Hi everyone,
I'm trying for this not to be a pity party blog entry but it may turn out to be one.  I feel very depressed at the moment.  I've accomplished some great things since my surgery but August has not be a good month weight loss wise for me.  My problem is that my appetite is back.  I cannot eat a lot in one sitting but only after about two hours I'm hungry again.  I've been trying to stick to 1000 cals or under per day, I almost always make my protein goal of 90, I do struggle with getting all my fluids in though.  I just wish I had someone to say, okay, eat ____ cals a day and drink ____ water a day and you will lose weight.  I don't know how many cals I should be consuming.  One day I worry I'm eating too much, the next I worry I'm not eating enough.
Fear has crept its way back into my life.  I will be 5 months out tomorrow and I am scared to death that I'm not going to lose anything else.  I know that most of the weight is lost in the first 6 months and I'm nearing that very soon.  I worry that I am going to completely fall off of my exercise routine.  I am bored with it and frankly, I don't like doing it.  I crave comfort foods.  I don't eat them.  Okay, maybe a bite of something but that's it. 
I just feel like this is/was my one chance in my life to change myself for the better.  This is the one chance and I'm going to blow it.  I've always blown it before and I feel the negativity creeping up on me.  I know if I get on the scale and see I lost weight I'll become happy again and my fears will subside temporarily.  However, on 8/25 I was 286 and today I was 290.  I don't want to be finished.  I don't want this to be the end.  I am at a weight where most people decide to have surgery!  I see people all over that are already in a size 16 and I am still wearing 28 or 26. 
This road is a long road.  Can I really keep it together or will I end up a failure?  I can hear people talking now, "oh, did you hear about Kim? Yeah, she gained all her weight back plus some".  Dear God, Help Me!

Well all, I'm going to see one of the greatest musicians of all time tonight...Sir Paul McCartney and I am SOOOOOO excited.  One, I'm excited because the Beatles are my all time favorite group and two, because at 397 I would have never been able to go see a concert!  Thank god, I have lost over 100 pounds and can now start enjoying the life I was meant to live.  I can't wait!  I'm like a kid waiting for Santa!            

Finally I'm under 300 and have lost 100 pounds.  2 goals in one week.....I can barely stand it.  Yes, I love my new life and would do it all over again and again.  Thank you all for your kindness, encouragement, support and all the other things you offer to those such as I.  I couldn't have done it without all of you.  LOVE you people!!!!