Well I am starting to get a little nervous today. As I put the girls to bed, I got really emotional. Tomorrow night they will spend the night at a friend's house b/c I have to be at the hospital at 5:30 a.m. Anyway, this site has been so beneficial to me. The support here is amazing. I am trying to focus on this summer when we are all on the beach and I am having the time of my life. (Rather than worrying about being covered up.) I also look forward to vacations, etc... and feeling good about myself and my body. Losing weight is the only thing that I feel like I've never been able to do successfully. I look forward to being successful with it too!

I'm now down 12 pounds. I went to my pcp and got my surgical clearance. Now I'm all good to go. My blood pressure was normal and my cholesterol was in the "higher normal range". I went to Talbots and bought khaki pants in size 18, 16, and 14. I bought 2 pairs of each size. They were $7.00 each! Can't beat that since I wear khakis almost everyday to school. I am ready to get this over with. I tried muscle milk pudding today and it was gross! I hated it. It was thick and had a TERRIBLE after taste! Not something I'll be able to eat at all. YUCK!

Well I am on day 7 of my liquid diet. I haven't cheated once -- not even a lick!!! I am really proud of myself. I never thought I could do this. Wow! I have lost 10 pounds so far and look forward to the scale every morning. I love getting on the scale to see what # will show up. Well my surgery is one week from tomorrow and I am strangely calm. I try not to think about the actual procedure b/c I think I'll get too scared. So I try to focus on the after part. I am thinking a lot about the foods that I will be eating, etc ... I have my prescriptions filled for afterwards and am ready to get this over with and be on the LOSING side. Until later ... Kelly

On October 16, I received a call from the RN at United Healthcare handling my case. She said I had been approved! HURRAY! The surgeon's office scheduled me for 11/12 at my request. That is Veteren's Day and the following week is Thanksgiving. That makes me miss 3 less days of school. Hopefully I can wait that long. I have to start my liquid diet two weeks prior, so on Oct. 30th, I'll be cranky!!!!!!

Last Thursday I went and had my chest x-ray and gall bladder ultrasound. I also went and did the psych orientation. It was a busy day. Luckily I had the day off for the Jewish holiday. On Friday afternoon I had my psych consult. I have never been to a psychologist and I really enjoyed it. Dr. Alexander was wonderful. She was really funny and easy to talk to. We pretty much figured out that my failures in eating healthy and exercising are because I don't plan ahead. So today I went grocery shopping with a list of meals for the week planned out. I am going to really try to do this planning. On another note, I have the cardiologist appt. on Wednesday afternoon. I have the endoscopy on October 16. The only other pre-op thing I need to do is the bloodwork. I can do the bloodwork and day after school since the lab is open til 4. My PCP called and said that my ultrasound and x-ray were totally normal. I finally talked to the UHC nurse that is handling my case. She informed me that I must complete 8 sessions of the healthyroads program. She told me that they'd contact me in about 5 days. I wasn't willing to wait. I asked her for the phone number and called myself. I managed to set up my first appt. for Tuesday evening at 6. They wanted to give me my first appt. for Oct 3. I was told to ask them to fast track my program and hopefully it will take half the time. I have to have everything finished by Nov. 1. I'm not really sure what the timing will end up being, but I do know that I MUST get this done b4 Jan 1. or I will have to start all over again with the new insurance company. I really don't want to do that. My mom is coming this weekend for my daughter's birthday. I will have to tell her about my plans this weekend. I am nervous about her reaction b/c it is important to me to have her support. I need to write a will and letters to my daughters in case something happens to me. I hate to think about this, but I would be so sad if something did happen to me and I hadn't left my feelings in writing for my babies. I sometimes start to doubt what I am doing. I do know that I am at one of the VERY best facitilities and the VERY best doctor will be doing my operation. That does give me comfort. I am not scared of the pain b/c I have had 2 c-sections and did fine with those. Will post again after Tues. when I have my first session with Healthyroads. All that is left to do: 1. bloodwork 2. cardiologist 3. endoscopy 4. healthyroads 8 sessions! I'm getting there! 9/16/07