Today I'm enjoying beef n sausage pinwheel lasagne, a strawberry, canteloupe chunk and a quarter of an oatmeal raisin cookie for lunch.  I mean really enjoying it too.  Should I feel guilty for admitting this?  Probably, but I dont.

Over the next several days I'll be weaning myself off solids and working my way back to liquids.  Not only does my pouch need a rest (serious gurgling goin on) but I need to kick this sugar habit too.  I'm looking forward to it.

The first time I tried the all liquid thing, I went cold turkey and had a headache for three days straight.  The second time I wasn't able to maintain.  Third time's a charm?  We shall see.

I have not been a model WLS patient as of late.  I've been eating my face off with whatever I can get my hands on. Or at least as much as my pouch can hold at one time. PF Chang's Kung Pao Chicken has been my drug of choice.  And the salt tastes good.  Real good.

I've even reintroduced myself to my childhood love of sunflower seeds.  They can't be any old seeds either.  They have to be David brand and BBQ flavor.  I love them so!  I can actually eat a whole bag too.

I'll have to see if this salt thing is an indication of some kind of deficiency.

I'm going back to my liquid roots, hoping I can shake this salty beast.  'Tis an expensive habit.

I need some.  God help me.

I'm hoping today is better than yestesrday.  I didn't do as well as I hoped to but it was better than previous days.  Having a hard time since i'm seriously CRAVING PF Chang's Kung Pao Chicken.  I get extra chicken and have two days worth of food.  It's awesome.  Hopefully I have the willpower to resist temptation.

B:   8:30 am--  11oz Myoplex lt protein shake--chocolate fudge    
      11:30 am-- 1 packet of mixed berry steel cut oats made with equal parts half & half and filtered water 
                           1  splenda packet, 1 pat of butter
                            08 oz water 
L: 

D: 

I've eaten my face off over the last two days.  Well I've eaten as much as a toddler sized stomach can hold.  I haven't followed any plan other than the "see food" plan and I'm not proud of myself because of it.  Eventhough the amount of food I can consume is negligable in the grand scheme of things, I still can't let this get out of control because I've been there and done that and have the fat clothes to prove it.  Not only do I have the fat clothes (yes, I still have some--don't judge me), I also have memories of the aching joints and lower back to go along with them. 

Starting tomorrow I'll be doing my sugar/carb detox plan in which I go back to Phase 1 of the post-op diet where I only consume high protein liquids.  I want to be able to do this for a full week but I take progress day by day.  Last time I lasted three days and felt pretty good until I found myself in a social situation where the focal point was food.  It's hard going back to food after several days on liquids.  Not only that, I feel much better when I consume liquids only.

I know this sounds dreadful but I don't consider it a punishment at all.  Sometimes I have to start over so I can stay focused on my end results which are good health and less body mass.  I'm still having touble adjusting to my new frame but that's a post for a different day.

It's likely I'll combine this period with some type of exercise regime--a combo of Bikram Yoga, cardio and resistance training.  The discipline of Bikram Yoga helps me stay focused, enforcing the "mind tells the body what to do" principles.  For much of my life I've been living in the reverse allowing the flesh to tell me what to do instead of the spirit.  I also feel a period of intense prayer coming as well since I need to detox my spirit as well. I actually pray during yoga. (aside: optimum health requires a three prong approach: mind, body & spirit, but again, that's a post for another day)  My pastor's webiste has sermons I can listen to and I can always call him for guidance when if necessary. I should attend Sunday service but it's not my preference.  If I could get a closed service (read: minstered to on a one on one basis) I'd be more inclined to attend. Until I re-enroll in yoga, I'll start with cardio and resistance training and rotate them.