I feel so much better during the day time.  Still pretty wiped out at night, but I believe that will improve.  I am so so so so so excited about all of this.  For the first time in a long time I have hope!