kellybell

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so, things are going ok i guess. I switched dosages on my medicine and i'm not sure if that's what's doing it, or if it's my fill. I have no desire to eat whatsoever. Just the though of eating makes me ill. It's weird.  I've never felt like this before except for right after my surgery. It's got me feeling pretty tired since I'm not eating much. I forced myself to eat a hard boiled egg (for protein) last night and a turkey hot dog (no bun) today for lunch. other than that I think I've had a slice of cheese and 4 bites of chili spagetti, and one bite of a banana that my son shoved in my mouth, but that's it in the last 2 days.

It puts me in a weird position, because my grandpa is in the hospital, and we are having a lot of trouble getting him to eat. We are all trying to practically force him, and now I can see the flip side of that coin. I don't wanna eat either, no matter how much someone yells at me :-) poor guy. I can't wait till he comes home. Our family just isn't right without him.

Ok, we're going to go visit him at HealthSouth in Edgewood, and we need to leave now!

:-)

I went to the gym today. WOW, I forgot how good it makes me feel to work out. I love to push my self, and sweat and feel my muscles burning. It was great.

Here was my routine...
Free weights- 10 lbs- 3 sets of 10 reps on two different motions

Machines. Chest press (keep those boobs lifted up! LOL) one set of
                    20 reps

                    Triceps 3 sets of ten reps at 38 lbs

                    Triceps and shoulders one set 30 reps

                    Leg press. 86 lbs. 3 sets of 10 reps with a 10 second squat 
                    in between each set. My legs were BURNING after this.

                    Elipitcal machine (NSV->) FIFTEEN MINTUES!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am 
                    SOOOOOOOOOOOOO proud of myself for this!!!! Nearly 60
                    lbs ago, I could have NEVER EVER EVER EVER done this. I 
                    had "worked my way up" to ALMOST 8 minutes the last time,
                    but I was DYING by that time! I did so great! I'm so happy.

                    Last but not least, I took it easy and walked an easy 2.0 on 
                    the treadmill while reading a magazine. I only ended up 
                    getting to walk for 11 minutes before the nursery people 
                    came to get me becasue the kids were crying their eyes out

I had planned on walking a slow 15 mins and kicking it up (incline and speed) for 10 minutes, and slowing it back down and walking backwards (really helps your thighs-which i need really bad!) for 5 mins and then doing 10 more slow mins. I ususally push myself harder on the treadmill becasue I can't push myself on the Eliptical, but since I did it this time, I used the treadmill as my cool down. So all in all, I got a good hour and 20 mintues of work out. That's pretty damn good for the girl who was eating about a 1/2 a cup of ice cream everyday last week. These fills are always good motivatiors for me!! Hopefully I stick with this workout program.

Next time I work out I'm going to try a new method I've heard about. They're saying it's really getting good results. You walk for 2 mins, Run for 30 seconds, and "jog" for 1 min. You keep repeating this cycle for as long as you would normally work out. I would do this only on the Elip, as I do NOT have the balance or the KNEES to run on an actual treadmill. I really hope someday I'll be able to run without my boobs smacking me in the face and my tummy doing tidal waves!!!!! Now THAT will be a NSV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, so I went to see Dr S yesterday and I've lost 7 lbs since my last visit! That's not too bad. So I'm up to a total of 55.8 lbs. I'm REALLY hoping to be at 75 lbs by my 1 year anniversary. So that averages out to about 4.8 lbs a week! WOW. That's a tall order, but I would be soooo proud of myself if I did!! I'm really gonna try hard to do this. I've been eating soo bad recently because of the problems I was having with the band. I surely have not gotten over my emotional eating issues, so that's something that I'm really gonna need to work on.

I did get a tiny fill. POINT 1 cc's. So I'm at 3.4 cc's now. I am kinda worried that i got a little too much, but we'll see. It ususally takes a few weeks for the fill to settle in for me, so i maybe in hell by next weekend.

Question to anyone who reads this--- After you got your fills, did you always follow the liquid diet transition that they tell you to do after a fill?
 
I am really really bad about that. The first 2 days are total lquids, then one day of soft solids and then back to regular foods. Well yesterday was day 1 of the transition. I TOTALLY forgot I that I was getting this fill and agreed to have dinner with my family and my grandmother who is in town from Florida. I ordered french onion soup, and I ate the melted cheese off the top, and two of my son's french fries. I also ate about a 1/4 cup of ice cream. I did get my liquids in pretty well though, and I didn't end up with a headache yet. Today so far I've been drinking orange juice, and I had a few bites of my son's fruit salad that I made him for breakfast. I picked out the watermelon cuz I knew it would be the easiest on my tummy. I barely ate one piece of it, and I felt guilty. So I'm gonna try to be good today, but you can only drink so much slim fast and chicken broth. Ugg. Hopefully this will be my last fill and I won't have to do this anymore.

I do have to get a UpperGI for my one year checkup. YUCK. Last time it SUCKED. That barium is NASTY shit. Grooooss. The part I'm worried about is when they make you drink it while they're doing the live x,ray. You have to drink kinda fast, and I really can't do that at all. But I'm sure it'll be totally fine. And I have to get all my vitamin levels checked, which I know are going to be looooow cuz I haven't been taking my vitamins.

I ALSO NEED TO START EXCERCISING. I'm doing badddd. I'm just so busy. I need to make time for this though. If I do, I might make it to the 75 lb mark!

Wish me luck!!!

Ok, not really a real post, but I'm too tired so I'm just pastiing an email I wrote to Mimi! She's been a wonderful help to me!!!! So here's the "upate"

 I was seriously considering getting a tiny UNfill, but I sat and thought about it and took your advice. Eat  slow. Chew... Chew... Chew... I haven't thrown up in 3 days, and I've lost 2 of the lbs I had gained on vacation!!!!!!

I honestly didn't even think that it was ME... I was blaming it all on the band. I'm really having to look at my eating habits again, and realise that I CANNOT eat another bite when I'm full, no matter how much I want to. And if I do, I WILL get sick, and I WILL be in pain. And that's the bottom line.

Soooo, I think I'm actually going to get a TINY TINY fill next week when I see Dr Tom.  I think I was afraid to give up that last tiny part of me that wants to stay eating bad and eating as much as I want... so BYE-BYE to that side of myself. I thought she'd already gone, but she was hiding deep down in there. , I"ve spotted her, and i'm gonna BEAT her into submission! LOL

I'm ten months out with my surgery, and I've lost 54 lbs. I was really hoping to be at 75 lbs gone by my 1 yr, but I dont' think I'm gonna make it. I've been having a lot of trouble recently with getting sick, and also with eatin terrible terrible foods. 

I know it seems like they go hand in hand, but actually it's opposite. I haven't been able to eat normal foods, getting sick every single time... 5 or 6 times a day, so I've been eating stuff like ice cream!!!  Ice cream is so much easier to eat, swallow, and have it go down smooth. No worry about puking it up in five seconds.... UGGG I HATE it. I haven' gained any weight, but I haven't lost either, and I have and appt in two weeks that I would really like to be a little bit skinnier for.

Maybe I should ask Dr S for a TINY TINY UNfill. I have 3.1 cc now, and I think it was that last .1 cc that put me over the edge...

I'll give it a few more days and see how things go.

NITE