So, any of you that know me may know I've been struggling for about a month with wondering about my cals, fat, carbs, why the scale kept going up and down, if I was done losing, what I was doing wrong,etc.
As of today (didn't weigh yesterday) I lost 6 pounds and have past my halfway marker to goal!!!!!  I feel so excited and blessed today.  I can't put into words what a feeling it is to have my "lost" number bigger then my "pounds to go" number.  121 lost total (30 pre opt) and 111 to go to goal.
This journey is not easy. Yes, it's frustrating, sometimes discouraging, depressing, etc. but on days like today it's enlightening, encouraging and is inspiring me to keep going, press on and continue until I see this through.
Thank you God, first and foremost, second to my partner who has been there for me through all kinds of trials and tribulations and all my OH friends especially Tammy, CC and Channel who have really helped to lift me up in times of stress.
Love you guys!!!!  Thank you so much for everything!!!  This story isn't over yet....  

Wait, what?  Did someone just say that to me that isn't close family?  OMG, yes they did!  So, I went to my pain management specialist today and as I was at the front desk the clerk said, "Wow, Kim, you are really looking good!"  That made me feel good.  It seems people other then family are noticing now.  Then the nurse calls me back, takes a look at me and says, "your face is getting so skinny!"  I was like, OMG, that's awesome!  They all know I had the surgery because I mainly did it due to my back pain, but you think that they won't remember you or that they see so many people how could they possibly remember what I looked like.  Well, I can tell you now that I have never, ever had anyone refer to anything on me as skinny (unless it was a close family member or my partner telling me how much I have changed).  This was a really nice compliment and a huge morale boost.
Another thing to add...I used to go to doctor's offices and when they wanted to weigh me I'd have to ask, "how high does your scale go?"  At 397, not a lot of scales, even doctors scales, would weigh me.  Now, I jump right on the scale (no fear) and I always ask,"what did I weigh last time I was here?"  It's such a thrill to go to the doctors and actually weigh LESS then the last time I was there.  That NEVER, EVER used to happen.  So yesterday at my PCP I asked the question.  The last time I was there I was 338 and I weighed in at 284.  Today, at my pain mgmt doc, I weighed in at 282 and the last time I was there I was 300.  It feels really great hearing those numbers.
It's so hard to make the connection that I'm smaller. Yeah, my clothes are smaller.  Yeah, I get a good amount of compliments from family and friends.  But sometimes unless I see a picture of myself side by side with my former self it's so hard to see it.  Still trying to figure this part of the journey out.  I still have a long way to go but these size 26 jeans feel so good...I even have one pair that my partner said, you can't wear those anymore, they're too big.  Amazing.
When I graduated HS I wore 26 jeans.  When I met my partner (when I was 21) I wore 28 jeans.  Now 26 is getting big?  Crazy!  Someone help me screw my head back on because right now, it's blown away!