Ok, last summer, June 2007, I finally had enough of my weight.  I swore if I ever reached 200lbs I would shot myself.  Well I was way over and had no plans in shotting myself.  I knew I was going down hill and it wasn't going to be a pretty one.  I went to my PCP and ask for diet pills. I took Fen-Phen years ago and it did work the one month I took it. I knew you could not get Fen-Phen anymore, but you could get the Phen part.   After taking it for 2 weeks and still didn't lose a pound.  I tried everything but still was getting worst and even more depressed with myself.  I decided on WLS.  Lap Band to be specific.  I look at Doctors who were close to my location which was Lubbock, which is still 2 hours away.  I got my package from them and something didn't seem right so I freaked out and cancelled my appointment.  I decided I don't need WLS and I can still lose weight on my own.  I still thought (and somewhat think now) WLS is the easy way out.  The biggest hang up I had was that I wanted to hear from a "real" person story about WLS.  Finally I got a customer that said she had the surgery, her sister had the surgery and her mother had the surgery.  It was the best thing they ever did.  I took her excitment about the success of WLS and their surgeons name and decided to go for it.  Their surgeon was in El Paso, which was 4 hours away, but due able.  So I was on my way.......Finally got my approval on 1/12/08, only a 3 day wait and I was told on a Saturday...WOW..  Only requirement left was Educational Seminar and meet the Surgeron.  The day I met with the Surgeon, I changed my mind on which surgery I wanted.  I went from Lap Band to Gastric Bypass.  I had my surgery date 2/4/08 then something happen at the doctors office which had to be delay till 2/11.08.  I hope everything goes well.   I am very nervous b/c I haven't had any major surgery or had to stay in a hospital overnight...

Surgery went fine.  The hospital stay really suck.  I didn't realize how much they don't leave you alone.  I also had a hard time sleeping on my back.  I don't slept on my back ever.  I used the pain medications to sleep more than for pain.  I went in the hospital on a Monday and was out on Thursday.  

I am like everyone else, I went through major "WTF" did I do to myself.  I also hated not eating.  I still hated not eating. 

I did my food stages, but tested my limits often.  They back fired, but I still tried.

I have learned that this surgery is a good thing.  It sucks but it is suppose to suck.  I got everything I ever wanted from the surgery.  I consider myself having surgerical induced anoxeria with a case of bulimia and slowly becoming a vegetarian.  I always wanted not to have to eat, because my mind told me too and my stomach was loud about what my mind said (that is the anoxeria part).  I never like to throw up from eating too much, but I can now (that is the bulimia part) and I always wanted to eat healthier and maybe less meat (that is the vegetarian part, b/c I don't tolerate meat very well).  I know this sounds stupid to everyone else, but I am happy.  I still hate not being able to eat alot, but I know I need to deal with the issue of being addicted to food.

I recently had a stall on losing weight.  I was wondering if the scales was broken.  Even though I wasn't losing, I was happy at least I wasn't gaining.  When i dieted (life style change), I would lose and then gain it back plus a little.  The scales started moving again.  I am not going to hold my breathe on how much, but at least it is going down, slowly is better than nothing or gaining.