My weight this morning was 213!!! I have lost 6 lbs this week. I never expected this sucess. I feel like I'm just ready to let the weight go...For the last 10 months since I stopped nursing my babies I have been totally ignoring my health. I paid close attention to my health while TTC, pregancy and nursing. When I didn't need to do that anymore, it was a disaster for me. Not only had I been eating a lot more for nursing and was used to it, but I added in unhealthy foods I had been denying myself. I had got in the habit of having a glass of wine, sometimes two every evening after all the kids were in bed. Empty calories!!! I ate more sweets and more carby slider foods that  give little to my body for nutrition but pack in the calories! Old school stove top popped popcorn with lots of real butter & salt, Cheesit crackers, peanut butter crackers...I could go on. No wonder I gained! Full disclosure: at my highest I was almost as much as I was full term pregnant with twins.

Obesity, you won't get me again! I won't listen to your lies. I won't dispair about the 40 lbs I gained while sticking my head in the sand. I'm going to keep following my reasonable healthy lifestyle and doing this will kick your butt. It may take a long time, but I'm gonna do it.

I met most of my goals this week. I had one bad day and I'll have to watch that. I'm really proud of myself that I got right back at it the next day. I need to plan ahead for super busy and stressful days so I don't fall on my face again. It's not so much about what I ate and the walk I didn't take...it's the feeling I got while doing it. An out of control feeling!

Goals for this week: Excercise 30 minutes 5x
                                     Water Minimum of 64 oz
                                      Food: Three nutricious meals
                                                  If I need a snack, snack mindfully w/concentration on protein

Other goals: Be present in everything that I do, work hard, love on my husband and babies, don't listen to obesity 

I used to post once a week during my weight loss journey. I just went through all my posts and relived everything I went through. Now that I have regain, I want to journal about this as well. It is really helpful for my accountability. My weight this morning was 219. My lowest weight was around 160. I don't want to get down that far because my face looked skeletal. I just want to get down to a reasonable healthy weight. I feel best from 170-175. Today I commit to a maintenance lifestyle. I feel if I go too crazy it will be very difficult for me to stick to. Here are my goals:

1. Walk 30 minutes 5xweek
2. Drink 64 oz of water/crystal lite
3. No snacking, especially drinks with calories
4. Eat enough protein and avoid slider foods.

I commit to this lifestyle from today until the end of the year. I may decide to go all out then, but right now I need to get back on track. I never, ever want to diet again!!!!! I believe with these changes I should be able to slowly take off the weight. I hope for a one pound per week loss.

Weight today 219 Before weight 283 Goal weight 170 49 lbs to go

I can't believe how long it's been since I've been on here! Soooo many things have happened. The last time I posted it appeared that I had an ulcer. It turned out to be a twisted small bowel. I had a couple of very dangerous gastric bleeds and the doctors tried and tried to find out what it was. Finally, the pain and sickness were too much & I landed in the ER again in February 2009. They found my small bowel was caught in an internal hernia. I was rushed down to the hospital 1 1/2 hours away in an ambulance and had emergency surgery. I have been 100% better since! The blood I lost caused me to become severely anemic I had to undergo six iron infusion treatments to get my anemia under control.

The little cousin I had living with us ultimatly went home. We then pursued foster adoption. We had a couple of disappointments and ended up having IVF which resulted in twins. The month I got pregnant with the twins, My little cousin's niece and nephew came to live with us. They are now our adopted children. So now I have five sons 25, 22, 20, 4, and 18 months and two daughters 3 and 18 months. 

I had to "eat around" my RNY gastric bypass in order to sustain my twin pregnancy and nursing. I stopped nursing in October of 2011 and have not gone back to my previous lifestyle. The result is weight gain. I am now 217 lbs! The day I had my IVF transfer I was 177 lbs...three weeks after having the twins I was 182. This weight is NOT baby weight. It's weight gain from snacking, not excercising, not enough water, and drinking my calories. 

From this day forward I take back my life. I will not go back....four precious children are counting on me!   

I havn't posted in awhile. It is amazing how fast time goes by. My ulcer didn't feel 100% until the middle of August! And my hair, which was finally coming back in nicely is falling out again from the shock. Please, anyone reading this...don't drink too much caffeine or take aspirin. It is not worth it! Even drinking water hurt when I had my ulcer. So, I got out of the habit of drinking 64 oz. So guess what? I ended up with a UTI and my doctor said I had a huge amount of crystals in my urine (tiny kidney stones). He said to knock off the chocolate and up my water intake or I could get big kidney stones. This I do NOT want. I've watched my neice over the last few years suffer with kidney stones. 

So I guess the moral of the story is...make sure to follow the rules. They are there for a reason. You will feel so much better if you toe the line. 

Weight wise, I'm doing good. If I go up a couple of pounds, I go back to protein, fruit and veggies for awhile & it comes right back off. I'm at 170 today and am trying to get back to 165 over the next week or two. My size 8 pants are a tiny bit snug and I don't like that...so I'm dealing with it now. The difference is I deal with things right away instead of sticking my head in the sand until it gets away from me.