I saw my PCP yesterday and talked about some of my health concerns about my blood pressure and he of course agreed and recommended the surgery so I had him sign the paper work I needed to turn in.  

I got to work and made a copy of my insurance card and gather my other documentation sealed it in the envelope and MAILED it.  This is the furthest I've ever gone with this and I feel so good about it. 

I had a talk with my supervisor who is very sweet and supportive and made sure there would be no issues with some of the time this was going to take me from work and she was very supportive.  

My mom finally agreed to support me in this decision as well and said she would stay with me for a while as I recover.  

I have a long road ahead but the journey is just started and I feel positive and content about my decision for WLS. 

I am 28 years old well actually I will be on Monday (03/26) and I’m at that time in my life I am needing to make a lot of life decisions in order for my to move on to my 30’s in the place I want to be. Other then my weight I’ve been struggling in my life with my relationships and who I am and who I want to be. There seems to be a lot going on for me right now. Possibly this decision to make this journey right now could be to distract me from making other decisions. But I feel if I don’t do this now I may never do it and I really want to take care of my health. I’m sick of the way people treat me because of my weight. I’m sick of the way I feel both mentally and physically. I’m sick of the looks my family gives me when I do visit them. I’m sick of avoiding people who I haven’t seen in years because of my weight gain. I’m sick of it all. I’m sick of the denial I’ve been in. I think the weight gets in the way of me being who I really want to be.

I’m 5’7 and ashamed to say 311 lbs. I’m really starting to be affected by the health problems being this weight have given me. I have very sore knees and back. I have sleep apnea. I need to be treated with blood pressure and cholesterol medication. I lose my breath just walking from the parking lot to my desk at work. I hate going places with people because I sweat like crazy and it’s embarrassing. But the thought of giving up some of my favorite foods and the comfort I get from these is very overwhelming. At least in the past it has been. Right now I feel I can do this. I feel strong enough to get through the emotional part that this surgery will bring and enjoy the positive rewards of losing weight will bring to my life.

Right now I am going through a emotional time with my husband. We have been married for the past 7 years. This summer I’m not sure what happened but I guess I realized I wasn’t happy.  I guess as sad as it might be that when I met my husband when I was 18 years old I thought I had to do what ever it took to keep him because I didn’t think anyone would ever be attracted to me. I don’t know that I ever loved him. I guess I do and did but in a different way. He is my best friend. He is this sweet guy and is good to me. I just feel something is missing. I’m not sure if its something within me or just with us. We are now separated at my choice. He wants me back very badly. Part of me wants to come back and have the security and comfort he gives me. But I know if I do I don’t think it would be for the right reasons and I don’t think it would last. Having this surgery scares me to a point how is it going to affect our relationship? Will I learn to love myself more and then possible allow myself to be loved again by my husband? OR will I gain this confidence in myself and really learn that I don’t love my husband and find comfort in the attention I receive from other men? It’s a scary situation that I really need to be aware that I will face.

I started looking into the WLS about 4 years ago. It scared me to think I would let someone inside my body cut my stomach off from my body and creates a “man” made stomach. Should I really be messing with what God gave me??? What happens say 50 years from now to those staples in my stomach will it hold me together for the rest of my life? At the time I just though my stomach would be sitting in my body “dead” then it was explained that the stomach is still much alive and is hooked up in my intestines still but in a different way. It will never see food but it will still do some of the functions it use to.