I've become one of "those"....those who don't update thier profiles nearly often enough.  I didn't think it would happen quite so quickly! I hate that, because this site and all of you who have given me so much encouragement!  I will try to do better. 

Wow, it seems like so much has happened in the last couple of months, but for the life of me, I can't pinpoint down exactly what all has happened?!!  Did the last two months really even happen?  It seems to be going by SO fast!  I am now down 125 (!) lbs.  Holy cow, I lost a skinny person!  I am two days over being five months out, and physically, I feel better than I have in YEARS!  I feel like the happiest still fat girl in the world!

I am finally starting to fit into some of my older clothes, which are really nice.  Let me tell you, though, what can bring a losing weight but still very plump girl to her knees...losing 125 lbs and ONLY JUST NOW getting into a size 28.  Yup, that's a big suckaroo...granted, it's not a 36 or 5x or whatever I was before, but still.  Really?!?!  A 28??  Come on, body, you can do better than this!  At least I have some cuter clothes now, that I have unearthed from all the hoarding I have done over the years (see, now I can REALLY tell my husband that I am going to lose weight to get back in those clothes, and MEAN it!! ). 

Here's another downer...I still have AT LEAST another 175 to go.  At the very least.  Wowza.   In reality, I am still 2 overweight women...but at least I am not two overweight women and a skinny woman any longer!  Right!?  I hope to be at 150 lost by my 6 month surgiversary.   I'm gonna have to start really working on getting in exercise.  Which brings me to excercise?

Why do I freaking hate to excercise?  Like, I think about it, and I'm all "Oh, yeah, if I did this and this, and then this, then I am going to tone up and look like this..." and you know what really happens?  I come home and sit on the couch.   I want to want to excercise (yes, I meant for it to read like that!), but for some reason, I think I have some weirdo mental block against it.  MUST.GET.PAST.THIS.   The hubbers and I are going to go to Puerto Rico in March, so I need to start working on some of this flab-o-rama.   Pronto.

I am no longer as uncomfortable everywhere I go anymore.  Tonight, we went out to dinner, and I sat in a booth.   I wanted to freaking die when I saw that there were only booths left in the restaurant, because I just KNEW that I wouldn't fit.  I did.  Now, obviously, at 377 lbs, I am still large and in charge.  But tonight, I fit, and I fit easily.  That's the first of many "fits".  

So, let's sum this puppy up.   Good News:  Down 125 lbs, finally in old clothes, feel great.   Bad News:  Honestly, really not any. I made a great decision.  I got my life back. 

For the last three weeks, I have had horrible congestion in my chest, so finally, today I caved in and went to the Dr to get some medicine.  Four short months ago, I wouldn't let the nurse weigh me before I saw my Dr (he is SUCH a great guy...he's been so supportive of me through this whole ordeal).  Since I don't have a scale that goes above 350 lbs, I can't weigh myself at home yet, and honestly, I think it's been really good for me (especially with all my past demons!) to just go off of how much better I am feeling. Have I mentioned before that I feel better??  Because if I haven't....OMG, I feel SO much better!!!!  :)



Anyway, I digress...I go to the office this afternoon, and step up on the scale...and I am down 93 lbs!!


I have lost 93 lbs in 3 months and 10 days!!!



What a great feeling!!!  I think sometimes knowledge does give you a boost.  I knew that I had lost more weight, although my clothes are STILL fitting...hopefully within the next 30-40 I will start to get into some smaller sizes.

I honestly can't wait to get into smaller sizes.  I got a box of clothes from my friend Ami (thank you, dear!!  loves!!) that I am eyeing every single day. 

I go to my three month (although it's REALLY going to be right at almost four months) appointment on October 12.  I would like to hit the century mark by then, so it's time to get this rear moving!

and by good, I mean 1,000x better than I did walking into my RNY surgery a little over three months ago.  I can get up and down easily out of seats, I don't have to push the steering wheel as far away as it will go in my car, my knee doesn't constantly feel like its going to give out, I can stand for extended periods of time without my lower back hurting, and, I DON'T WADDLE AS MUCH WHEN I WALK....

To be perfectly honest, I don't know how much I've lost.  On the 24th of August, I was down 67 lbs, so it's been a whole month since I've weighed.  Clothes wise, well, I am still in the same damn clothes that I wore before I had surgery, and it's freaking infuriating.  I mean, really, who loses 70+ lbs and still wears the same clothes?  Do they fit better?  Of course they do.  But, they still fit.  They are not baggy and falling off.  I was expressing this frustration at work to my supervisor, and her response was "It's probably because they didn't really fit before, you just made them fit"...which is true.  But I want them to fall off.  I want to lose my pants in the middle of a grocery store.  I keep trying to tell myself "it's gonna happen" but it's not happening yet!!!  GRRRR!!!!!

I really need to start excercising.    I know that just doing daily activities (like actually walking to work from my parking spot as opposed to the meters I was paying $4 a day to park at) have increased my physical activity from what it was (read: what it wasn't), but I really need to get after it.  Back in HS and college, I was really athletic, but I have always hated actually working out.  I think its just something I am going to have to make myself do, and just come to grips with the fact that I don't like it!!  I don't want to fly away with my batwings, or to have one of my children disappear into a skin fold...so I guess excercise it needs to be.

I still have so far to go...Like I still need to lose an overweight person.  I have come a long way, and I am very proud of how far I have come.  I am going to go start seeing a psychologist, because I think that I have of my bat shit crazy issues with food to work out.  I still think about food all the time, and I don't want to focus on it.  I am not getting in enough protein, and most days I don't get in enough water, either.  I need to work on these, to take care of myself.  But, I am going to go and see the psychologist, and I am going to do my best to really open up (as opposed to telling her what I know she wants to hear...I can talk my way around and out of almost anything, which is both a blessing, and a curse!!)  so that I can get my mind to a healthy place with food.

OH, I also started a new decade...I am officially old...two weeks ago I turned the big 3-0....so here's to hoping that this next decade is spent living!!