It's amazing to me how things have been SO difficult since my surgery.  I don't regret it, but I've had so many complications!

After my stay in the hospital with pneumonia, I ended up back in the hospital with an abcess the size of a cantelope next to my spleen.  My surgeon was so very wonderful in taking care of me, but he doesn't think it is a complication due to surgery.  He thinks it's due to the pneumonia.

Anyway, that's all over now and I'm finally starting to feel better. I've lost a total of 51 pounds and I'm starting to notice the difference.  I've been getting compliments from my family and friends and it feels GREAT!  I haven't even had my first fill yet!  It's incredible.

My surgery went really well.  I've been able to eat and drink just fine without any complications and I'm not hungry at all.  If I do ever feel a bit hungry, a small drink of water takes care of it and I'm good for several hours.

The only bad thing that has happened is that I ended up with fluid in my lung and pneumonia about 2 weeks following my surgery.  I kept having terrible pain in my back and my shoulder and I was having a lot of trouble breathing.  The surgeon's nurse just figured it was due to the surgery and didn't pay much attention.  WELL...it ended up having nothing to do with the surgery and I spent a week in the hospital draining fluid from my lung and getting pumped full of antibiotics.  I NEVER want to go to the hospital again.  In all truth, this month has been HELL.

I'm still recovering from the pneumonia, and my Dr. says it may take several months until I'm back to my old self.  I have so little energy and feel so weak most of the time so it's frustrating.  But, I'm glad to be on the road to recovery.

On the positive side, I've lost 40 lbs already and I can tell!  Even my husband can tell I've lost.  I'm glad to know it's working.  Everyone keeps telling me that a year from now this will all be a distant memory and I'll be grateful I had the surgery.  The pneumonia was just bad luck.

Anyway, that's it for now!

Well, it's finally here!  I've waited and waited for so long, I didn't think May 31st would EVER arrive!  I've felt just about every emotion under the sun, and right now...I just simply want to have the surgery and move ON!  

I'll let you know how things progress.  Until then, next time you hear from me, I'll be lighter and on the way to losing it ALL!  YAY!

Okay....I admit it....I'm SCARED!  Suddenly all the excitement and thrill of the whole idea of surgery has dissapeared and I'm left with this overwhelming feeling of doom.  I'm absolutely terrified! 

I've been having 2nd....3rd.....even 4th thoughts about the whole procedure and I can feel I'm working myself up into a frenzy.  I just don't understand how I could have been so excited, and now I'm so frightened. 

I think part of my problem is that my husband isn't able to come to the hospital with me anymore.  He's ended up having to work unfortunately, so I'll be on my own.  I would have my mom come with me, but she will be with my kids.  I guess I just have to suck it up and be brave.

*sigh* hopefully my next post will be post-op and I'll be thrilled I went ahead and did this!  Until then....

Today is Monday the 14th and it's unbelieveable to me that I'll be in surgery in just over two weeks.  The whole thought is rather overwhelming and kinda scary, but I'm so grateful I can do this!  

The money we are using to pay for my surgery hasn't arrived yet (grrrr).  However...I have the COOLEST dad in the universe and he told me we'll just put the whole thing on his credit card and then when the money arrives, I can pay the card off.  Holy crap am I grateful he's my pop!  The thought of having to cancel the surgery was just awful and I kept avoiding the phone call, hoping for a miracle.  Thanks dad!!

I keep imagining how it's going to be to be on the "losing side".  I've been a loser all my life, but now I WANNA be a loser!  What a great thing to be!  I have a closet full of clothes that I just can't fit into anymore and I can't wait to be able to wear them.  I have pants, shirts, shoes...the list goes on.  I won't even need to go shopping because I can wear stuff I've already GOT!  It will feel so sweet to slip into smaller sized clothing.  Good Lord, how will it feel to go to a NORMAL clothes store and be able to buy something?  WOW!  I can't wait!

My kids have been getting really excited for my surgery.  My oldest son (he is 13) keeps asking if I'm going to feel okay, if I'll want to still go swimming this summer, go camping, etc.  I keep telling him of COURSE I want to!  If i like those things already at this size, just imagine how much MORE I'll like them a little smaller!

YAY!  I can't believe this is finally going to happen for me!  I couldn't be happier...