kellybell

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OMG. It's 5 am and I can't sleep. I have been so sick all night. I think I might have a stomach virus or something. I don't think it's anything I've eaten, cuz I was feeling so sick yesterday that all I had the whole day was a protein shake for breakfast. I couldn't force myself to eat anything else the whole day. 

I'm supposed to get my first fill today at my appointment, but I'm afraid they're not going to do it if I'm sick or something. I just won't go into GREAT detail about how yucky I've been feeling, cuz I really want the fill. I would NEVER lie  about anything medical, because that could put me at risk for a serious complication, and I just don't have the time, energy, paitence, or money to deal with that. 

I'm thinking I've lost a total of 26 to 28 lbs. My scale was really messed up, so I had to get a new one, and now I'm not sure of excatally where my weight is. I like the new one, but I am REALLY excited about getting weighed at my appointment today. If I have lost less than 26 lbs, I'm gonna be pretty sad. But at least I'll know where I stand then.

I'm gonna try to go back to sleep for an hour or so before my dr appt. I don't know why I would bother, because I haven't been able to sleep all night. ugg

I am sooo bad. I am out of control. I feel like I've eaten all day.  I had (all 4-6 oz portions) low sugar oatmeal, tuna with ranch dressing (2 different times today) cottage cheese, 2 bites of baked chicken (well chewed), and the worst part-- I ate chunks of cheese with tortilla chips! OMG what the hell was I thinking?!?! That could have hurt soooo bad. I did make sure the chips were totally liquid before I swallowed them, but still! I am so stupid. I feel like a beached whale. Really. I feel gross. Not sick at all, but I feel like I used to feel BEFORE my surgery. Even though the amount of food I ate today was prolly less than I would have eaten in one meal pre-op, I still feel like this was a huge step backward (mentally) for me. 

I'm really mad at myself, especially when you also consider that I had a Carmel Frappuchio yesterday. Ok, so it was the smallest one, and I only drank 1/2 of it, but still. I also used a straw, and yes, I did get gas, as gross as that is.

I need to go back to work. When I sit at home all day, all I think about is food. Normally, we would go out, or play outside or go to the park, but my son is sick, so we haven't been doing anything. 

We're going to see his dad tommorow, so at least we'll be out of the house, and then I'm going out with the girls Friday night. I'm really excited. I don't know what I'll be wearing yet. i've lost enought that my stuff is getting loose, but not enough that I fit in smaller stuff, so it'll be fun finding something to wear. 

I gotta get  myself back on the right track. I will NOT fail. I think I need a fill. I have an appointment on the 27th. I hope I can make it until then without eating everything in the fridge.

i have been in a lot of pain the past couple days. I don't exactally know what it's from, but it HURTS. On my left side, above my belly button--feels like someone is stabbing me every few mintues. I'm kinda irritated with my dr office. I called on thursday to ask about it and they transfered me to someone and she was out, so I left a message. She didn't call back. So I called again friday morning, and still no answer. Another message. Called again Friday afternoon, and still no answer, yet ANOTHER message.

But the pain is letting up now. Thank goodness. I was getting worried that there was something really wrong in there. I couldn't even swallow water for a while without getting a bad feeling in my throat and tummy. But it's over now!

I'm taking my son to see his dad tommorrow. I try not to smile when I think about seeing him, but I can't help it. I hope I don't end up falling for him again. He is no good for me. But he's starting to be a great dad, and I think THAT is what I'm liking about him. No one can ever love a child as much as his parents will, and I think that is what is making me think twice about him again. But I know it's a useless point, because no matter what a great dad he may be, he's not right for me. OK---move on GIRL!

GIRLS NIGHT OUT NEXT WEEKEND! Beer Sellar or Jefferson Hall? Or maybe B-List! I can't wait!

O M G.

I just looked on the health insurance website to see if the totals for the surgery came up. 

boy, did they....

Patient

Details

Status

Billed Amount

Applied to Deductible

Paid by Plan

Patient Responsibility

Already Paid

Kelly

Date of Service: 08/20/2007  Thomas Sonnanstine    More Details

In Process

$5,000.00

Kelly

Date of Service: 08/16/2007                        to  08/21/2007  Thoma Sonnanstine    More Details

In Process

$20,132.98

Kelly

Date of Service: 08/16/2007  T Sonnanstine  Medical  More Details

Processed 08/25/2007

$155.00

$0.00

$75.55

$30.00

Paid at Visit    $30.00

Totals for all claims in results

$25,287.98

$0.00

$75.55

$30.00

$30.00

WOW oh WOW. Boy did I get my money's worth out of my health insurance this year. Actually, I did last year too, with the birth/pregnancy of my son, it was over $30,000. Yikes. I'm glad I have insurance.

Ok, so I made it to the 2 week mark. In a few months I'm gonna look back at this entry and laugh about how much of a sissy I was being.

So, I've lost a total of 15 lbs since surgery (18 lbs total from pre-op) and I am super super excited.

Dr. Tom said I am doing great for a band paitent and I am ahead of schedule on my weightloss, which is awesome, since I have so much weight to lose.

Ok, gonna go play with my son, and eat something. I haven't eaten since 11:30 this morning. Bad Kelly!